Only If You Knew
After a couple minutes, he lifted his head and focused on the clouds. His parents were deceased, but he knew they were looking out for him, and he smiled, happiness in his eyes as he thought about the happy things that he had had with his parents before he had to leave his pack. The wind blew past him, and he closed his eyes, smelling the cool and refreshing fragrance of the wind.
Now as she approached the snow covered ground she felt only guilt. She had ran, the call for war had made her turn tail and run. She couldn’t do it, couldn’t look at those injured wolves and know all the horror they had inflicted and then be asked to heal them… more than that she couldn’t refuse. So instead she had fled, hid away cowering in fear that the silver queen would track her down and that the next example would be her… she’d walk away with a missing eye, if she walked away at all.
If she hadn’t run though… well then maybe she’d know where her family was. She refused to give up on them, it was a stubborn naiveté that didn’t allow her to ever give up on them, even when she should. Her father for instance, she would allow him into her life every time he asked, no matter how many times he left without warning; and here despite the seemingly insurmountable evidence that her family wasn’t looking for her like she was she refused to believe it was true.
Petite golden paws carried her through the snow, numb to the chill. In fact she was just numb, she registered a maroon shape, lupine in appearance and though she caught his scent and subconsciously filed it away she trudged on right past him. Even if her mother were to pop up right now, it seemed likely she’d not recognize her daughter, the golden child that always made time to meet new wolves and make new friends… and now she ignored strangers, she had tried asking if anyone had seen her family months ago… it wasn’t worth the disappointment any more.
Tripping on an unseen dip in the ground the tiny girl plunged forwards into the thin layer of white, and there she lay the hopelessness welling up inside her. Freya curled in upon herself, a soft whine lifting from her lips.
He approached her, his paws trudging through the snow-barren landscape, his paws crunching on the hard snow and gave a friendly smile. "Sorry to be bothering you right now, but you seem to be depressed. May I ask why you seem so down?" He sat down beside her, his tail wrapping around him as he turned to meet where her head was. "If there is any way that I can help, I can definitely try my hardest to help you whenever or however I can."
She had always known the world to be a cruel place. It only took a look at her father to know there were darker forces at work against them… but she had always assumed that things would work themselves out. They always had hadn’t they? Her father returned on occasion and her mother had even brought new life into the world, a new sister for Freya to look out for…
But that was all taken from her and she wasn’t sure quite where she was going… or even who she was without them.
These thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice. Slowly she opened her eyes and peered up at the wolf she had passed only moments earlier. He was sitting so politely, tail tucked against his paws… Just as Maija’s always had; and his words were so kind… She fought against the liquid creeping at the corner of her eyes and… it spilled over. “I can’t-“ She began, struggling to form words. “I can’t- find them…” Freya sobbed into the ground, tiny form shaking as she finally allowed herself to cry; here in front of a stranger.
"Sometimes things happen for a reason. Though we sometimes do not know what that reason means, you will always find out in the end," he explained, bringing his head down and looking into her closed audets. "Remember that you are never alone, even though it may seem that way at times. Besides, you seem too kind to be crying right now. Keep your chin held high and a smile on your face," he explained, giving a friendly smile at her. He had cried many times after losing his family, for he understood the sadness and pain that the woman was feeling.
He spoke again and though a part of her could respect the validity of his words she was too raw, too hurt to accept what he was saying. It was not what she wanted to hear. She buried her face into the ground. “It’s not fair!” Came her muffled reply, and there was a hint of bitterness to her tone though if she was frustrated with herself or her family she wasn’t sure… maybe she was just fed up with the world shitting on them.
Still his words where kind and as she pulled her face from the dirt and lay her head down on her paws she couldn’t stop the small sad smile that he had managed to pull out of her.
"I know how you feel. My Alpha had killed off my father for speaking his mind and what he had believed in. My mother and I fled and after a couple months of staying in a stone den away from the pack, she died from illness. I had been alone for two years, rarely having any contact with any other wolves. I learned everything that I know from experience and what worked for me and what did not." He gave a small sigh and looked to her before continuing, "I am sorry for what you are feeling, and I understand the sadness you have inside of you, but the best is to just let it all out. Holding in everything will make everything worse, and you will only hurt even more." He placed a paw upon her own, trying his best to show sympathy and reassurance for her.