Sweet Nothing
04-14-2013, 06:59 PM
The fates? She nearly laughed. If there were fates, then they were certainly having a good time teasing her - tugging her emotions around this way and watching her flounder around trying to do the right thing. Seeing Gideon, she couldn't believe that she had tried to avoid him. Everything would be so different, so off so wrong without him in her life. Yet at those thoughts she tried to distance herself from staring directly at him. Despite the way that she felt now, this would change - it had to! He had a life in Seracia and she in VAlhalla and it just wasn't... meant to be.
Then why was she so happy? To hear that he had plans to come and see her. That he planned to come to her, despite the time that had passed, despite everything that could go wrong, the distance between them in age and loyalty... he had in mind to come to her. Her mischeivous facade dropped then, into a smile more sincere. "I missed you too." She admitted, her ears dropping slightly in a splurge of bashful sentiment. Firefly, what a name for her - she was a large female, growing up sure - but if only he could see her sister, Epiphron had all of the curve and gentle tone of a lady where she was beginning to become more muscular from her training. Yet his pet name acted as a sort of cooling salve to her churning emotions, and she found herself being slowly sedated as thoughts of the two of them being something so close that they could have names like that echoed through her mind.
Funny, she was supposed to be avoiding him, and she was imagining the two of them as something more.
And yet his stare was not the simple joy of meeting up with someone that was missing, that was missed. She stared at him with curiosity then, curiosity that turned to meek understanding as he told her that his queen was dead. Already spinning within her were apologies for his loss, worry at the stress that had surely consumed him with the loss of someone so important to his kingdom - yet instead she paused as Gideon trailed off, mentioning a duchess that he was training. In her idle wondering, she hadn't a clue what he would say in regards to the other female, but she would wait - not interrupting him, giving him time, he had listened to her so respectfully during their last meeting it was all that she could do, to return the favor now.
Yet his next sentence sent the world spiraling, and then quickly crumbling down.
She had to work not to visibly wretch, and her eyes steeled as she tried to quell them of tears. Of emotion. She was too proud to let him see her cry. Instead she closed her eyes, steadied herself and let out a shuddered breath. "Congratulations Gideon James." Her voice was only a bit above a whisper - she couldn't look at him anymore. She had been a fool to the end of this relationship. "Thank you for... telling me." It was better this way, for them both to be on the same page, to know the truth. He had done her a favor by cutting the longing and hope away at the very base, and now she would begin to heal wouldn't she? Yes, those seemed like words that Erani would give her, that the healer would utter while silently knowing that this was how her relationship with an older male from a different pack to end.
"Why did you call for me, or plan to visit - when your loyalty belongs to someone else? For a second I thought that you wanted to be with me too." She paused, feeling ashamed of herself, embarrassed that she had gotten so carried away. "Even after that night in the caves." A bark of bitter laughter, and she felt that she could speak normally again. It became a bit easier to bury her emotions within her, far enough so that no one could see them, and she could take them out and reflect upon them later. "I can't believe you're someone's husband now Gideon." She forced a smile, wondering why she couldn't just turn and leave him right then and there. Why keep speaking with him when she wanted to do nothing more than break down and cry? "Does your wife feel the same way?" There was a forced nature to her words even though she was trying her hardest to be lighthearted, but it wasn't bitterness - not at him, or even his new wife. They were Seracians, they were married, they were important to each other and she would have to suck it up and leave them be.
This was always how it went. Why did it hurt more this time than it had any other?
Then why was she so happy? To hear that he had plans to come and see her. That he planned to come to her, despite the time that had passed, despite everything that could go wrong, the distance between them in age and loyalty... he had in mind to come to her. Her mischeivous facade dropped then, into a smile more sincere. "I missed you too." She admitted, her ears dropping slightly in a splurge of bashful sentiment. Firefly, what a name for her - she was a large female, growing up sure - but if only he could see her sister, Epiphron had all of the curve and gentle tone of a lady where she was beginning to become more muscular from her training. Yet his pet name acted as a sort of cooling salve to her churning emotions, and she found herself being slowly sedated as thoughts of the two of them being something so close that they could have names like that echoed through her mind.
Funny, she was supposed to be avoiding him, and she was imagining the two of them as something more.
And yet his stare was not the simple joy of meeting up with someone that was missing, that was missed. She stared at him with curiosity then, curiosity that turned to meek understanding as he told her that his queen was dead. Already spinning within her were apologies for his loss, worry at the stress that had surely consumed him with the loss of someone so important to his kingdom - yet instead she paused as Gideon trailed off, mentioning a duchess that he was training. In her idle wondering, she hadn't a clue what he would say in regards to the other female, but she would wait - not interrupting him, giving him time, he had listened to her so respectfully during their last meeting it was all that she could do, to return the favor now.
Yet his next sentence sent the world spiraling, and then quickly crumbling down.
She had to work not to visibly wretch, and her eyes steeled as she tried to quell them of tears. Of emotion. She was too proud to let him see her cry. Instead she closed her eyes, steadied herself and let out a shuddered breath. "Congratulations Gideon James." Her voice was only a bit above a whisper - she couldn't look at him anymore. She had been a fool to the end of this relationship. "Thank you for... telling me." It was better this way, for them both to be on the same page, to know the truth. He had done her a favor by cutting the longing and hope away at the very base, and now she would begin to heal wouldn't she? Yes, those seemed like words that Erani would give her, that the healer would utter while silently knowing that this was how her relationship with an older male from a different pack to end.
"Why did you call for me, or plan to visit - when your loyalty belongs to someone else? For a second I thought that you wanted to be with me too." She paused, feeling ashamed of herself, embarrassed that she had gotten so carried away. "Even after that night in the caves." A bark of bitter laughter, and she felt that she could speak normally again. It became a bit easier to bury her emotions within her, far enough so that no one could see them, and she could take them out and reflect upon them later. "I can't believe you're someone's husband now Gideon." She forced a smile, wondering why she couldn't just turn and leave him right then and there. Why keep speaking with him when she wanted to do nothing more than break down and cry? "Does your wife feel the same way?" There was a forced nature to her words even though she was trying her hardest to be lighthearted, but it wasn't bitterness - not at him, or even his new wife. They were Seracians, they were married, they were important to each other and she would have to suck it up and leave them be.
This was always how it went. Why did it hurt more this time than it had any other?