Crucifix had not seen Othello alone since the girl had joined. Perhaps part of this had been trepidation on his own part, unwilling to bring up old memories, to leave himself alone with her where emotions might bubble to the surface, emotions that should have long since vanished in light of Othellos current position as not only mate to another, but mother of his children. Another part of this might have been Scorpion?s possessiveness of her, where he didn?t often leave her unguarded. The Alpha boy sometimes felt he treated her more as a possession then a mate, but again he had lost all rights to judge this.



He had not truly thought of her in a long time, had not allowed himself to. However on the day of her birthing for a heartbeat he had thought he had lost her. She was not his to lose, and yet, and yet? he had almost lost her. He shivered at the thought, at the sight of all that blood, the unconscious figure she made on the floor, the stillborn that had been pulled from her listless frame. He told himself as he moved to Orchids den, that he was here as an Alpha ensuring the wellbeing of the wolves in his pack, this is what he told himself and he could almost believe his lies.



As he entered the fissure that made up the healers den, the girl looked up from her work and seemed to sense something about that after a nod and a half smile she moved out from her home and left him alone with Othello. Cru moved further into the den, uncertain what he expected to find when the last time he had seen her all he could remember was the blood? ?Othello?? he called out uncertainly.


"Speech"

Sleep seemed to the the only thing that took up this dame's time, that and tending to her two little bundles when her health allowed it. Slowly she was becoming more aware, spending more and more time awake. She had yet to stand and leave the den, but she doubted that Orchid would allow it anyways. She was in a half sleeping state when a soft voice called out for her, pulling at her tender heart strings. Crucifix. She would know that voice anywhere. The purple eyed dame turned her head around to look at his same coloured gaze, a small smile parting her dry lips. She would be lying to herself if she said that she didn't have any feelings left for this brute, but the connection that they had shared had been strong indeed. She had learned a lot then, and with the birth of her pups she had somewhat mellowed out. She had two little lives depending on her, she needed to stay solid for them.

Curling her elongated tail around her children, she hushed their soft cries with a few licks, the warmth of her belly and tail seeming to give them what they wanted. They were getting bigger now, and she was sure that they would be stumbling around in no time at all. Not taking her eyes off of her children, her vocals graced the echoing cavern. "I have yet to thank you for what you did Crucifix, I heard that you helped during my delivery." Her voice was soft, unused as she turned her gaze to him once more. There was a deep sadness in her gaze, not just for what she lost that day but for what she lost with him. She wouldn't change her pups, not in a life time. They looked just like her, pure white coats and long tails. Black facial markings fell on both of them, but what if they had been gray and black? She deeply cared for Scorpion, but a part of her would always love the young male standing before her.

Othello let out a soft sigh, her ears laying against her skull. "I miss you." She said carefully, the words tasting bittersweet on her tongue. She did miss the fun that they had had, although the darker times always cast a shadow on that ray of light, of hope. She knew that it was too late for them, but they had left of such bad terms. Not to mention that when she had joined she had cowered beneath Scorpion's large form, her heart tearing in two. It was hard to see him and not feel the craving that was still there, but mostly sated by Scorpion's closeness. She was well satisfied, that was for sure.

As the Alpha boy moved closer he would see that Othello was awake, and the soft cries of her young would sound out for a moment before she comforted them. It was a strangely homely sound, with their little voices calling out for food and warmth and love. He hadn?t really had a chance to see them yet, the ones he had seen where the stillborn?s he had buried with little flowers to mark the tiny grave.



Othellos voice would sound out, although she did not turn to look at him. He was oddly grateful for this little respite, with his eyes filled with emotion, and his face uncovered, open to all he felt. Especially with her thanks, words of gratitude when truly he had done little to nothing. ?It was Orchid and Ellis who did it all? he amended her gently. And as she finally turned to face him he had brought his features once more under control. Something about Othello always made him more emotional, more raw and he was almost ashamed at how naked he felt in front of her.



Certainly he wasn?t prepared for the words she would speak and his lips would turn downwards in a frown. ?You have a family now Othello, a mate and children, a place to settle down ? isn?t that what you always wanted?? he whispered, still finding it amazing that Scorpion could provide for her what he could not.


