ardent

Beneath her skin[PRIVATE]



Newt


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04-11-2013, 02:04 AM
#6




A moment, a pass of time, a shade of skin, and it brought her so much relief. To say the role of guardian was taking it?s toll on her was an understatement. She had never thought her destiny would have been to become a queen. Always before she had been a pawn. He came into her mind and for a moment the pain of loss didn?t hurt her. Was she moving on? Something sentimental seemed to be filling her and it was an alien emotion. She knew nothing of affection by other means then through violence. Perhaps it was the hormones dancing around in her head. Was it making her think that maybe, if she cared enough, this could be real. They could be real. Would she ever ask for monogamy? She didn?t think so. Though it was traditional for wolves to mate for live, at least the alpha pair, she was secure in herself and her abilities not to hound her claimed mate from taking over females to bed. Already he had done so with Secret and yet she had not. Perhaps it was just in her nature to be monogamous. She had no clue as she had never had a mate or pups before.

Her ears fell back as she panted heavily. The travel was exhausting but she was determined to make it to the pool, for the sake of her unborn pups. What the damage of the heat could do to them was unbeknownst to her. Soon the rich aroma of water pulled into her nose and she closed her eyes with a shudder. Was she imagining it? Were the flowers speaking of neither things that were there nor here? She shook her head, no her senses wouldn?t lie would they? She eyed her mate for a moment and she couldn?t help the nip that came to his side. She needed to taste blood. To remember him, she never wanted to forget him again. Blood would tell and she would remember. It?s how she remembered Zara, yes he had bled her that night but she had let him. She hadn?t allowed her own fangs to taste him. She only nicked him a little, just enough for a small drop of blood to grace her tongue, and she sighed. She looked at him with no signs of apology. She had become his willingly. If she had fought him, then he would have been more bloody and broken then he could have imagined.

?Blood is like a map for me.? she explained, she wouldn?t feel guilty for the nip. It was a sign of affection for her. However, she felt an explanation would be good as they continued towards the aroma of water. ?It tells me who is with me, Reminds me of them, and tells me that they are not to be forgotten.? She said with a sigh. She was forgetting less and less these days. Was it a side affect of her pregnancy? What ever the reason was she was enjoying keeping her mind at ease. She still had her moments but she never truly remembered them. ?I forget. The sun is the sun and not a wall of light pushing the darkness away. That the ground is solid and not broken if you walk just right and find the side of tomorrow. I live between two worlds. Not that anyone can see but me but they are there none the less and only my master can keep me from losing myself from the other side.? She mused, Lothair had kept her sane for so long. She had almost loved him. She missed him but not the same reason a woman misses a man. She missed her strength and adoration and feeling of purpose. Perhaps that?s why she no longer missed him. She had them all now and all on her own. Well, not on her own but she continued to keep her mind sane all on her own.

OOC: sorry for the nip, it just kind of came to me xD newt said DO it. if you have any objections let me know and I'll edit it.