I'm not the same as yesterday

A feeble chestnut head lifted exhaustedly through the den's entrance, his electric gaze greeted energetically by the harsh rays. Perhaps a smile would be added to his complexion if it wasn't for the throaty cough that interrupted his sulking. Though it was a seemingly pleasant summer's morning accompanied with a long night's sleep, he remained to his dismay, sick. With his current state, he was unfit for any usual and mandatory pack happenings, especially with the most recent hunt that had left him feeling drunk on guilt. First he had been falling behind because of the lack of motivation, now an illness had claimed his youthful body. Was he ever going to catch up with his education? Was he ever going to rise through the ranks like he had always dreamed to do? Oh, what was the point anymore? He was too depressed to even think about it. His optimism? Gone. Was he even part of Abaven? A true Abaven member didn't fall inactive with their roles and responsibilities...twice. Maybe he should just leave and never show his face again, join his rogue brother in the land of the lone. They were all such frightening demands that continuously scoured his thoughts like vultures, stressing and poisoning his mind. He shouldn't have to face such decisions and worries; if only he lived a perfect life free of any mental plagues.