Walk | Talk | Think
 
Life had since become a blur. Tahlia hardly registered the changing of the days, did not keep tabs on the hours as they passed, and fell out of sync with the world around her. She felt entirely apart from it, a lost soul with nothing to tether her to this harsh and heavy reality. Her days were spent in a dazed stupor, lying about listlessly either within her den or beside the mimosa tree. She forgot to sleep, to drink, to eat. If not for her children, she surely would have starved not only herself but the tiny lives growing within her. 

Her unborn children were the only company she kept willingly. They grew within her, getting stronger by the day while she felt herself growing weaker and more lethargic. She should have been more mindful of them, but grief was a difficult thing. It distracted her, consumed her, and left her little time or energy to devote to anything but her own personal loss. The kids did their part - offering her meals, taking turns spending time with her - but she very rarely recognized their efforts. Her world had been shattered, her anchor lost. She felt too crippled by depression to truly care beyond what immediately affected her. 

Which was why she had not noticed how still they had been this day when before they had been so active. They waited with anticipation and Tahlia remained oblivious, spending her late morning lying upon her side curled up within her den that was too large for just her. It felt cold and empty inside, but if she went too far one of her children would simply fetch her back again and guide her home so she stayed. And it was lucky she did. 

The first pain was hardly a pain at all, so minuscule that she nearly wrote it off as a singular cramp, but eventually another came, and another, and more. She fidgeted upon the floor of her den, the beginning discomfort growing into something intolerable and eventually unbearable. The lives she carried were on their way, soon to be part of this world and suckling at her side. Just the thought was enough to bring tears to her eyes. This was not something she wanted. Not this way. 

It did not occur to her to call for help or assistance or even for her children. She had driven it into her mind that she was now alone in this world and she acted as if she was, bearing her pain, her birthing, alone and selfishly. But the pain, both emotional and physical, was not something easily stifled, particularly at a time like this. She shifted, stood, turned, trying desperately to make herself as comfortable as she could be while her body prepared for the first child, and with each moment her whines and cries grew louder the closer the first pup came to being born. 
 

Nako had allowed himself to healthily grieve over the passing of his father as were all of his siblings who varied in the ways they dealt with the loss. His paws dug the grave under the mimosa tree where Bane now rested. And it was where Tahlia only traveled if to nothing more than lay with her mate and grieve. Tahlia was by far the hardest hit by the family's loss. Her years spent with Bane and the moments they shared before his passing were something he could never understand until he found one to pledge his heart to. Nako stood over the steep side of the fjord and it was where he waited anxiously for Tahlia to come up. Jakart and Kailos, he didnt know how they where they were right now, only that they were hunting. A half eaten elk lay buried under the ever falling snow, antlers and ribs the only real telltale sign it was there. The only time that he could really coax his mother to eat was when she surfaced. If only to help the young that grew within her. More brothers and sisters to watch grow.

The adult wolf shifted on his paws, biting back a set of tears as he felt the feathers his father had given him brush along his head and neck. His shoulder ached from were the Talutah scar showed in the gap of the fur and he shook his pelt free of snow. His only good ear tilted in the direction where his mother lay in her den. A cry carried by the wind was the only sound Nako needed to hear before taking off down the hill with all urgency. With a few bounds he was by the entrance, cries of what sounded like pain coming from within. A tense breath exited past his muzzle as he shuffled down the entrance of the den. "Mom!" Nako barked with worry, observing the scene with trepidation and with a glance back up the entrance. Des wasn't around was she? The male fidgeted with his paws before heading back up. He would stay by the entrance and hope that Tahlia would be all right.

