A few days after her traumatic discovery would find Motif curled in a den she might as well call her own. She had never bothered to recreate the one that had been lost in the storm and now she honestly couldn't find a reason why she should. So she was having pups, so what? Didn't mean they needed a comfy den to live it. She smirked without humour at a thought. Perhaps she could have the pups in Bass's den and he could live with the smell of afterbirth and the noise of their sharp lungs. But this wasn't his fault of course, even if the idea of the ultimately prank teased at her playful side. Yes, she wasn't taking this seriously, but that was the only way she could live with herself. After all, what else could this be but some big cosmic joke upon her. Find a hot guy, sure, now live with pups for the rest of your life. Her thoughts where a chaotic jumble, rushing back and forth from thoughts of jokes to thoughts of horror, as she struggled to deal with the predicament she found herself in. As much as she loved her family she wished she could lock herself up here forever and never see the light of day again. How had her life changed so dramatically? She couldn't care for young, and nor did she want to. She cared for Abaven, and that was more then enough responsibility for her, she didn't want little lives in her paws, couldn't the universe understand that? ""

 

Motif had disappeared not long after the revelation of her condition, she was obviously very much put out of sorts by her blessing. Though Rhythm still didn?t much want to think about the gorey details she knew that she wanted to have a child someday. A whole litter on the other hand did not sound so enjoyable, so she would feel like staying away from the whole pregnancy thing was in her best interest. She?d just as happily watch over her sibling?s litters. Not to mention looking out for her own siblings. Rhythm?s dark paws carried her over the terrain easily, her paws seeking out the odd den that Motif now had banished herself too. Obviously she wished to be alone, but Rhythm would careless. She felt a strong need to watch after her sister during this time, she knew it was going to be a challenge for her. So with a bit of a smile on her lips she?d go visit her sister. She wouldn?t walk with any sort of stealth, wanting the dark girl to know that she was coming. She?d walk right up to the entrance of the den and put her face into the opening. "Hey, ms. droopy-drawers. Come outside, we?re going for a walk." There was no room for discussion as she backed up and waited patiently for Motif to emerge. ""

Rhtyhm would not leave her alone, in fact the girl had been there through every stage in her drama, from the boy telling to the discovery and to now. She loved her sister, and even as she glared at the darker girl that entered her head into her domain, she was secretly grateful and pleased that her sister had sought her out, and no doubt Rhythm must know the truth of it too. Rhy's tone held no room for argument and with a sigh the Destruction daughter would unfold her limbs and stretch our her paws, rising to her feet at last she would make her way out of the den to stand beside her twin. She sighed, leaning against the others coat despite Rhy's wish to walk. Motif still felt all wrong in her skin, she prickled and felt the heat despite the coming winter, she didn't feel like doing anything and she knew her temper was beyond short. Perhaps it even contributed to her despair at her situation, but even if it encouraged the mood it didn't create it ? Motif truly didn't want these children. ?Alright, Rhy, after you? she said, her voice resigned to her fate as she let Rhy take charge.

She?d receive only a glare as she poked her head into her sister?s chosen cell, knowing she would not be greeted with open arms. However Rhythm knew very well how much she needed to be there with her and would not be dissuaded from her task. Sitting rather proudly, obviously not ashamed of her demand of the pregnant woman. Her demands would be met as well, Motif?s form would be seen as she emerged from the hole in the ground. A broad smile would appear on her face as she welcomed her back into the world. Though Motif didn?t look too happy, Rhythm was pleased with herself. Her sister would utter a sigh as she leaned into her side, voicing that she?d given up and would do as she asked. "Exercise will make you feel better, and the fresh air will clear your mind." She?d say softly as she started moving, slow at first. She wondered silently if she?d be able to convince her sister to come running with her. "What have you been thinking about," She?d ask, again her voice soft as she kept the rather slow pace. ""

Pregnant woman she could not even begin to consider herself in such condemning terms, it was just a joke, she was a walking joke upon the earth now and she would eventually awaken and everything would be as it had been. Oh, she was not truly that gullible of course but it was nice to dream that all this could be over with the opening of the eyes, the awakening of a dream. She would take in the pride on Rhy's face, and the carrier of the unborn would find it in her to smile wryly at her sister. Funny, her sister was finding her strength inside herself these days and would show it to her now it what could have been the face of Motif's most stubborn day, had she not seen that strength in her sister first and simply given in.