"Speech"

When the boy spoke she snorted, shaking her head slowly from side to side. "Regardless, you still helped and for that I am ever thankful. I was close to losing myself that day, and had it not been for everyone's help - including your own - I would not have made it." Her voice was somber, heavy with the emotions that wracked her pale form. But she had been rewarded for her struggles, she had been given not only her two own pups, but also two wonderful pups of Ellis. She was blessed, and it was thoughts like that that helped her get over the fact that she had almost lost her life. She watched his smile vanish as her gaze ravished his face. Sure, she did have everything that they had talked about, a home and pups. But to call Scorpion a mate was overshooting it a bit. She truly loved Scorpion, but she knew that no matter how devoted to him she was, he would never love her back. She was his favorite, but his mate? No. His claimed property? More like it. Her eyes fell, her head hanging. "I know that I sound selfish, but I want more Crucifix. I want someone to love me as much as I love them. I do love Scorpion, but..." She trailed off, knowing that she shouldn't speak ill of him, not in front of him. She was sure that he had his own little dirty thoughts about him, neither seemed to like each other. No matter how wrong it was, Othello actually liked it. It made her feel wanted, loved. Her purple eyes wandered back up to her first love, a deep sigh leaving her body and she nosed her little ones closer to the comfort of her belly. "I miss what we had, and I miss us. I miss just talking to you and having fun. When it was good with us, it was so good Cru. I want that again, I don't want you to just walk out of my life." She whispered, her eyes searching his face once again. Did he feel it too? That connection that never seemed to leave? She knew that it couldn't get romantic between them, not when she belonged to Scorpion. Enough blood had been shed in this cave, she didn't want to add any more. baby you're all I need

It was unbelievably hard to hear Othello's words, he had loved this girl once, in fact she was quite possibly his first love, the first to take his heart. He had put in his past now, it had been the only way he had been able to protect his heart when she had joined this pack with another male so shortly after their own fall out. The boy would whimper softly, a sound he could not hold within at her next words, at the ones saying how she had missed him. He didn't need to hear this, he could not, there was already more drama then he could handle in his life and he would not not be the reason for breaking up a family, not now nor ever. ?You have such beautiful children othello, children born of both you and Scoprion. Maybe it is, maybe it is not the life you wanted but it is the one you have now. I will never forget you Othello, and always will I come if you call or need me, but never again will we have what we had. Your children bind you to another in a way that I would never, ever break, and you need to understand that? his speech was turning into a whisper and he was forced to stop, to look away. Again there was all this emotion burning in his gut, how did she had the power to bring him such sadness? Surely it was not fair. But she was his past now, and loving her was something that belonged there, no matter what either of them might want. "Speech"

When the male spoke, Othello let out a soft breath. She knew that they could never be, that what they once had was over now. That didn't make it any easier though. Othello stood, pulling herself to her shaky paws and walking over to the gray and white male. Her elongated tail curled over her little ones to keep them warm, her nose softly touching Crucifix's shoulder. "I know Crucifix, I won't ask you to come between me and Scorpion." He would get hurt if he did, Scorp would beat him into a pulp. Pulling her head back, her purple gaze searched his matching one, a sad smile on her lips. "But I don't want you to leave. I know that it may be too much to ask, but can we still remain friends after all of this?" Maybe it would be too much, it was much to obvious that the two still cared for each other. But she wanted him around, she wanted him to be here when her pups grew up. "You could be Uncle Cru." She teased, a soft laugh bubbling in her throat. She turned and glanced at her too little bundles now. Would they look up at Crucifix and see the kind man that he truly was? Would they ever know of the feelings that their mother held for the man? She hadn't told anyone, not even Scorpion knew the whole story. He knew what he saw, but she never spoke of it. Maybe she would tell stories about him, never telling them the true tale. They didn't need to know, they could figure it out for themselves. She turned back to Crucifix, her sad gaze looking into those similar hued optics of his. "Maybe we can start again." Walk "Talk" Think