Slowly but surely the warrior made his return to the northern pack. Head hung low in a dejected state and tail was limp. His body portrayed failure in every way shape and form, and it was obvious the brute was exhausted. Leaving the pack for that long and searching for the killer of Asheni had been a waste. He'd left his new family behind and had selfishly gone ahead of Gargoyle and any of the others to track him down in the storm. He'd lost a few pounds, and his winter coat had already come in hiding what would be skin and bones. He'd put everything he had to finding the male without killing himself in the process, and all in vain. Nothing had come up and he was forced to return home. He couldn't stay away any longer. The tug on his heart strings has slowly brought him to Glaciem. The pain of missing his family was too much. He did indeed want to see the two kids he'd barely seen since they were born. And his mate. He only had limited time left with her. He could feel it. He himself would eventually reach an age and he needed to spend all the time he could with them. He would continue the search for his best friends killer another time, when he had a level head. Over the border he went and anything and everything else was ignored as he headed straight to their den. He was hoping she was in there. If he was lucky she would be there with the kids. Eventually he would arrive and his head peered around the lip of the cave to peer into the den with tired eyes hoping to see her there. [ooc: Sorry for the shortness. I had muse earlier, and then it disappeared. I just wanted to get this up. I gave you the option of her being there, or she could come back to the den and find him, or totally be in another location and he could eventually find her :3] Speech,

I met an old man, dying on a train, No more destination, No more pain He said, "One thing before I graduate:" ~*~ The Autumn in the North was coming to it's dramatic closure. Every night seemed colder, ever snow fall seemed heavier, and every day was getting darker and darker. There would soon be a time when the sun only came above the horizon for a few hours, and the rest of the 'day' would be spent in all the stary darkness of night. Not that it made much difference to the wolves. If anything, Crusade had come to enjoy the darkness - for only in the gloom could the vibrant dance of the Northern Lights be seen. Goodness knew, she needed all the beauty she could find these days. Her joys and sorrows always came in tandem; the birth of her first living children was accompanied by the slaughter of her best and closest friend. At this point, she oughtn't to be surprised any longer. Perhaps she ought to long ago have completely walled off and shielded herself from emotions - much like Cifer had once said he'd half unconsciously learned to do. But no that wasn't her way. She would always be soft of heart and strong of character. All the same, it's likely the old wolf would've let herself slip off into numbness had she not had a bouncing bunch of lovelies that needed her heart, mind, eye, ears and belly fur to snuggle into. Bless all the darling little souls born in Glaciem this year, they were the only true joy in what no doubt would be Crusade's last year or two. The Timber cross lay in the great pack cave on this day, her creamy belly pressed to the cool stone, her ivory and dusken fur ruffled by the winds which danced in through the mouth of the pack's lair. The nice thing about all the mothers having pups at once was that there was always someone to help out, and they were each able to take the rest they needed. Crusade was napping away this Autumn evening, when her ear twitched. The sound of pawsteps awoke her from her doze. For they were not just any pawsteps. The old girl's head snapped up at once and her remaining eye trained on the entrance. Could it be? "Cifer!" she gasped quietly, her voice all relief and happiness. In hardly a blink's time she was up and cappering towards her returned mate. Her creamy paws beat stiff but soft upon the cave floor and she pulled up without crashing into him this time. They knew eachother well enough to appreciate eachother's warrior gaze. At a glance he would be able to read the glossy, thick coat, fine, full stomach and weary gaze of a healthy, but busy mother. And in her glance, Crusade was able to see the trials her dear male had been through. He hadn't found his query, that much was cetain by the lack of blood and wounds, but, perhaps selfishly, Crusade was thankful for that. She still needed her mate, and their pups needed their father. The pair of them were getting a bit old to pull of the miraculous recoveries of their youth. Crusade tapped her grey nose to Cifer's little dot of coal, and then brushed her face against his, letting her paws carry her close enough til she imagined she could feel his poor wounded heart against hers. She hadn't been in Glaciem when Asheni had been killed. She'd had her own self-righteous mission she'd been attending to in Amenti - so she was the last one to judge Cifer for being gone so long. She only wished she could've been there in the moment of discovery to be there for him. "Thank the Creator, the soldier has returned" She pulled back just long enough to stare into those lovely emerald eyes of his. "...Oh my dear... I've missed you so." ~*~ "Never let your Fear decide your Fate"

