Change in Pace

*Gabriella* · 04-12-2013, 03:01 PM

Just like the seasons changing, so has Gabriella. Since over the few months of time that had passed, and her recent disappearance and sudden return, Gabriella had improved on her speech, but not necessarily her attitude. More or less, it had been discovered she had developed an anti-social personality disorder, so anything Gabriella did, she couldn't feel guilty about it because she didn't think she did anything wrong and she found it easy to blame others for their issues within the world, and not just her own. It was sad to see, but that didn't necessarily mean that she didn't have loyalty to her pack.

Since coming to Tortuga, she had discovered a sense of responsibility. Even without Pi. Pi was just another ghost of her past, and it was possible she would never see him again. At this point, she felt no sadness, or worry, about her brother. She had no one, and that was how she liked it. During the summer heat of the middle of the day, Gabby was found dipping herself into the waters. Her countenance was soft and unreadable; she hid her thoughts and feelings from others that could have been spying on her. More or less, this was how she grew to be. Every step she took into the water was like a graceful movement of a deer. Not even the water splashed from her slender paws inserting themselves into the liquid embodiment of the river. The sounds of the smooth running creek were all but dulled minus the sound of occasional dripping from her belly where places of the river were deeper than most.

Stopping just short of the middle, Gabriella gazed at her reflection and the deep ember orange of her eyes. It was as if she was trying to gaze into herself to discover who she was. Gabriella had been called many names; monster, demon, freak, weirdo. More or less the intention of those words were to insult her and make her fear or feel bad of herself, and yet, she couldn't bring herself to feel such emotions. Gabriella was confused on how to make her feel such things, being that her disorder she couldn't control. Or understand. Gabriella knew that she just had no way of feeling such things even if she was meant to in a certain situation.

What did it mean to know one's self? Did it mean that you knew your weaknesses and knew how to deal with them? Or did it mean that you knew yourself better than anyone else? Standing there, Gabriella barely recognized the face looking back at her with such a gaze that looked more or less like someone dead; emotionless and expressionless. No life within the eyes of the gazer, and no spark of a flame that signified that she was alive. Just a dead, unimportant, piece of flesh magically put to life by some greater being who thought she had a purpose in this world.

Table by Pann, Image by Amanda

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