Walk | Talk | Think   In the wake of Bane's passing, Anais found it hard to create balance within her life. The loss she felt was great, capable of sneaking up on her at a moment's notice and rendering her useless until it passed. Having others who depended on her helped. The task of watching over her mother alongside her other siblings kept her busy most of the time and gave her something to focus on despite the poor state of the woman. And Lebrah helped as best as he was able to, providing a source of happiness and joy within a world that felt devoid of it. She was grateful for the stolen moments she got with him, grateful for those rare spans of time where she could forget all the sadness and pain. But it did not stop them from showing up in other ways.  She was with Lebrah outside of their den, enjoying one of those stolen moments, when the first birthing pains struck her mother. The young wolf had surprisingly grown comfortable in sharing space with the childlike male very soon after adopting him, and it did not seem odd in the least to her how he behaved or the fact that her first son was older than she was by some years. His distraction was welcome and his innocent demeanor only made her cherish him more, to the point that she was even able to set aside her own grief in order to be there for him. Her smile might have been heavy still, the look in her yellow-gold eyes haunted, but she could not allow herself to become lost as she watched her mother become.  Which made the sudden sounds coming from her mother's den all the more concerning. Tahlia had been strangely silent since the passing of her husband, moving through each day as if a piece of her own spirit had passed on as well. Confused, immediately frightened, Anais froze, staring off through the trees toward her mother's den while her ears folded back with worry. Something was wrong. Frantic, her heart already racing, the grey-gold girl did not think to say anything to her brightly marked son as she began to race toward her mother's den, did not think of the worry she might have given him for the way she was reacting. Something was wrong with her mother and she needed to be there to help.   Her swift gait got her there beside the den in barely any time at all, her anxious gaze searching her brother's face where he sat outside of it as if keeping guard. "Is she okay?" she asked nervously as she crept forward, hardly waiting for a response as she padded to his side and stepped past to peer within the den. The sounds of her mother's pain felt amplified inside the earthen space, filling her ears and hurting her heart. But at the same time she felt relieved. Her mother was not hurting for nothing; she was giving birth. Anais knew nothing about birthing, knew even less about the plants that Lior had taken such an interest in that were likely of more help now than anything.  She was helpless, useless, but she felt she needed to do something. "Come on, Mom, breathe, you can do this," she said encouragingly as she stepped a little closer, not even a little sure that her mother heard. With as much pain as the woman seemed to be in, she doubted she would have heard anything in her position either.

They had been pouncing in the snow, and Lebrah had been showing off a few of his dance moves. He burst out with laughter, looking up at the woman he considered to be his mother. She seemed rather off lately, more quiet and reserved. Sometimes she looked really sad, and he didn't quite know what to do about it. He was just about to do another jig when Anais took off, racing towards something. Lebrah scrambled to his paws, letting out a yip of excitement. Oh boy, a race! He took off quickly behind her, trying to catch up to her. Boy, was she fast! It was the fastest that he had ever seen her run, even faster than when they had raced towards the river! Jumping in the air and panting happily, he caught up to her tail as the soft fur tickled his nose. Shoving his face into her fluffy backside he gave out a joyous laugh, until he heard the cries.

Lebrah skid to a stop, snow kicking up around him as the calls of pain sounded out. Whimpering the male shrunk back towards the earth, red ears pinning flat against his skull. Anais entered the den, but he didn't want too. The cries were scary, and it made his head spin. Covering his ears with his paws he let out a small cry of his own, a pain suddenly so great within his heart. He knew what this was, what hurt and pain felt like. Thoughts of harming his siblings clouded his mind, but he didn't even have brothers or sisters! Her dying screams, crying out for the world to end. No! Stop! What was happening? These couldn't be memories, he didn't do anything like this, no! Never!

It was all too much for him to handle, until everything shut off. He cowered in the snow, pelt damp with sweat. The boy shook, unsure of what had just happened. He didn't like it, not one bit. He heard Anais' sweet voice from within the cave, and he wiggled forward until his nose was poked in. There, that was helping, right? He was there, kind of. Whining softly, he squeezed his eyes shut and prayed for it all to go away.

