VALENTINE vs ALVIN for FORCE CLAIM
ROUND ONE
VALENTINE
CLARITY |
- All clear!
|
Total: 8 |
POWERPLAY |
- None!
|
Total: 10 |
DEFENSES |
Toes splayed, nails in ground, knees bent, hackles raised, lips snarling, eyes narrowed, ears pinned, tail aligned with spine, legs evenly spaced, weight adjusted for three legged stance.
|
Total: 10 |
ATTACK |
+ 1 paw slam
+ 3 shoulder slam + severity & maim attempt
+ 1 chest slam
+ 4 bite to spine, severity & maim attempt
|
Total: 9 |
INJURIES |
- First round!
|
Total: 10 |
Total for Round One: 49 / 50
ALVIN
CLARITY |
- “...just as the brute hit him where his thigh and rib cage met...” How much damage did this cause? What side? -2
- “...but the man had smashed his massive paw onto his back left toes, crushing at least one or two...“ How much damage is this? Are they broken, sprained, bruised? -2
- “.The man would once again drive his body into the left side of Alvin's body, this time hitting his shoulder to his knee, giving Alvin at least a really bad sprain if not more. ” Which one is it? A bad sprain, or more? What knee? You NEED to be more specific. -2
- “The only thing he could think to do was kick his legs as if he were swimming hoping the man wouldn't take another blow to a different leg.” This is not specific at all. He had to at least have a target in mind, and cannot flounder like a fish out of water in hopes of hitting. -2
- “Alvin would tense with another successful attack, this time to his back and stop his legs from kicking so he could try and lunge his own teeth to his opponent's front left leg around where the paw meets.” Where the paw meets what? And how much damage did he do with the bite to the back? Did he get a hold? Where on the back? -2
|
Total: 0 |
POWERPLAY |
- - There is a lot of movement in your response to Valentine's attacks. Since they all happened at once, it if very unlikely that Alvin would even be able to try to get back up to be knocked down again. And then for him to try and bite, as well as the fact that he keeps trying to get back up, kicking his legs, stopping, bitng. A toooon of movement in one round. -3
|
Total: 7 |
DEFENSES |
Lips curled, neck scrunched.
|
Total: 2 |
ATTACK |
+ 0 for leg flail. (minus points for clarity issues.)
+ 2 for bite to front leg.
|
Total: 2 |
INJURIES |
- First Round!
- (Moderate bruise to left thigh, decided by judge)
- (Sprained toes on back left toes, decided by judge)
- (Sprained knee on left back leg, decided by judge)
|
Total: 10 |
Total for Round One: 21 / 50
ROUND TWO
VALENTINE
CLARITY |
- All clear!
|
Total: 10 |
POWERPLAY |
- None seen!
|
Total: 10 |
DEFENSES |
Shoulders rolled, weight distributed on three grounded limbs, ears pinned, eyes narrowed, lips curled, hackles raised, tail aligned with spine, limbs bent, toes splayed, stance widened.
|
Total: 10 |
ATTACK |
+ 3 bite to back of neck + grip attempt
+ 1 shoulder check to left thigh
+ 3 chest drive to already injured knee + for worsting damage and severity
|
Total: 7 |
INJURIES |
- Minor bruises on right foreleg. -1
- Moderate bite to left front wrist. -3
|
Total: 6 |
Total for Round Two: 43 / 50
ALVIN
CLARITY |
- “The man released his jaws from his back but would turn them to the back of his skull again in a direct hit to his intentions.” How much damage did this cause? Did he get a grip? -2
- “e would struggle as the man pushed his chest against his back left leg in order to damage him more, but he would still try to pull his legs under him even if it meant causing more damage to that leg.” Did this do more damage? How is he managing to push up with all the weight that was bared on him? -2
|
Total: 6 |
POWERPLAY |
- Did Valentine's shoulder check land? -3
|
Total: 7 |
DEFENSES |
Muscles tensed, eyes narrowed, neck scrunched, nails in ground, ears pinned
|
Total: 5 |
ATTACK |
No attacks
|
Total: 0 |
INJURIES |
- Major puncture wounds to the back of the neck/base of skull. -4 (decided by judge)
- Further sprain to left kneecap. -3 (decided by judge)
- Major bruise to left thigh. -2 (decided by judge)
|
Total: 1 |
Total for Round Two: 19 / 50
Totals:
VALENTINE |
49 + 43 = 92 / 100
|
And the winner is...
VALENTINE |
Alvin must give up by submitting, fleeing or passing out, and now belongs to Imperium.
|
Damage:
VALENTINE |
- All healed by this point.
|
ALVIN |
- All healed by this point.
|
Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
Lazuli | Nothing to note, great fight! Amazing attacks, SO CLOSE to a perfect 50 first round.
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Chrono | Most of my notes are listed above, but you could have EASILY gotten some more points here if you just listed ten defences. Even an inexperienced fighter would still know the basic defences, they are almost automatic. Also you listed none of the damage done to your character, which hurts a lot. I could be mean and make it do a lot more damage than it did, and maybe more than you intended. You need to watch your clarity and make things way more clear and precise. Watch ignoring attacks as well.
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- By [Evelyn]
