Insomnia would huff, glaring up at the summer sky. On a rare afternoon, no snow fell from the sky, the temperature was still freezing, but it wasn't wickedly so. The runner had gotten used to the harsh temperatures, despite her anemia. Asheni had often supplied her supplements to assuage her illness... Insomnia winced harshly at that thought. They tiny healer had been mangled beyond repair, a horrid gruesome death that no soul should ever face and she had done it alone. She was torn between sorrow and ugly hatred for the menace who had so casually ripped apart a pack mate, a friend, a loving companion. She calmed herself, replaced that hatred with a deep, steadying breath. Ears pinning back against her skull as she reminded herself why she was returning to the seemingly abandoned den at this time of day... when the sun still rose high and the pack was out getting things accomplished. It wasn't the massive den they all shared per say, but rather a tiny alcove a short distance from it.

Crusade had returned a short few days ago, and while she had wanted to speak to the woman, she didn't deem it her place to tell of her Asheni...why? Well they tiny healer very rarely shut up about Crusade, or Cifer. To Asheni, Crusade had been her sister, probably something closer, that exceeded the realm if the absolute worship the small woman gushed about was anything to go by. She had not seen Crusade as many times and she wasn't sure how deep that bond was returned, but if her complete and utter absence was anything to go by... it had hit her hard. Insomnia swore softly beneath her breath but forced her legs to move. Cifer had seemingly up and vanished, and Ifrit... the ass hadn't even bothered showing up to the meeting... next time she chanced upon him she would have a word or two for him. Insomnia may not be the closest wolf to the ex-chief, but damn it all to hell if she wasn't gonna try to help. She had lost her mate and her pups all in one shot... she understood loss. She understood it far too well.

Another huff would leave her and the alcove would enter her vision. Respectfully she remained outside, she would converse with Crusade later, today was all about the timber wolf, it wasn't about her. She would let a soft chuff escape her, announcing her presence, before hesitantly clearing her throat. "Crusade? Its Insomnia... I came to offer my condolences and to check up on you."Her words were soft, gentle, easy. It was simple for her to return to that mental state of mom. She would wait just out of sight for the timber wolf to respond.

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~*~ (ooc: as I'm mentioning the pups in this, Shrap and Lu - are welcome to join in with them if they wish) In the end, it?s the best that go first. Crusade had little doubt. It was a lesson that had been pounded into her again and again, by surf, by war, by satan?s lupine servants. Her bliss with her new mate and her children, could not have been allowed to stay perfect for long. She should?ve guessed it. Perhaps she had. But Crusade had never approved of allowing fear of the past or future to mar her vision of the present. All the same it was a hard blow, as cruel as any she?d ever had to take. Dear Asheni? Yet what would the healer say if she was here? How indignant that marbled husky fae would be if she learned that now at the mention of her name, ever Glaciem head bowed sadly, or that at the very thought, Crusade?s old heart sank within her breast. The plucky healer would not have it so. She would wish for Crusade to remember her as her young and happy sister ? bright blue eyes, happy pink grin, tail wagging in a blur always smelling of sweet healing herbs. That was how Asheni deserved to be remembered. And in time, Crusade would force herself to do so? But it was just a bit too early yet. The pain was still too hard to bear. That she would never see her again on this side of death?s veil was just a terrible, terrible truth. Her dear friend?. Her sister? "Crusade? Its Insomnia... I came to offer my condolences and to check up on you." At the first sound, Crusade?s head had popped up. Shame on her for not noticing the paw steps earlier. She sniffed her grey nose, and for a moment, only the side of her face with the empty socket was visible. On the other side of her face, she was blinking away tears, so that, when she did turn, the green-gold eye was waterless. The tears, rather than trickle down her cheek fur, had fallen onto her left paw, and Crusade quickly crossed her right leg over the left. There was little trace of liquid sorry ? but the look of it was still in her the back of her eyes. That she could never hide, so she did not bother trying. Her first, unconscious wish was to send whoever it was away. Her pups lay sleeping in the curve of her belly and she could easily justify nap-time as an excuse for not wanting any sort of visitor. Yet... was she not strongest when she had to be? Perhaps company was just what she needed to shake her from her own lonely thoughts. "Insomnia," Crusade murmured, "It is good of you to visit me." She meant it. Something like a waning light of surprise shown in her eyes for a moment. She had known of the she-wolf's return, but with all her family to attend to, had not had the slightest chance of getting a good heart to heart conversation. She had been curious as to where her brave, quiet runner had been. What had brought her back? Curiousty, however, was for the idle, and Crusade's heart was too a buzz with thoughts to really be curious now. But what she did what, was to hear the voice of another trusted she-wolf. "Come," she said in a soft tone that would not disturb her sleeping babes. "Please sit by me, I'd been meaning to speak with you for some time." ~*~ ~Because .G.i.v.i.n.g. U.p. was something I never learned to do~