Cifer hadn't expected her to be in the den, but it was a pleasant surprise when she gasped his name and then rushed to meet him. Her nose pressed against him for a brief moment before she drew close and Cifer closed the distance between them. He embraced her like it had been years since they had seen one another. The male had been gone for far too long. It'd been a justified reason, but a selfish one. He should have never left in the first place. Would she hold it against him? More importantly would his kids hold it against him? He'd left when he should have been taking the time to get familiar with them. Already he felt as though he was failing as a parent. Eyes examined her for a moment as a worried look crossed his eyes. They roved her body looking for any more recent wounds or anything that might have recently marred her. To his relief he found nothing. She looked healthy and well and the scent of their kids was almost overwhelming. At least all three seemed to be alive and well along with her. Where were they? It would be a question he would ask at a later time. "I've missed you too. I'm sorry. I should have never left. I couldn't find him." He hated admitting his failure. Recently it seemed as though he couldn't accomplish much. To him failure wasn't much of an option and half of him wanted to get back out there and look again. Walk until he could walk no more. Search until there was no place left for the bastard to hide, but the other half of him told him to stay here. In the end the call of family would win. He only had so long left. He couldn't go out and find the monster and fight him. The risk of him getting killed was high. He was aging, getting weaker, and couldn't recover as quickly from wounds. It would be a suicide mission. He had the obligation of staying with his family until they days he and Crusade died. He had to make sure he was there and be a good parent. He wouldn't abandon them like his parents had. "How are the kids? And yourself? He was almost speechless. After so long of not seeing her he felt ashamed for his actions. It was almost awkward. Hesitant eyes strove to meet hers. He had missed her and the others a lot. Her and the kids most of all. [ooc: and sudden lack of muse. I'm surprised I got this far with it. :/ Sorry Clash] Speech,

I met an old man, dying on a train, No more destination, No more pain He said, "One thing before I graduate:" ~*~ Oh, if only she could always feel how she did when she was here beside Cifer. For this one blissful moment, all the rest didn't matter, she had him, he had her, and that was enough. Two old soldiers who'd been through a life time of war, and silently understood what the other felt. It was the closet thing to peace she'd ever known. Under his gaze of emerald, she could have no secrets. She could have no regrets - despite everything else she might've done, she'd made one good choice in her life. "-I'm sorry. I should never have left," she heard him murmur. "Cifer, you don't have to make any apologies to me." She said, at once calm and sincere. "You're here and that's what matters." An understatement. She didn't have to tell him how happy she was. In fact, she was more than happy. She'd missed him before, now, with his return, she realized exactly how much. The sort to hide and ignore pain, now that she saw it passing Crusade could see how much there really was of it. "I couldn't find him." Crusade half felt like snorting. "I won't allow you to think that that makes you any less of the warrior and hero you are." It was clipped and to the point, almost said in a half smirk, but it was as close to sweet-talking as she normally got. Cifer would understand that, she was in earnest - she wanted him all here, not a half hearted, defeated old man. And to his other questions, came another question just as earnest. "The children are fine, dear. Little Crucible is a quiet sort and stays to herself, but the boys are the boldest things I've ever seen. I can barely keep my eyes on them. But they are quite well- and- Myself?" Her hesitance betrayed the truth quicker than her tongue ever could. Her gaze faltered a bit and it took a sigh and a shift of shoulders to straighten herself out. Then, with a cock of the head to better fix her eye on the male, "I feel rather old." It was a simple, statement. A tad weary, but accepting, and stronger because of it. And it was truth. "I'm ten, Cifer. Most wolves don't make it this far, even if they die natural." She gave a swish of the tail. "It's not as though my paws are on death's doorstep. No, I'm still a good ways from gone... but I'm a long way off from what I once would've considered living." It was all said so easily, so matter-of-factly. Those big shoulders shifted in a shrug. "You and the pups, and the other packmates, you make my life worth living, even after my warriors days are past. I suppose, if I have a point, it's that I need. I need you quite terribly." Despite whatever strength remained in her stance and voice, if Cifer was looking for a time to kiss his mate, this was it. ~*~ "Never let your Fear decide your Fate"

