A fool told me clarity beats serenity

Shaye had never felt more alone in her life, somewhere along the way she had lost hold of who her family was but it never seemed to have mattered. Rhythm was the number person in her life, her hero, the one person she would always speak about and hold above the rest. Even when her best friend vanished on her to find himself even that hadn't left a mark on her sunny nature. A part of who she was, was the fundamental belief of good in others, of the unconditionally love she held for the wolves in her life and that they held for her, that in the end they would always find their way back to her.

Rejection; had she been asked before today to describe the emotion it left on a person she would have scoffed and laughed and said it wasn't a thing that mattered, because she loved whoever might have asked and of course they loved her. Now, it was love that was a fleeting feeling of the past. She felt the hole in her chest, that's what rejection was she realized, when it came from those that mattered the most. It was realizing something crucial was missing from her heart, and coping with the question of how to live without it. She had gone all her life without ever knowing the answer to that question and she wondered if perhaps serenity was better then clarity. It begged the question, if all the hard ships people tried to impress upon her existed, if such emotion pain was out there... did that not make the world a different one to the one she perceived? Perhaps it was true that bad wolves lived out there, that not everyone held good in their hearts. She shuddered, well free of imp territory now. She didn't understand how her thoughts could be lead down such dreary roads. She couldn't find her inner happiness, that emotion that was a part of her fundamental make up. Why did her heart hurt? Why did the rain that had started as a light shower and now pour heavily upon her not matter? It was like she couldn't even feel it. She was... numb, she realized.