Surreal Adravendi

She had come away from her lesson regarding the birds and the bees with Regulus hoping he had taken everything to heart. Now she wandered the plains, deep in thought, paws automatically following the old patrol routes. Her senses remained alert, part of the training Cormalin had drilled into her from the very beginning of her mentorship under him. She had taken her son’s words regarding the issue of Amalia, Athena and Falk, and his possible surrogacy as a donor to heart. She hated this. Hated that she had to feel this way. Why couldn’t Athena have been male? "Cén fáth go bhfuil sé seo cac a bheith chomh crua ..." The grumble came under her breath as her tail lashed irritably behind her. For Gods’ sake, it was a simple yes or no answer, but either way she went, she would hurt. If she said no, she would always wonder if Amalia would ever find another donor for the children she so sorely wanted. If she said yes? If she said yes, would she ever be able to stand being around Falk again, knowing that he had sired children with someone other than herself, even if that someone was family? Her paws fell onto the track that led up into Alsander’s old den, in its hillside overlook. She would be happy for Amalia, yes… But for herself? A leader must put all before herself, even if it means her own happiness. She had wrestled with this for a week, by now, and had lost sleep over it. Her haunches settled on the stony ledge outside the den. She’d been sleeping here since Falk had come to her with the proposition. Would he have asked, if he had known how upset she would be? He had asked only because Athena and Amalia were family. That was one of the only things saving him from being kicked out of Surreal’s life. She would never bar him from his children, no, but from herself, yes, she would have. The other was that she truly did love him. With all of her heart. Maybe this was why it hurt so very, very much. Mismatched blue and gold eyes scanned the plains below, while her thoughts continued to swirl and race, chasing their own tails in some places. She couldn’t think about this forever. The season only lasted so long. Finally, she sighed, tipping her head up and calling for her mate. The path up to this place was steep, and narrow, but he was, by now, familiar with every inch of the entire area, so far as she was aware. He would be fine getting up here. Walk ---- "Speak" ---- "Hear" ---- Think

Falk had been heavy hearted since his last conversation with his mate. He regretted ever bringing up the topic of Athena and Amalia at all, but he knew he would have regretted not asking Surreal as well. Either way he would have a regret, but he wasn't entirely sure which way would have bothered him more. He kept up hope that Surreal would come around and at the very least forgive him for asking her... he had no idea what to expect when it came to what answer she would give him. He had already decided that he wouldn't bring it up again. If she decided to just not answer him then he would take it. He just wanted her to come back to their den. Sleeping alone was not something he enjoyed. He had been trying to keep himself busy the best he could, which for him translated to working on his herb knowledge and trying his paw at a little hunting here and there. He was basically just avoiding moping around the den as much as possible. He was tracking the scent of a rabbit when Surreal's voice called him to her. His ears perked and he immediately forgot his hunt. He started making his way to her without hesitation and trying not to think about what she might want to tell him. He followed her voice and scent till he reached the trail that led up to her perch that she liked to occupy. Falk didn't like walking up the narrow trail, but he had gone up it before in his exploring and he could certainly do so again now. His steps were slow and careful, but eventually he finally got to the top with a relieved sigh. Using his mate's scent,  which so obviously reminded him that it was summer, as a guide he made his way to her side and gently brushed his muzzle against her shoulder. "You called?" he asked, his deep voice holding a quiet rumble of curiosity. Of course, being the man that he was he couldn't help where her scent made his mind go, but he wouldn't comment. He simply settled onto his haunches beside her with his ears perked toward her to listen, figuring that he had said plenty to dig himself a deep enough hole as it was. He didn't want to carve out his own tombstone as well. Speech Thought Others