Insomnia cursed every last deity in the sky for what had happened to Asheni. If there was a creature of innocence pure, it was the tiny healer. Seemingly nothing could have dragged the little woman down, neither heartache nor loss. She was always smiling, always chipper... that loner had torn her to ribbons, within Glaciem's border... Insomnia still quivered in her fury. She would gladly join the hunt for such a monster. He had tortured her and that simply could not stand to pass... but first, Crusade needed to be seen to good health and since Cifer was not here for the woman to lean on, or vice versa, Insomnia would do her best. She wasn't as close to the ex-Alpha as Asheni had been and they may not have been the best of friends, but the two toned dame certainly understood loss.

She waited with reverend patience just out of sight. She wouldn't impede on the new mommy if her presence was not welcome. Insomnia intended to give her a choice, always a choice. She could scent salt upon the air but that was to be expected, the two had, presumably been close enough to be sisters. She pranced, forelimbs lifting high off the ground, her paws nearly brushing the bottom of her snout. A nervous tick, an anxious habit she had possessed since long, long ago. Silence would reign for a few moments and despite her own anxieties, she knew, eventually Crusade would have to face the world eventually. She was lucky, she at least had her pups to cling too. Insomnia had had nothing.

Finally, a voice responded, it was soft and despite the effort to hide it, the lingering depression in those tones made Insomnia's heart crack for the woman. This was far too similar, far too close to her own story. With a soft sigh and a smile wide enough to block out the sun, the two toned fae stepped into view. Obsidian orbs glancing down at the two pups curled upon Crusade's belly and then up to Crusade herself. The genuine smile that lit her maw at the sight of the babes could not be denied, pups had always been her weak point. "They are beautiful Crusade." Her voice would murmur softly.

She reclined to lay upon the smooth of her belly a respectable distance away, she doubted Crusade would snarl at her, but young mothers could be unpredictable and Insomnia hadn't come here to cause the woman more grief. She dipped her head, accepting the gentle thanks, the soft smile never leaving her maw. before she could say anymore the woman would speak, offering that she wished to speak with her. Insomnia would roll her eyes playfully, obsidian gaze drifting to the rocks and crevices above. "An old crazy bat like me? Why ever would you wanna talk to me?" The laughter in her tone was evident, the statement not to be taken harshly. She wouldn't push Crusade to talk of Asheni, if she wanted someone to vent too, she surely could but such would not be pressured. For now she would keep the conversation light and airy and did her best to make the woman feel better.

