Slaying The Demons

CLARITY

- “attempting to smash it into the joint of her left shoulder right in the center as he strove to put as much weight as he could,” The center of the joint? Center of the shoulder, chest? -2
- “gaping jaws seeking to place their deadly grip upon the side of her face from the base of her ear to just beneath her jaw.” What jaw was aimed where? He tilted his head but this attack seems pretty vertical. I know that Sin would have to pull an owl to bite with his top jaw by her ear but you can't always rely on common sense. He could very well be an owl. -2

Total: 6

POWERPLAY

- None seen!

Total: 10

DEFENSES

Hackles raised, chin tucked, head aligned with spine, tail aligned with spine, toes splayed, claws in ground, shoulders rolled, ears pinned, lips snarling,

Total: 9

ATTACK

+ 2 shoulder slam + maim attempt (minus points for clarity)
+ 1 for paw slam
+ 2 for bite to side of face + grip attempt (minus points for clarity)

Total: 5

INJURIES

- Round 1

Total: 10

CLARITY

- “Using her good three legs for balance she dug her right back leg into the dirt behind her as she shifted her rump to the right. Using her left front leg to take a step back and avoid his shoulder jutting into her and putting them at an obtuse angle. ” Okay so, this is quite a hefty thing here. I have a very hard time understanding how a single step avoided the whole shoulder collision, even more so a step back. A step off to the side might have put it off, but just taking a step backwards doesn't magically make Sin stop, unless Arian has magically created a force field. Which would be sweet. But anyways, other than that, an obtuse angle is quite literally anything from 91-180 degrees, so you need to be more specific than that. Also also, taking a step BACK wouldn't change their angle, unless Arian turned to jello and flopped around. She may have shifted her rump, but doing a butt jiggle ain't gunna get you anywhere. Shifting is different than an actual step, like a jive to the left without a slide to the right. 'Shift' is just a weight change, so to angle yourself you need more than just a step back. I think that makes sense. Its late and Eve is crazy. -4
- “His head would make a swing to his left to the left side of her face, because of the repositioning his jaws would make contact with her left shoulder right near her neck.” I am not sure how the bite went from the side of the face to the shoulder, even more so if Arian took a step backwards. Unless Sin really is an owl... -2

Total: 4

POWERPLAY

- “His left front paw scraped the middle of her right forelimb leaving mild scratches behind.” You made no mention of his paw slam, which would make it automatically land. -2

Total: 8

DEFENSES

Lips curled, eyes narrowed, ears pinned, (“as her scruff rolled forward” Scruffs can't roll forward, its a roll of fat. Kind of hard to move on its own), hackles raised, chin tucked to chest, toes splayed, weight evenly distributed, tail aligned with spine, claws in dirt

Total: 9

ATTACK

+ 3 bite to ear

Total: 3

INJURIES

- First round
(Minor scratches to right front leg)
(Moderate bite to shoulder)

Total: 10

CLARITY

- “...the beast attempting to put him at an angle for what he sought to do to her.” What kind of angle? 90 degrees, 18 degrees? This could quite literally be at any angle from her. Also, you made it sound naughty. -2
- “Top canines aimed to slice down her forehead and across her left eye, bottom canines aimed to slice upwards just below it, though he wasn't aiming to permanently blind her.” Just below what? His top canines, her eye, her cheek? Her... I think you get it. -2

Total: 6

POWERPLAY

- “Immediately, he would rise upon his hind legs, his back legs spreading to provide him with support as they spread equidistant apart. He wrenched his ear from her grasp, the delicate appendage tearing” This needs to be attempted because Arian got a grip on his ear. You must first attempt to remove yourself from a hold, and in the next post you may move freely. That's like saying that I had a grab on your arm but you forced your body to twist, 'making' me let go. But oops, I didn't, and I have now ripped your arm off. -2
- “He sought to wrap his forelegs around her neck, his left foreleg to wrap around her right and his right foreleg to wrap around her left side. He wanted to hold her, the beast using his weight and her lack of a good leg to his advantage as he sought to push her to her left and hopefully the weight and stress would cause her leg to collapse beneath her and tilt her over.” This is a bit assumption here, you attempt to wrap and then attempt to push down, which is a bit nested. You need to try and get your legs around Arian first before you can push against her, because you are assuming that she did not get out of his bear hug. Maybe Arian doesn't like hugs. -2

Total: 6

DEFENSES

Eyes narrowed, ears pinned, hackles raised, tail aligned with spine, weight distributed, toes spread, claws in earth, shoulders rolled, legs bent. -1 for not shifting weight for rear.

