-2 “forepaws moving to break as her rear swung around to her right (his left). She snarled as she surged forward on bent hind limbs in her twist, facing his left side.” This positioning is very vague.
-2 “...the bone of her shoulder...” Which part of the bone of her shoulder? The front? The side?
-2 “She hoped to ram the bone of her shoulder between two of his ribs, if her thrust hit square where she desired.” Where is that exactly? Which two ribs?
-2 “...aiming with gaping jaws towards his Illium bone where his two hip bones met.” Unfortunately I can't look at refs and without it “where his two hip bones met” is a little too vague for me.
-2 “...aiming to wrap around his right hind leg...” Where around his leg?
5 for powerplaying.
-1 “...the some 10 feet between them...” This distance wasn't mentioned prior to this
-2 “eating the some 10 feet between them in a wind breaking speed.” You're not giving your opponent time to react.
-2 “Suddenly she threw on the breaks a foot before him...” Same as above.
9 for defenses.
+0 “...rolling one shoulder and then another as she set her balance as a shoulder width distance.” Not sure what this means
+1 “...nails digging into the ground...”
+1 “...her head slowly lowered...”
+1 “...bending her knees...”
+1 “...coiling her muscles...”
+1 “Eyes wound narrow slightly...”
+0 “Lips curled back to show sharp white canines...” I personally don't count showing teeth as a defense
+1 “...ears flowing back as she ran.”
+1 “Her shoulders would push forward, pushing the excess skin along her neck...”
+1 “Her hackles, too, rose...”
+1 “Her own spread evenly to the remaining three limbs.”
9 for attack.
+2 for chest slam
+2 for shoulder throw
+3 for bite
+1 for grip attempt
+1 for paw swipe
10 for injuries.
First round.
Roselin's round one total: 33/50
Harekr: 10 for clarity:
All clear!
9 for powerplaying.
-1 “The woman would charge fearlessly head on...” Nowhere in Roselin's post does it say she came at him head on.
10 for defenses.
+1 for each seen to max of 10.
8 for attack.
+2 for chest slam
+2 for elbow grabs
+3 for bite
+1 for grip
10 for injuries.
First round.
Harekr's round one total: 47/50
ROSELIN: 33/50 HAREKR: 47/50
And the winner is...
HAREKR! Roselin must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.
Damage:
*waves hands* Damage? What damage?
Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
For Arin: You lost points from a little bit of every category, but you definitely lost the most in clarity. My suggestion is to be as specific as possible, add detail whenever possible and leave nothing to the imagination.
For Lunar: Not sure what to tell you...maybe, stop being such an awesome fighter? Yeah, I'll go with that xD In future fights I would like to see the type of fight listed alongside the participants and the rounds in each fight post. Since two out of three was listed I decided against defaulting this fight in Arin's favor, but it is a defaultable (that's totally a word) offense.