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~*~ "Crazies are the best, didn't you know?" Crusade said at once in reply to Insomnia's coy reply. "Why if I had a bone for every time I was called such, I could build a whole a moose." There. Banter. It was a nice change to tears. An unlike some, who felt hollow when trying to move on from mourning, it made Crusade feel better. She could do nothing without sincerity, so if she wished to act untroubled, she had to push those troubles aside. And here was a kind, young fae to help her. What more could she ask for? "Besides," Crusade added, "It's the crazy ones who I prefer in a fight. One never knows when a bit of bear-climbing is in order." No, no. she couldn't resist it. To Crusade, that had been Isomnia's crowning moment. Though in all that had been happening, the moment had to be overlooked, when the pale Timber cross thought of this packmate of hers, she thought of that scene. It was then that Insomnia had more than earned her place among the real ranks of Glaciem. Besides, why not bring it up. Certainly that memory had it's own sorrowed taints, but what part of Crusade's life didn't? Sorting out the good and still appreciating it - that was the skill to master. And she'd become quite good at it, as evidenced by a wry little smile that curled on her muzzle as she thought back to the time. That was when her dear Cifer had saved her. They'd both received blows from the bear and both seen eachother go down, feeling rage at the right, but then Cifer had caught her... He'd saved her again, and then pulled her up over the cliff and gone on to help her with the wounded like it had been the most natural thing in the world. Not having him with her at this time was hard, but she more than understood what drove him, and to some extent it helped to know that someone was out there looking for vengeance at all times. Crusade shook herself from her musings and returned to the matter at hand. "But truly, I have been wanting to know how you've fared. What happened to you in the times that you were parted from us? And now that you're back, are you glad for it?" Perhaps it was a story she had already recounted to others but it was a one that had not reached Crusade's ears, and any story, even if it be tinged with some trials of it's own, was a welcome diversion to the present realities. ~*~

Insomnia's muscles relaxed as she reclined a fair distance away from Crusade, her dark eyes lighting gleefully as the pups scaled their mother like their own personal jungle gem. She remembered when her own pups had done as such to her. A lonely pang it her heart that she was fast to smash. I cannot grieve forever. She had wasted far too much of her life on regret, instead she smiled, a soft chortle leaving her mouth. It's too bad you cannot build a moose, it has been awhile since I've had such a delicacy, one of my favorites! of course if we wished to trace my Arkhein days, rattlesnake wasn't too shabby either, if you can avoid the fangs, nasty little buggers they are." She would cheerfully add to the conversation, a laugh on her lips.

Insomnia snorted, throwing her head to the side, dismissing the next comment with a soft, rather undignified snort, regardless of this, a smile would curl her mouth and her traitorous tail would thump the earth a few times. "You know... Insomnia is not the name I was born with. I woke up in the middle of the night on Ciroc's beaches, bruised, bleeding and with absolutely no memory. Not even the smallest of scents. The name was something I coined, because I couldn't get to sleep. I struggled with it for the longest time and it was Elyas that made me see how blind I was. So focused on the past that I couldn't see the future, and like the idiot that I am, I did the same thing after I was separated from him. My initial joining Glaciem, was more selfish than I let on. It was the farthest thing away from the desert. When you asked me to fight that day, I was in a dark place. I had no intention of surviving. It was your... quick thinking, your raw determination not to see a single soul killed, that began my healing, allowed me to see what a bonehead I had been. I have a lot to thank you for Crusade and should you ask it of me, I will gladly scale another." Her words were genuine and honest, but spoken with a smile, not meant to be taken too seriously.

"My time away from Glaciem was more to help myself move on than anything. Elyas was my soul mate and when I lost him... I just... I lost everything that had made me, well me. At the time, I buried my feelings and came to Glaciem with the mindset of a mindless drone. I threw myself into meaningless tasks, I tried to forget about the incident instead of facing it, accepting it as I should have done. When the volcano erupted and the land annihilated, I was left alone, with no tasks or duties to occupy my mind and it hit me all at once. I'm better now, but it took some time. I know we may not be the closet of friends, but if you need someone to talk too, or if you just want everyone to shut up and have a companion for a hunt, I'm only a call away. I've heard I can make a halfway decent sparring partner too." Insomnia would wink, a playful gleam entering her obsidian eyes. Life would no longer break her and that was evident in the strength of her tones and the relaxation of her body.

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