I Just Killed My Boyfriend
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Synder v Satis for Maim Round 1
Satis: 8 for clarity- -2 I don't find it believable that Satis could throw her right shoulder in an attack while also lifting that paw in another attack. I opted to put this in clarity since I'm not sure if it was just an order issue. Trying to step on the paw then throwing the shoulder would probably have been fine though it might have lessened the force. 10 for powerplaying. none seen, previous error corrected 4/17/14 at 10:45 pm central time by lunarcat7 7 for defenses. +1 for each seen -3 for not readjusting balance among remaining three legs upon lifting her right forepaw 10 for attack. +4 shoulder attack (+1 for severity) +4 jaw attack (+1 for maim attempt) +2 paw attack (-1 for clarity) Good work, very nice! 10 for injuries. first round Round one Total: 45 Synder: 0 for clarity- -2 how's she moving to the left? twisting? side-stepping? -2 how far to the left? I'm assuming she's now facing Satis head on but you need to specify -2 how much damage was done from Satis to Synder's tail? you say cracking, did it break? I also find it unbelievable that she could simply shake off a broken bone like that -2 which paw is she attempting to slam on Satis? again you have to specify we can't assume -2 how's she moving downward? are her legs coiling suddenly is she diving forward and down? ((specifics strike again! xD)) -2 what does she hope to accomplish by slamming her paw on Satis in the second paw attack? -2 where on Satis' rear is she attempting to drape the leg? -2 in which leg is the tendon in she's going for? 4 for powerplaying. -2 you say she sets the paw down after lifting it this assumes that her attack was successful. -2 too much movement you attack her paw and then attack it again? Give your opponent time to respond to the first attack before launching a second on the same target -2 "crown point directly at tendon" this needs to be an attempt 7 for defenses.+1 for each seen -3 not readjusting balance to other three legs after raising paw 5 for attack. +2 first paw attack (-1 clarity issue) +0 foreleg around rear (I really don't see how this would do damage) +1 second paw attack (points deducted for clarity and pp) +1 shoulder attack (points deducted for realism. I don't see how she can get her shoulder down to slam into Satis when she's trying to raise her self up with her foreleg over Satis +1 bite (points deducted for pp and clarity) 10 for injuries. first round Round one Total: 26 Totals:
Satis: 45/50 Synder: 26/50 And the winner is...
Satis! Snyder must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out. Snyder has also lost her tail. I'll leave it up to you guys to decide if Satis amputates it completely or it falls off later from the injury. Damage:
Feels weird doing this for a 1 round fight as Yumpy hasn't had a chance to state damage. Minor bruising and lacerations will heal in a couple of ooc days. Moderate wounds a week ooc, severe probably 2 weeks. As this was a maim fight though Synder looses her tail as stated above. Notes:
Pretty much everything I want to say is stated above in the notes for each round. Only thing to add is for Starry. Keep an eye on over using pronouns and synonyms. You refer to both Satis and Synder multiple times as "her" and "siren". I had to read through several times to make sure I understood who you were referring to. Try using their actual names more often. I didn't deduct for this but there are others that might. Keep working on your clarity score as well! In some cases it's better to focus on fewer and simpler attacks til you get the hang of clarity as clarity bugs can kill your attack score to. Thanks guys! - By [Lunarcat7]
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? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? it is evident that her russet adversary has been made aware of the oncoming onslaught -- avid pupils traversing the pawn?s slightly-larger physique as the woman settles into a defensive stance, yet makes no movement to straighten out the perpendicular angle created between their bodies until the moment of collision. right shoulder blade successfully strikes her opponent?s left-sided rib-cage; however, the tyrant queen is aggravated to know that despite her momentum and heavy weight, the force of impact had been too weak to even fracture her adversary?s ribs as had been her brutal intentions. the force of impact, however, is intense enough to cause light bruising to blossom upon the front of her own right shoulder, but it is only a minor inconvenience that the phantom can easily disregard as adrenaline continues to course through her veins -- an intoxicating sensation that further fuels the bloodlust that wracks her twisted mind. similarly, the phantom is unsuccessful in her endeavor of piercing the woman?s left eye, and is left unsated as her jaws merely bounce off of sibelle?s forehead -- incisors failing to make even the slightest incision upon her opponent?s flesh. her opponent would pivot to the right until they were nearly parallel to one another -- sibelle?s left side adjacent to her own right, with the russet wraith slightly ahead of her in terms of positioning. and yet, artemis had no intentions of maintaining their parallel positioning, and would immediately seek to swing her own hips out and to her own left in hopes of bringing her body perpendicular to the center portion of sibelle?s left-sided rib-cage. with this movement, sibelle?s jaws would successfully rake down the upper portion of her own right-sided neck, creating moderate lacerations of about a quarter of an inch in depth and two inches in length into the scrunched flesh haloing her jugular, though no grip is obtained due to the tyrant?s movements away from her adversary?s jaws. her own left forepaw meets the safety of the earth after having been ignored, reinstating her balance upon all fours as opposed to three in preparation for the oncoming assault. however, as the tyrant notices her adversary lifting her { sib's } left forepaw in hopes of crushing her front right toes, artemis attempts to move the forepaw entirely out of harm?s way -- lifting the right forepaw now and attempting to hook it around the back of sibelle?s left forelimb { hopefully located towards the exact center of the limb } where she will attempt to yet again pull the limb back towards herself in hopes of upsetting sibelle?s balance, weight meanwhile shifting evenly between her three grounded limbs in hopes of maintaining her own balance. because of the tyrant?s movements away from the pawn, as the russet woman would attempt to throw the entirety of her weight into artemis? right side, it would only be the outside of the phantom?s right shoulder that would receive the brunt of the attack, and another bruise would bloom across her pale flesh to worsen the bruise upon her right shoulder until it was a considerably moderate bruise, and the abrupt force of impact would also force the phantom to step backwards just slightly. jaws that had previously failed to pierce skin would then tilt horizontally to her own left, hoping to strike low as she attempts to wrap her jaws around the upper portion of sibelle?s left forelimb -- mandible seeking to dismantle the left elbow of her adversary while her upper jaw seeks to clamp down upon the front of sibelle?s left elbow joint. she intends to break the targeted bone with the pressure applied behind her hopeful bite, seeking to complicate the movement of her adversary as best she can. all the while, her defenses are maintained to the best of her ability: her skull lowered considerably over her breast and in alignment with the remainder of her spinal cord, tail streamlined in similar alignment, and abdominal muscles tensed to tighten her core. shoulders are rolled forward and neck is scrunched to safeguard her jugular in protective layers of excess flesh and fat, hackles raised along the length of her spine, eyes narrowed, and ears pinned tightly to her lowered crown. limbs are spaced equidistant apart and bent slightly at the joints to lower her center of gravity, weight distributed evenly among each grounded appendage, and her toes are splayed as her nails grip into the earth to maintain traction. jaws are left slackened and her chin is tucked as best it can be to the curvature of her neck { though such is difficult as she horizontally tilts her skull }, blackened lips peeled back to unsheathe untainted incisors that urge for usage. but even in the heat of battle, the tyrant queen can only hope for the negligent red whore to dare show her face -- to dare witness the vendetta artemis unleashes upon her poor pawn. for LEFT EYE TWO of THREE attacks -- hips pivoting to her own left in an attempt to maintain perpendicular positioning. jaws seeking sibelle's left elbow, intending to crush the bone with the pressure of her attempted bite. right forelimb attempting to wrap about the back of sibelle's left forelimb, located towards the center of the forelimb, and hoping to pull it back towards herself with the intentions of upsetting sibelle's balance. injuries -- moderate bruising to right shoulder, quarter-inch deep and two-inch-long lacerations to the scrunched flesh upon her upper right-sided neck { no grip obtained }. full dodge of sibelle's paw. notes -- it was confirmed by saf that, during the time frame where sib and art are parallel to one another, sib is slightly ahead of art in terms of positioning. not that it really matters with art moving away but i mentioned it in my post and don't want to get docked in pp for it xD |
Shoulders were rolled forward to encumber is neck in fur, flesh, and fat. His hind limbs were evenly spread with toes splayed and his knees bent ever so slightly to keep him decently balanced. His jaw was lightly tucked and lips were parted. Eyes were narrowed in on his opponent and his spine was in perfect alignment. Muscles were tightened to keep him sturdy and his ears were rolled back on top of his head. He needed to slay. He needed to end. syrinx was tired of the war and would put the last of his strength (despite the pain and exhaustion) into his final blows.Still, Syrinx is aware that he is not the only one fighting for his life.
Syrinx could feel the shift of power in his opponents stance. he could feel the force of Isardis pressing against him and immediately he would let himself re-adust. steps would be taken to find some sort of balance and his limbs would tighten in an attempt to keep himself close to the Indarran king. However, Isardis would push against syrinx's right side and he would attempt to snap into Syrinx's flesh. The movement of his limbs in an attempt to tighten around Isardis's neck would make it so isardis's teeth only grabbed the edge of the flesh near his elbow, however, the tender spot would bleed heavily with a 1 inch deep cut that was barely a centimetre long. it were as though a violent nip had come to him.
Syrinx would not be able to handle his pressure with his wounded limb and he would feel his positioning change. He would feel his weight falter and he would feel gravity begin to turn him backwards. However, he would attempt to take Isardis with him. Syrinx would attempt to thrust his right shoulder slightly towards his own left in an attempt to smash it into Isardis's face and stun him. The he would attempt to grab Isardis's neck in his teeth. Syrinx would attempt to make to snap in the same motion he had previously used on Isardis's ears, simply aim farther down, and grasp deep into Isardis's fur. He wanted to keep his teeth near Isardis's neck so that, even while he was falling, he could hopefully pull the demon king with him and still have chance at destroying him.
Syrinx could feel his body roll against the ground. His head kept tucked forward so that he would not hit it on the ground, but his position was simple. He was flat on his back with three limbs in the air. His dislocated left limb would be closer to his body and a sharp pain surged through him. His focus, however, would not rely on him, but his opponent.