Rhy would tell her that the exercise was for her own good, and Motif would offer no complaints as she started after her sister, keeping to the slow pace the other set. And still Rhy would pry, pressing her, encouraging her to exit the walls she feebly tried to throw up about herself. ?Do you want the honest truth, Rhy?' she asked softly, matching her pace step-to-step with Rhy's, keeping her concentration on ensuring they walked in synchronised steps ? it bet thinking of anything else.





speech

 

She didn?t realize what a feeling she could experience just by seeing Motif?s soft smile as they began their walk. She?d notice that her sister would try to keep their paces matched. Rhythm would refrain from messing her up, keeping the same rhythm going as they strolled over Abaven?s territory. While Motif would notice how much Rhythm had been stepping up she?d still feel the familiar plague of inadequacy. She didn?t know what it was, but even still she didn?t think she?d ever amount to anything as amazing as her brother and sister. She?d just be there to support them and their well being. Her question would hang in the air long before Motif?s dark lips would create a reply. The way she asked her own question would cause dark ears to lower slightly, what in the world could her sister be thinking? These babies seemed to plague her mind worse than she?d have expected. "I do," She?d say quietly, hoping she didn?t regret getting the full truth of the goings on in Motif?s mind. "Speech"

Keeping step with Rhythm was easier to accomplish then she had thought, their pace through the territory was easy and there was already the subconscious movement aiding her to fall into step with Rhythm, as through they had walked side by side all their lives. It gave her a sense of strength, drawing on Rhythm beside her to face the ugly truths growing inside of her. She didn't see Rhy's reaction to her words, the way her sisters ears pulled back in worry, her eyes where too busy watching the fluid steps of her sisters paws as she glided across the earth of Abaven.



She couldn't help but think her sister was strong, and it wasn't that she was growing stronger either, it was that she was waking up to herself, to who she was inside and who she could be, she was blossoming in Abaven with Bass and Motif, and it was a wonder for her to see. With Rhy's go ahead, Motif would sigh and finally lift her head to her sisters. ?When they are born, I'm going to take them to the Southern-lands. Depending on what happens there, I will return, with or without them. I.. I know this might seem strange, that we are a family build on bonds and siblings and blood but I can't do this Rhy? her voice crackled, but she forced herself to continue staring into Rhy's sweet blue eyes ? she needed her sisters support in this. ?I don't know how.. I don't know how to tell this to Bass, I don't think he would understand, he's even bigger on family then I am and with his own mate expecting.. I think he expects us to raise them together. But please... Rhy... I cant? she begged her sister to understand, to not judge her but support her.

She really didn?t know how much of a rock she would be to her sister in these hard times, but no matter what she would realize that her sister was in need of her. Bracing herself for whatever Motif was about to tell her she?d do her best to keep her features neutral and supportive as her sister would sigh and begin her words truthfully. The words she gave would simply break Rhythm?s heart. She would so look forward to meeting them, her amazing sister?s first children! Now, there was a chance that she would never know them. That she would not be able to shower them in kisses or hear them giggle as they ran around her paws. Doing her best to keep her emotions hidden she would listen to the rest of Motif?s words. Bass too it seemed would be expecting his first litter, and even more she?d feel a press against her motherly instincts. Her body wished to reproduce, but Rhythm knew she too would never plan to go through parenthood. She couldn?t blame her sister in the least, but she would still feel a pang of loss and she?d not even met them yet. "I?ll be there for you, Motif. Whatever you need me to do." Though this decision would hurt her heart, she knew Motif had to decide this for herself. Maybe she?d change her mind before they came. "Just, let me say goodbye before.." Her voice would catch in her throat as she choked down a sob. Everything had been so perfect, but now the story had turned so sad. A family that could never be together. "Speech"

