-2 ”At the last second before possible impact...” It's been decided that moves like this are powerplaying, because you're making assumptions about your opponent. (-so guilty-)
-2 “...wishing to sink his teeth into that point and rip his head away...” The ripping away part is dependent on Eridanus getting a bite.
10 for defenses.
+1 for each seen to max of 10.
7 for attack.
+2 for shoulder throw
+3 for bite
+2 for stomp
+0 for scratch
10 for injuries.
First round.
Eridanus' round one total: 43/50
Roselin: 2 for clarity:
-1 “His shoulder throw would graze over and glance off the edge of the front portion of her right shoulder, just off of her Scapula...” Did she take damage from this? If not I think I'd still like an explanation as to why not, that way I know including it wasn't simply forgotten.
-2 The bite to her elbow confused me a bit. You stated Eridanus got a bite, but since Roselin is trying to stop her opponent from tearing away and that's a counter I had to ask for help on this. We decided that damage should have been taken from the bite itself but further damage, damage from the opponent possibly pulling away, could/should be left pending. So I'm docking your points for not stating damage to the bite.
-2 “With her luck, however, wolves paws weren't entirely that...fragile, and while the crushing weight did hurt there was no twisting, there was no spraining.” You listed what damage she didn't take, but what about the damage she did take? XD Any bruising?
-2 I'm having a hard time picturing her paw swipe and chest slam. If they're perpendicular to one another with her right paw pretty much unmoved from when they were face to face, how can she reach his left hind leg with her forefoot? Or her chest to his shoulder/side?
-1 “...hoping to snake it around his back left leg...” Where on his back left leg? It's a fairly large area
6 for powerplaying.
-2 ”...she leapt forward, aiding him in clearing the ten feet of distance.” Even though you're writing a reaction to what Eridanus is doing this is still technically a powerplay.
-2 “It took only a few steps before she was right on him...” Same as above
5 for defenses.
0 “...her head and chin snapping low...” How low? Level with her spine? Lower? Is she tucking her chin?
0 “...her bared lips quirked into a smirk...”
+1 “Ears pulled back...”
0 “...just as she shifted her paws...” What does this accomplish? Is she widening her stance or just being antsy?
+1 “Her fur would piloerect...”
0 “Tail would lash to show her distaste before raising in dominance...” Besides showing dominance I'm not sure this would aid her in any way.
+1 “...claws dug into the earth...”
+1 “...balance equally distributed to four grounded paws...”
+1 “...tail out like a rudder...”
7 for attack.
+3 for bite
+1 for grip
+1 for paw swipe
+2 for chest slam
10 for injuries.
First round.
Roselin's round one total: 30/50
ROUND TWO
Eridanus: 8 for clarity:
-2 “..seeking to shove the whole of his weight into her right side ribcage...” Where on her rib cage? That's a pretty big area
4 for powerplaying.
-2 “Blood wet his tongue as his teeth sank into their intended target and came away with his ripping motion.” Roselin countered the ripping away part so it would need to be attempted.
-3 “...seeking to rip free of his opponent’s jaws, turning moderate puncture wounds into severe lacerations as her teeth tore into his flesh.” This needed to have been attempted.
-1 “The snaking right forepaw of his opponent...” It was Roselin's left forefoot
10 for defenses.
+1 for each seen to max of 10.
6 for attack.
+3 for bite
+1 for grip
+2 for shove
6 for injuries.
-1 for moderate bruising to shoulder
-2 for moderate puncture wounds to scruff
-1 for minor bruising to hip
Eridanus' round two total: 34/50
Roselin: 5 for clarity:
-2 “She'd worry over the bruise later.” Where did his strike land? What's the severity of the bruise?
-3 “During this her right paw would thrust forward in hopes of stomping on his own right...” Which right to which right?
8 for powerplaying.
-2 “...and suddenly twist to the left in hopes of spraining or twisting his toes painfully.” The twist is dependent on her stomp successfully making contact.
9 for defenses.
+1 for each seen to max of 10.
-1 for not redistributing weight after lifting foot
6 for attack.
+3 for bite
+1 for maim attempt
+2 for stomp
7 for injuries.
0 for minor scratches in between toes (damage decided by opponent)
-1 for moderate bruising to exterior of left shoulder (placement and severity decided by judge)
-2 for moderate bite wound to front of right shoulder (placement decided by judge)
Roselin's round two total: 35/50
Totals:
ERIDANUS: 77/100 ROSELIN: 65/100
And the winner is...
ERIDANUS! Roselin must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.
Damage:
Eridanus:
Bruising – 3 ooc days to heal
Bite wound – 2 ooc weeks to heal
Roselin:
Scratches – 2 ooc days to heal
Bruising – 3 ooc days to heal
Bite wound – 2 ooc weeks to heal
Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
For both: I'm SO SORRY this took me so long guys! SO SORRY :c