Her words did little to soothe him. He had failed in his mission. He'd also failed in staying home with his family and being the father and mate he should have. Sure, he was a warrior, and he may have been a hero in her eyes, but none of it mattered when home was where he should have been. It wouldn't erase any of his guilt, none of her words would and she would know it, but it at least put his mind at rest knowing she would not hold it against him. His body relaxed and he took a seat in front of her holding her gaze. A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips as she told him of their children's well being. He could only imagine how the boys were. He hadn't really been around long enough to see how far adventure would pull to them, but he was sure to certainly see more of it. And his little girl, she sounded almost like himself. Quiet and kept to herself. At least one of the children hadn't been too much of a burden on Crusade. "They sound like a handful. At least now I'm here to keep an eye on them with you." Hearing about how she was feeling though, well it tore a hole into him. He'd almost forgotten her age. How could he forget she was ten. He himself was about to turn eight. An elder in the packs eyes. It was almost terrifying. That and he would lose her eventually. He only had a limited amount of time with his family and so far it was being wasted. A worried look flashed briefly in his emerald gaze as he shifted nervously on his paws. He didn't like thinking about it. Each held each other's hearts, but the thought of her leaving before him was heart breaking. Now that he'd found the love of his life and had a family he didn't want it to be broken apart. No matter how confident she was of how old she would grow to become, it didn't defeat the purpose that he didn't have long with her. He himself wouldn't last forever either. Her words continued the guilt trip inside of him. The man moved closer to her and pressed his face against hers staring into her one good eye with his green gaze. A serious yet anxious look was given. "I promise. I swear. I'm not leaving again. I mean it. I'm here for you." It was all he could do, promise that he wouldn't leave. He owed it to her. At least he felt like he did. He gave her a soft lick on the muzzle, a kiss, almost as if he was sealing the promise, before breaking away. He knew she would believe him. They'd been through too much not to trust him now. He would stand b his word. As much as it killed him he would remain in Glaciem. He'd still have vengeance for his best friend's killer, but he'd let Gargoyle and the others handle the tracking. Perhaps though, they would offer him the final kill if given the chance. Speech,

~*~ Cross walked out into the light of the snowy day. Bright and beautiful it was, without a speck of cloud in the winter sky, that, for so long had been clouded with storm clouds of a size that only the north winds can produce. He was finally getting outside again. Well, finally for him. That meant... 24 hours? Way too long for a little pup. Cross didn't like complaining, so mostly he'd been sulking on the stones, dreaming up all the impossible adventures he'd have as soon as he had his littermates were given the all clear. To his surprise he'd dozed off, and when he awoke, his mother was gone. Cross gave his siblings a whisk with his tail. Then up he came to his little black paws (which were actually rather big for a cub his age) and off he went, half running, half waddling to the edge of the pack cave. He was still rather potbellied from milk and first meats, but it didn't matter to him if his belly completely dragged on the snow - he just wanted to be out in it. All other adventures were pushed aside though, when he saw the wolf standing there with his mom. "Dad!" he squealed "You're back!" He leapt from the stone lip of the cave.... and did a belly flop straight down into a snowdrift. ~*~

I met an old man, dying on a train, No more destination, No more pain He said, "One thing before I graduate:" ~*~ "I promise. I swear. I'm not leaving again. I mean it. I'm here for you." Would he ever know how realized she was too hear that? How much it put her soul to rest? She knew her mate - his word was his bond. He would stay, and their family would be once more what it ought to be. And no, it wouldn't be easy. When in the history of either's life had it ever been easy? But so long as they were together, they'd make it through. As if to cement that in her mind, Crusade was given a loving lick. A little rumble came from the she-wolf's chest. Half sigh, half whine, and she leaned into him again, her eye closing. Then came the sounds of little pattering pawpads, and then Cross's shout of delight. He was a funny child - sometimes going for days on end without saying a word and then suddenly squealing a hello or spouting out some lecture to his siblings on what it meant to be a 'big wolf'. For all that though, he was still just a pup - as his face plant into the bottom of a snowbank proved quite nicely. "Oh Cross," she sighed with a smile and a shake of her head. She gave Cifer a sideways look that rather clearly said 'This is your first born son, dear. He gets it from your side of the family.' ~*~ "Never let your Fear decide your Fate"