Lior would take her turn along with her siblings in keeping watch over their mother, in making sure she did not stray and making sure she ate. Her mother... The part of her that was “Tahlia” was gone. The gray furred child could see it. Her body moved, breathed, but her soul had fled after her father’s as he passed. Seeing her mother falling apart made her heart ache desperately. She could not have saved her father’s life. There was nothing she could do to break her mother from her depression. Attempts at conversations and making her smile were in vain. Lior didn’t admit it to anyone else... But she knew her family was breaking and it scared her.

Destruction, their godmother, and been distant ever since Bane’s death as well. Whenever Lior approached her the dark female would find some excuse to slink off to the shadows again, to be alone. She was grieving... And she said she was sorry she could not go to Tahlia, saying her presence could “only make things worse”. Lior didn’t understand that either... How her godmother looked at her with such sadness... Such guilt when she spoke those words.

A deep sigh left Lior’s lips as she closed her eyes. She should have been happy. Should have been with both parents and ready to become a big sister as Anais had when she and Kailos were born. But there was no excitement. No will to run and play. No drive to smile. She could feel her happiness crumble more and more with each moment she spent with her mother, watching her giving up. She... She could just see it.

Lior’s ears would perk, eyes shooting open as the pained sounds broke through her thoughts. “Mom...” She didn’t know whose turn it was supposed to be with Tahlia... But she knew she should go regardless. Could it be her mother’s time...?

When the child raced to the den she found Anais already there, as well as the strange man whom was denning with her. Lior hadn’t gotten the details on that yet. She... Hadn’t really spoken much with her siblings since their father’s passing. Just enough to know who was taking care of their mother and when. She would poke her head in. Pain. Her mother was in such pain.

Lior closed her eyes, trying desperately to think. She had not learned much of healing, just some basic things. Were there any herbs she could think of that she might have brought to her den that could be used for pain? After a moment she opened her eyes. “I’ll be back. I.. I have an herb she can take for pain.” Quick as a flash the girl raced off. The flower she had in mind, or rather the leaves, were used as painkillers. She had taken some of them, as well as the daisies, with her when they had left Seracia since they were common in sight during spring, summer, and part of the fall. They would be dried but... They could work. They had to.

Walk | Talk | Think
 
(( Gonna go ahead to get the birthing going - baby can post if Ral wants - but feel free to assume Lior got back with enough time to hand off the plant stuffs! I can work it in during her next reply. )) 
 
Distracted, lost, within the mind-numbing process of giving birth, it was not the conscious part of Tahlia's mind that heard her son call for her. It registered in a quieter piece of it, a piece that was not focused on the task at hand, that did not manage to break through the cloud she was veiled in to let her know that her cries had been heard. Oblivious, she only continued to move about in search of a position that felt comfortable, that felt right, and suffered through the worsening pains of labor as her body continued to prepare itself to bring her puppies into the world and her mind begged the whole process to stall and stop for good. 

Pain coupled with sadness brought along with it fresh tears and she felt her eyes welling up even as she clenched them shut against the unbearable discomfort. No, she could not do this! Raising children on her own without her husband? She had gotten away from that when she and her eldest children had been banished from their old home in Seracia and she had been done with it since. Tahlia was no single mother, she was part of a team, a piece to a whole only completed by her mate and husband. How was she ever going to do this when she was so broken? She felt more like an unfit mother than she ever had in her life. 

A new voice addressed her, one that belonged to her eldest daughter. She must have been close from the sound of it, but Tahlia paid her no mind. She was fully devoted to the pain that wracked her weakening frame, the helplessness and defeat that she felt consuming her mind, the emptiness that filled in the cracks. Another voice - now her youngest daughter - joined Anais's encouragement, but still the birthing mother could not be pulled away. The pain was at its peak now, and any second she was going to give birth to the first of her last litter no matter how she felt about the matter. 
 