Total: 8

ATTACK

+ 1 for lovie hug (aka bear hug)
+ 3 bite to face

Total: 4

INJURIES

- Moderate tear in left ear. -2

Total: 8

CLARITY

- “As soon as her jaws left his torn ear her front paws attempted to slip underneath him. Attempting to take a step back in the sliding, her head would slip across his chest to underneath him. Her eyes narrowed, forelimbs touching the ground and leaning to her right harshly.” I have a feeling that Arian is coated in soap, cause that is a of slipping. You state that she is in a play bow further down in the paragraph, but this is very, very confusing. Did she try to slide on the ground and then take a step back with her hind legs? Or did she take a step back with all four legs BEFORE she slipped down like a slippery little snake? And how did her head move from his chest to under him? Did she lower it, or pull some crazy owl movement. Maybe they are BOTH owls. -3
- “and his teeth grabbed hold of the middle of her back.” Where on the middle of her back? On either side of her spine? On her left side, right? -2
- “Yelping she felt an inch deep wound strike her...” You need to state if the wound is moderate, mild, or major, or something along those words. An inch wound would be nothing on the scruff where there is a lot of fur and fat, but along the spine where there is less fat and skin it is way more major. -2
- “Sin’s forelimbs missed her shoulders landing on either side of her body...” Where along her body? Shoulders, butt? -2
- “...jaws snapping at his underbelly just below the ribcage.” Where were her jaws aiming? How wide is her bite? Is her bite horizontal or vertical? -2
- “his right left back leg.” Which one was it? -1

Total: 0

POWERPLAY

- None seen!

Total: 10

DEFENSES

Ears pinned, tail aligned with spine, weight adjusted, toes splayed, nails in ground

Total: 5

ATTACK

+ 2 bite to underbelly, minus clarity points
+ 1 paw swipe

Total: 3

INJURIES

-  major wound on back -4

Total: 6

CLARITY

- “...he would swing his hips to his left, away from potentially seeking jaws as he angled them to a T...” He would have to do more than just a little booty shake to bring them to a T, he would have to take a few steps for this. -2
- “teeth clipping his lower chest as her canines sliced mild and possibly moderate lacerations about five or so centimeters in depth.” Mild or moderate, which one? -2

Total: 6

POWERPLAY

- “As he moved to reposition himself, his right foreleg would rise from its position on her left side while his left foreleg stepped over body and stepping where his right foot had previously been...” This movement must be attempted, you are assuming that Arian's position has not changed. -2
- “...should he be successful then he would crush what he could..” Nested attack. You cannot say 'if this than this', cause that just ain't fair. -2

Total: 6

DEFENSES

Hackles raised, eyes narrowed, ears pinned, teeth bared, chin tucked, tail aligned with spine, weight distributed, toes splayed, claws in ground, shoulders rolled

Total: 10

ATTACK

+ 2 paw slam to muzzle + scratch
+ 3 bite to leg + maim attempt, minus points for powerplay issues
+ 1 for chest slam to shoulders

Total: 6

INJURIES

- moderate lacerations chest -2
- mild welts on left back leg -1

Total: 7

CLARITY

- “She quickly would place her back right leg crossing in front her left back leg, in this movement she shifted her body to her left. Her left paw that failed to inflict severe damage slamming onto the ground to lift herself up aiming to place them right in front of each other in a straight line.” Is she fully stepping to her left, or just shifting? Remember that shifting is nothing more than a shift of weight, and without any steps by legs, other than crossing, there is no way that she would be able to fully move herself. Also Sin was above her in the rear, and then beside her before, always at some point standing over her. There is no way that she could fully raise herself. -4

Total: 6

POWERPLAY

- “Just behind the right shoulder blade the teeth would sink an inch deep into the flesh his upper jaw into her back and the lower near the bone itself.” I fail to see how by bringing them face to face his bite that was aimed for her face landed BEHIND her shoulder. That is one crazy owl move. -2

Total: 8

DEFENSES

Eyes narrowed, weight distributed, toes spread, ears pinned, tail aligned with spine, hackles raised, lips curled.

Total: 7

ATTACK

+ 3 bite to throat

Total: 3

INJURIES

-  Major puncture wounds behind right shoulder -4

Total: 6

SIN

40 + 32 + 35 = 107 / 150

ARIAN

34 + 24 + 30 + 5 (fight pass) = 93 / 150

SIN

ARIAN must give up by submitting, fleeing or passing out. Sin's maim is successful.

SIN

Moderate tear in ear will take 2 OOC weeks to heal.
Moderate lacerations on chest will take 1 OOC week to heal.
Mild welts will take 3 OOC days to heal.

ARIAN

Minor scratches will take 3 OOC weeks to heal.
Moderate bite to shoulder will take 2 OOC weeks to heal and may scar.
Major wound on back will take 3 OOC weeks to heal and will possibly scar.
Major puncture wounds behind right shoulder will take 3 OOC weeks to heal and will possibly scar.

DRAGON

Most of my notes are listed above. You really need to watch you angles, as well as putting all ten defenses in your post. Make sure that you are clear and precise!

RIV

Again most notes are listed above. Come on with defenses guys, super easy ten points there! Watch your realism too, making sure that your movements all make sense. If you have any questions you two, skype me!