Cifer's head turned as the sound of uneven pawsteps could be heard. A soft smile tugged at his lips as Cross came through the cave. A gasp of surprise was given and the child rap through the cave and belly flopped right into a snow drift. It brought a chuckle from his larynx. An ear flicked in Crusade's direction as she watched her son. Their son. And then gave him a glance that clearly stated it was from his side of the family. It was unknown cause he'd never met any of his family, but it wouldn't have surprised him. Emerald eyes gazed back at her with a smirk. His look argued with hers. It was from her side of the family. He could remember when Gargoyle was like that. He rose to his paws and padded over to his kid. A perfect mixture between him and Crusade. He lowered himself to Cross' level and placed his head against the stone offering him a smile. It'd been a while since he'd seen them. They'd gotten so big. It was obvious they were going to outgrow him. "Hey kiddo. Yeah I'm back. I'm staying this time. You've gotten big. Where's Creed and Crucible?" He was eager to see his other two pups. He was aware his daughter was scarce and avoided most interactions, but surely she would want to see her father. Creed however, if he was anything like Crusade described, he would be here in no time. [ooc: I'm sorry this is so crappy] Speech,

Oh and all those things you dreamed of the visions that you saw Well the time is drawing near now, It's yours to claim it all: ~*~ (ooc: continutiy note, for anyone reading, Crucible is actually a boy x3 don't ask) A gasping came from the snow drift. Cross was climbing his way out, well more 'swimming' than climbing. Big black paws paddled his way through the packed white flurries up to the top of the snowbank. The drift muffled his father's words a bit, but he heard the gist. "Cruci's inside, but I think Creed went out exploring again." He jumped. "Whoops." His eyes snaked guiltily up towards his mother. "I.... wasn't supposed to say that." He chuckled nervously, which came out as a sort of squeak. Eventually he'd get a deep voice, probably by the time he was only a year, but for now he was still a puppy with a baby's voice. Big green eyes nearly popped out out of his head when he saw how roughed up his Pops looked. A distraction and a curiosity! "Did you catch the bad guy, Dad? Did you kill 'im dead?" Cross's brow was wrinkled and a little snarl was curling up, but he was just a boy thinking of bedtime tales. All of what had happened was horrible. But it was hard to connect with at such a young age. It was half story telling to him, half a game, but it passed as reality for all that he knew. And it was dangerous and exciting! Though he was frowning, his tail was wagging furiously. He wanted to hear how his dad was a hero! ~*~ Son of Man, look to the skies Lift your spirit, set it free One day you'll walk tall with pride Son of Man a man in time You'll be

I met an old man, dying on a train, No more destination, No more pain He said, "One thing before I graduate:" ~*~ (ooc: hope you don't mind me using Crucible as a plot devise ;) he always seems to be out anyway) She just couldn't catch a break, could she? One moment Cifer is finally returning, and the next, one of her other babies has decided to go trasping off through a countryside infested with moose, bears and wild cats. Perfect. The truth was, she ought to have been prepared for this. She was a wanderer herself. She'd left the nest as soon as she stopped stumbling over her own paws. But this was different. This was her family. And with the recent reminder of the dangers surrounding them (not to mention old age adding some worry) she was stern in punishing her pups when she caught them after a sneak out. She sighed. "What with all the packmates and other litters, they're usually supervised by someone or other,-" she shook her head. "But our children have turned out to be very good at slipping through the nets." Crafty little things. She was about to say more, but then Cross spoke up. Her gaze saddened a little, but she didn't bother trying to explain. He was asking his father, and Cifer was perfectly able to take care of himself. But, just in case, Crusade snuggled her nose into his cheek fur. "I really must find that little boy of ours. Do you want to rest up in the cave with Cross?.." Or would he want to come with her? She didn't want to ask it aloud, it would put pressure on the poor male after he'd traveled for so long. No doubt he wanted to follow Cross into the pack cave and get himself some sleep. But then... he could also have rest out in the sun and snow after they'd captured Creed. Her gaze lingered on him questioningly. It was up to the male. ~*~ "Never let your Fear decide your Fate"