Surreal Adravendi

He was prompt in his answer to her summons. It was only a few moments before she saw him crossing the Plains below, hif familiar russet form following her scent trail and her voice. She waited, outwardly patient, inwardly restless. It was often hard to think when her body was screaming for release. It was hell to sit still for long when her very core vibrated. Finally, she heard his sigh of relief as he crested the trail onto the ledge and came to settle beside her with the habitual brush of his muzzle to her shoulder. The touch sent fire racing down her spine, and the low growl that came out on its own wasn’t one of anger. She shifted away from him, knowing that if she stayed too close to him for too long, she would never be able to think clearly enough to say what she must. “Yes. I’ve come to a decision regarding Amalia and Athena… And you.” So hard to keep her voice steady for those words. Damned emotions were everywhere. She took a few seconds to gain control of the rampant emotions before gazing out over the Plains again. “Athena cannot stop searching for a brother. I want you to make that clear to her when you see her next. But if she has not found anyone to… to help Amalia…” So hard to breathe. Her eyes squeezed shut, teeth gritting. So hard to fucking breathe. “If she hasn’t found anyone before the end of the next three weeks, then I will… give my consent for you to help them. But never, ever again. Understand that I hold fidelity to the highest regard.” A shuddering breath hissed between her teeth. It was an intertwined mixture of anger, fear, and agonizing sadness, all fighting for supremacy in her gut, ripping their claws wantonly through her heart. “On another, related matter, I’ve decided not to have a litter this year. I want to get the pack up and running, and it would be best if I weren’t vulnerable in any way. I need to be able to fight if need be to protect our claim here.” She needed to be out there, sparring, showing herself to be strong and competent in a fight, which could help in discouraging others from Challenging for the pack, if they thought there was a possibility of losing. There was always a possibility of losing. “Also, I think Regulus may approach you soon to ask about the birds and the bees; for details only you males would be most aware of. You are a gentleman, so I trust that you will know how to tell him what to do to court a female properly.” Finally, a thread of humor wormed its way into the ball of tension in her chest, enough that a smile was hinted at in her voice. Walk ---- "Speak" ---- "Hear" ---- Think

Falk would sit in silence while Surreal gave her decision regarding the whole Amalia and Athena debacle. He was honestly shocked by her decision. He had fully expected her to say no, but he had to remind himself just how important family was to her. That was a common thing between them, their love for family. It had probably been the one thing, besides their love for eachother, that had kept them together through their toughest trials- also known as his hard headed stupidity. Neither of them wanted their children to be without their family. He nodded in understanding and continued to listen. Again, he was surprised by her words when she said she had decided to not have a litter this year. He couldn't help but feel the slightest bit disappointed, but he did understand and ultimately it was Surreal's decision. The pack had been a long time in the making and he couldn't exactly help her in that endeavor very much. He could be moral support and that was about it... which was still a fact that stung his already fractured pride. Suddenly she mentioned his oldest son coming to him about the birds and the bees and the thought caught him so off guard that he couldn't help the shocked look that came across his face and he sputtered with surprise. "Oh gods, I hadn't even thought about him being old enough for that... And Zuriel in her first... oooooooh boy." It was a weird feeling, thinking about the fact that his first litter was now getting old enough to be looking for mates of their own. It make him feel nervous and proud and old all at once. Thinking about Zuriel being in her first heat and just knowing what it was like from a male's perspective being around a woman in heat... it made him a whole different kind of nervous. "Our babies are growing up," he commented with a sigh and a small smile. It was a happy and sad moment all at once. It took all of his self control not to lean over to nuzzle Surreal, but he knew he shouldn't given her reaction to his touch before. He wasn't entirely sure what all went in to that reaction, but he would do his best not to push her buttons where he could. Lord knew he was in plenty of trouble as it was. Speech Thought Others

Surreal Adravendi

It was amusing how easily he was bowled over by her warning that Regulus would possibly come to him to ask about birds and bees things only males would fully understand. A sharp laugh barked from Surreal’s jaws as he connected the dots and came to the realization that Zuriel was also going to hit two at the same time, and would experience her first heat. “I have warned him to stay upwind of her until winter.” She remarked dryly as she shifted to sit straight, turning her eyes to scan the plains again. The bright red form of Regulus crossed the field below; clearly he was on the hunt, from the way he meandered with his head down. Falk’s sighed observation as answered with a faint smile as she watched Regulus pause at the edge of a wooded area, one leg lifting before he lunged and flushed the deer he’d been tracking from the bushes. “They are. Regulus will be a fine King when his time comes.” Her gaze shifted to Falk as Regulus and the deer passed beyond her range of sight. “There will be more… Just not this year.” The words were soft, hesitant. Would she be able to enjoy him if he did indeed have to donate his willing seed to Amalia? Would she be able to stand knowing that he would have children from another woman, even if that woman was her niece? Time would only tell, one way or another. And perhaps Athena would indeed manage to find someone else who was willing. Walk ---- "Speak" ---- "Hear" ---- Think

