ARCUS vs ESTI for SPAR
ROUND ONE
ARCUS:
6 for clarity:
- -2 “Shoulder would roll forward as a lance as he attempted to drive it into the soft joint between right shoulder and chest.” Which shoulder is he using?
- -2 “With gaping jaws he'd swing his head to the right, hoping to latch on to the soft muscle along her neck, close to where her shoulders jut out.” I think more information is needed here. How close? By shoulders do you mean her shoulder blades? Is this the side of her neck? The back?
4 for powerplaying.
- -2 “There was a distance of 10 feet between them, which, with one sudden thrust on coiled, bent knees, he began to close.” This should have been attempted; distance and closing it should have been attempted
- -2 “He approached her headlong...” Same as above; position should have been attempted
- -2 “...before he suddenly shifted to his left (her right) around two feet away.” Same as above; you're assuming your opponent didn't move and not giving her time to react
9 for defenses.
8 for attack.
- +2 for shoulder throw
+1 for severity
- +3 for bite
+1 for grip
- +1 for paw swipe
10 for injuries.
Arcus's round one total: 37/50
ESTI:
3 for clarity:
- -2 “As Arcus stepped towards his left, Esti stepped towards her right, creating a small distance between them.” Esti stepping to her right as Arcus steps to his left would actually bring them chest to chest and no additional distance would be made since they are both moving in the same direction.
- -2 “Arcus's right forepaw missed Esti's right forepaw swooping into the area between her foreleg and hind leg as she aimed to come up alongside Arcus's right side.” If they are chest to chest after Esti moves to her right, how is she now moving along his right side?
- -1 “...scraped down Esti's right side starting just behind her ribs towards her flank.” Close to her spine? Somewhere in the middle? Closer to her belly?
- -1 “...forward part of her right shoulder into the brute's gut, just behind his ribs.” Same as above
- -1 “She lifted her right foreleg, redistributing her weight to her other three legs, and attempted to hook it around Arcus's middle right hind leg, just below his knee.” What part of her foreleg is she using?
8 for powerplaying.
- -2 “Because of this distance, Arcus would be unable to even graze Esti with his shoulder.” With them being chest to chest there's nothing keeping Arcus's shoulder from making contact somewhere
10 for defenses.
- +1 for each seen to max of 10
6 for attack.
- +2 for shoulder throw
- +3 for bite
- +1 for paw swipe
10 for injuries.
Esti's round one total: 37/50
ROUND TWO
ARCUS:
4 for clarity:
- -1 “He moved to follow her, to twist his body around...” Through most of the post Arcus is moving away, but you never state what kind of new positioning he's hoping for.
- -1 “A bruise would form there, deep and painful, tender, but not too severe.” Is it moderate then?
- -2 “Gaping jaws would aim, hopefully with more precision this time, towards her tail bone...” I think more detail is needed here. Which part of her tailbone? I think the canine equivalent of a human tailbone is the whole tail
- -2 What happened to Esti's paw swipe? Even if it missed you should still state what became of it
10 for powerplaying.
8 for defenses.
- +1 “Tail would swiftly flow under him...”
- +1 “Blue eyes would narrow...”
- +1 “...ears would press back...”
- 0 “...his lips curled dangerously.”
- +1 “...coiling up his muscles...” and “...his muscles tight...”
- +1 “His hind legs would bend...”
- +1 “as toes and nails dug into the earth...”
- 0 “In all this time his balance would remain strong, at a good shoulder width apart...” Balance isn't the same as stance
- +1 “...his shoulders rolled forward to protect his precious neck.”
- +1 “His fur would remain on end...”
5 for attack.
- +2 for chest slam
- +3 for bite
9 for injuries.
- -1 for moderate bruising to right flank (severity decided by judge)
Arcus's round two total: 36/50
ESTI:
10 for clarity:
10 for powerplaying.
10 for defenses.
- +1 for each seen to max of 10
7 for attack.
- +3 for bite
+1 for grip
- +1 for paw swipe
- +2 for chest slam
9 for injuries.
- -1 for moderate scrapes to tail
Esti's round two total: 46/50
Totals:
ARCUS: 73/100
ESTI: 83/100
And the winner is...
Esti! Arcus must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.
Damage:
Enough time has passed that all wounds have healed
Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
For both: You both lost the most points in clarity and because of that this fight was a little difficult to read. Try to explain everything your character is doing or attempting clearly and as simply as possible. By over complicating explanations or neglecting to explain important details you run the risk of confusing your opponent and muddying the round, which could, in turn, mess up the next round and lead to low scores.
- By [Lazuli]
