Sharpen your blades, the war drums call

Starling knew he was being followed, ever since he had left the meeting he had felt her at his ankles. Frankly, he just wanted to be alone. He needed to be alone. The tightness in his chest was almost overwhelming. He just wanted to lay down, to breathe in the scents of his plants and relax alone in his den. But no, he had invited Shaye to come see him after the meeting, so they could compare stock and he could direct her. Only...he suddenly felt like he shouldn't. Why did Bass give this authority to him? Why in the world would he trust him to do something like this? Starling was nothing but a child. Lungs would tighten, and his eyes stung as he found it incredibly hard to breathe. He'd stutter in his steps just slightly before he finally managed to overcome the lump in his throat. This was supposed to be incredible. They were supposed to unite, Starling was supposed to show them all he could do it...but instead, it all fell apart. He wasn't smart enough, he didn't have enough experiance. He was practically useless! Why didn't Bass give this to Harmony, someone far superior and...experianced. He would whine then, a soft sound as he trotted to his den, not looking back at his cousin.

This was awful and now...his best friend probably hated him. He'd drive them all away, he should be alone.... Every thought whirled through his head, slicing through any clarity he might have had and filling his skull with shadows. He would never be enough, he would never say the right thing, he would never do the right thing. So why bother? He worked so hard, all the time, and he still wasn't enough. How pathetic...how absolutely awful. He just...wasn't enough, through and through. It was becoming clearer the older he got. But he had someone following him, someone he had to direct, to talk too. He had to shake this off. Blinking over large, wet eyes a few times he'd turn his head to look at her, unable to put a smile on his face. "I-it's umh...j-just over h-here.." He whispered softly, the confidence he had felt was gone, the excitement he had had has now vanished. All he wanted to do was curl up and forget he had had any dreams, any wishes, any aspirations....

"Burn Baby Burn" || "Bruciare Bambino Bruciare"