It was hard to imagine the little ball of red fluff he remembered as a King. The last visual memories he had of his oldest children was them still as little more than pups. To think of those pups as adults was mind boggling. And to think that their youngest would soon be a year old... And he would never be able to actually see them. He thought about that fact way more often than he should and every time it crossed his mind it broke his heart. There was nothing he could do to fix it and maybe that was the hardest part for him to accept. He always thought he would be able to control his own destiny, but his destiny controling had landed him blind and on thin ice with his mate. When Surreal stated that there would be more children eventually it made him feel a strange mix of joy and dread. He loved his children more than his own life and perhaps even more than Surreal and absolutely wanted more. However, thinking about the fact that there would be even more lives under their care that he wouldn't be able to really protect, more children that he would never see, more ears that would have to find out how their father had failed and had lost his sight in the process... It was a hard thing to accept. He would simply nod in understanding to her statement. These were all thoughts that he would have to come to terms with and if he couldn't they would just be thoughts to handle another time. They had plenty to think about right now without discussing something so far in the future. "If this whole thing with Amalia and Athena really bothers you all you have to do is tell me not to do it," he commented after the silence had stretched on for a few moments between them. "I only brought it up because I wanted to help them. I never meant to hurt or upset you with it. I don't feel like that towards anyone else, I never have and I never will. I wouldn't even consider it if it wasn't our family and they didn't sincerely want children so badly." His voice was a soft, sincere rumble. He almost hated to bring it back up again, but he didn't want anything else to come between them and once it was done there was no going back. He had to make sure that she was sure. Speech Thought Others

Surreal Adravendi

Her eyes scanned the Plains below as Falk nodded. His next words brought her eyes to his face, and she listened. Yes, she knew everything he said was the truth. She knew he didn’t feel anything for anyone other than her. She knew he would refuse to help at the drop of her paw. But would she ever be able to forgive herself knowing that Amalia wanted children and had been denied because of her own selfishness? She shook her head slowly, before answering gently. “I care for my family. My niece wants children. Family is deeply important to the Adravendis. Children are even more important. I have already made my decision, Falk. Don’t make me second guess it…” She shifted to settle upon her stomach, chin lowering to hang just on the edge of the ridge between her paws. Now that the decision was made, she felt exhausted. The whole thing was emotionally taxing to her, both heart and mind. A low sigh brushed past her lips. “That’s all I needed, Love. You can go back down if you wish. I know you don’t like this area as much.” She wasn’t angry with him… Had never really been angry with him exactly. It was the whole thing, the whole predicament. It was tiring, being so confused and upset; but at least she had made the decision. Walk ---- "Speak" ---- "Hear" ---- Think

Falk gave a simple nod of understanding when Surreal replied to his worries over her decision. He wasn't entirely sure that he could go through with it, even with Surreal's blessing, but he wouldn't question her again either way. He decided that only time would tell and he would just have to wait and see if Athena came back to him again. He was so split on his opinion of it now after Surreal's reaction to the request. But, he cared deeply for their family as well and he agreed to the sentiment that children were incredibly important. He listened to the sound of her body moving as she went to lay down and when she said he could go he was actually kind of sad. This was the first time in a while that they had really spoken. Besides that it was incredibly hard to keep his mind from wandering to a different topic with her being in heat and all. He just had to remind himself again that there wasn't going to be any pups this year... But that didn't make him not want her or want to spend time with her at the very least. "I'll brave the cliff to be here with you. Unless you want me to go." Speech Thought Others