Their walk was endless, an easy pace that she barely even felt, despite the familiar uncomfortable feeling that constantly crept along her skin. She felt she could walk like this for hours, and doing it beside Rhythm made it a walk worth while. She was watching her sister closely, needing to see her eyes and rely how important this was to the other girl. So she would see the hurt that would be there for her to see and Motif would grimace at the sight of it. ?Oh Rhy, you'll have your own children someday, you know that right?? she would ask softly, sighing, chewing words over in her mind. That was the second choice of statements she might had made, but she couldn't say the first, she knew Rhy understood and was doing all she could to help her, after all. To tell her sister I didn't get knocked up so you could play mum was beyond the cruelty even her flustered, hormonal mind could utter out-loud. ?I don't know Rhy, I don't know if.. well.. if I make this choice, I don't think I could handle watching you wish I had made another, well you dot over them? she admitted, at last casting down her eyes and sighing again. Why did this all have to be so hard? When did things get so complicated. She wanted her carefree, happy life back, a life of Abaven and spars and running and teasing Bass and Rhythm. ""

 

Their pace was perfect, it matched the mood of them rather well. Rhythm would do her best to be supportive, but she didn?t regularly deal with emotions this strong. She was never assaulted so harshly with feeling, but she would do well for herself as she bit back the water from her eyes. This was Motif?s decision to make, no matter what. She seemed determined to leave all of Shai within the lands he dwelled in. She didn?t want to try and change Motif?s mind, she?d only hope that she would. As Motif replied she would feel her expression return to a neutrality she felt was believable. Motif?s words were almost comical though, she had no intentions of ever giving birth. "I hope not," she?d say with hopefully enough humor in her voice that Motif would not take offense. The way things were going she hoped she never fell in love. Motif would go on, telling her she wasn?t sure if such a promise were a good idea. Again she?d feel the hurt but she? do better this time. She wouldn?t show any change in her emotions as she leaned over to nuzzle her sister. For Motif?s comfort as well as her own. She?d take in a deep breath, searching for the bravery she wished she could have for her sister. She couldn?t find many more words, but she?d whisper through her chocolate coat, "I?ll honor whatever decision you make, Motif." ""

Motif couldn't help but smile wryly at Rhy's words, she had thought she heard a maternal longing in her tone when she had asked to say goodbye to Motif's unborn children, but perhaps she did not want children of her own, even as she wanted children to look after. She furrowed her brow at that strange thought, before moving on. She was certain she wouldn't change her mind about Shai and the children, she felt it in her heart that she needed to do this to live her life. Perhaps one day, when she was truly ready to have children she would regret it, but she would regret it more and now if she kept them.



?I'm sorry Rhy, and thank you? she whispered back, pulling her sister close and holding her, nuzzling her head gently into the crock of Rhy's familiar and warm neck. She breathed in the scent of family and comfort and drew strength from that. She never wanted to hurt Rhythm, but perhaps even in this stupid pregnancy she would do that, this pregnancy was destined to ruin everything, wasn't it?

She?d see as Motif would realize her similar feeling of bearing children, yes she loved them but her own? She was completely content with enjoying her siblings babies, and already she?d feel the sadness of not knowing Motif?s. She?d do her best to hid these emotions, stuffing them away where they would never return. She?d keep repeating to herself that this would be her sister?s decision, she could not sway her. Motif would apologize as best she could, and though the situation was less than ideal Rhythm would forgive her. She?d feel herself pulled into her sister?s embrace, the emotions overwhelming her again as she let herself be pulled into her sister?s side. She?d snuggle in, feeling the weight of the decision heavy on her own shoulders. The dark she wolf would do everything she could to keep the tears from slipping from her eyes. The excitement of potential nieces and nephews leaving her in a single droplet of water. From that moment on she would not look back and would not mourn the loss. "I love you, Motif." She?d whisper softly, burying her face within her sister?s soft fur. "Speech"

Having Rhythm around turned out to be the greatest blessing, having a female she could confide in had never been a priory to her before but in the wake of everything that had happened she knew she needed it. Needed it ? and here Rhythm was, ready to listen to all the things Motif worried about telling anyone else. She would lean in to her embrace with Rhythm, grateful for the pillar of support her sister had become and found herself smiling at the other woman, despite the sadness that had come from what Motif had had to say. ?Your right Rhy, a walk was good for me? she would admit teasingly, she knew the road ahead wouldn't be an easy one but it would certainly be bearable with Rhythm here beside her. ?And I you Rhy, I'm really glad your here? she would whisper into her sisters coat. ""