As far as the babe knew his life was simply one of warmth and the comforting pressure of his mothers internal embrace. He was safe, though sustenance could've been more forthcoming the pup hardly stirred within Tahlia as he grew. But today was the day all that changed, the world he knew shifting around him as he was manipulated into the outside world. A place where a lack of one wolf's presence didn't bother him yet. All his mind knew was that it was cold and he wanted to be warm even as he was cleaned off. There was a want to be without hunger. He was shifted next to his mothers stomach where his maw would latch on to feed, the one final pup born to Bane and Tahlia oblivious to the recent loss of the one called father. Though deaf, the word 'Espirit' would be what he would respond later in life. And as he drank his fill Espirit would wiggle his way with all his strength between his mothers lower chest and forelegs, warmth surrounding him again as Espirit quickly fell asleep.

Could her family not have a break? Lior would give a whine as she reached the den, quickly shuffling over to the dried plants. Hopefully their leaves would still have enough potency to be useful -- they had to be! She was no skilled healer -- no expert in these things. She would snatch up as many of the brittle leaves as she could carry, her body tingling. What if something truly went wrong? What if this was where they lost their second parent? Lior tried to push the thought away, letting her legs do most of the work, carrying her from den to den. It seemed like time was just blurring by. Her heart was racing so fast.. The child would come back to her mother's side. Pain... Tahlia was in pain. She would shake some, moving to try to give the leaves to the fae. "Mom... you gotta eat these, okay?" She didn't even know if this was the right dose... if it would be too little... if they would work... nothing! Lior tried to breath, nosing the leaves closer to her single remaining parent. "Please be strong..." The girl whispered. "Hear Me Talk," 'Read My Thoughts.'

Table by:: Tealah

Walk | Talk | Think   She heard Lebrah's cry even from within the den and glanced toward the empty entryway nervously and was relieved a moment later when his nose peeked around the corner of it. Had her mother's crying frightened him? She could only assume it was what had upset him so, and why he was still presently whining there at the front of the den. Promising herself that she would tend to him later, after she had tended to her mother and future siblings, Anais redirected her attention back to the laboring Tahlia, wishing all over again that she could have been more helpful.  Lior arrived, to Anais's relief, though left shortly after, running off in pursuit of a plant that she suspected would do their mother some good. Unable to argue and grateful that her sister was willing to help, the grey and gold girl merely nodded as her sister raced off again, wishing her speed and luck in finding the necessary plant. Tahlia's pain seemed to be getting worse, which the nervous girl hoped meant her siblings were going to be born soon, and the sooner the better. It was difficult to watch, especially with nothing to do but offer words of encouragement that she was not altogether sure were even being heard at this point. Let it be quick, she hoped, and hoped Lior could be quicker.  Thankfully Lior did return in time, offering the plants that at first went ignored by Tahlia but that she eventually ate. With Lior there beside her, Anais watched her mother continue to struggle until a little pup was produced. She stared in surprise at the pup at first, unable to remember even Lior, the tiniest of their bunch, being so little. But it took his baby cries to finally make her realize that Tahlia was not acting. With the first pup delivered, she had fallen still, apparently exhausted from her efforts, and showed no concern for the little life that begged for her attention. Anais turned worrisome eyes upon Lior, feeling anxious, before she stepped up to intercede, cleaning the pup to the best of her inexperienced abilities before nudging him toward her mother's stomach. He took to Tahlia quickly, another relief to the fretful older sister, but still Tahlia did not budge. Bad signs, she knew, but what was there to do about it?  Instead, she waited, watched, half expecting the whole process to begin again with the birth of another pup, but no more came. Glancing at the single tiny pup of his litter, Anais supposed this was it. Their final sibling. "Another brother," she muttered quietly, actually managing to smile a little as she considered it. Despite his mother having so little motivation for life, he appeared well, moving about as she expected a pup would and with Tahlia already beginning to drift into a doze he appeared to do the same there against her warm side. "I think we can let them sleep. We can check back in a little while," she murmured in a quiet whisper to Lior at her side, and turning she stepped from the den to glance reassuringly at her brother before moving to comfort Lebrah and guide him back toward their own den, where they would not rouse the slumbering mother and son.  -Exit Anais and end thread-