I Will do Anything for You, Even if I Lose the Stars
12-01-2015, 10:44 PM
(This post was last modified: 12-06-2015, 05:35 PM by Caeli.)
Astrea almost hummed when he rounded on her, this was good, even if it was anger and directed at her it was SOME emotion, not that sad broken husk that was once her brother. But she kept her face passive, letting the anger burn in her eyes, knowing that what Voltage needed at this moment was a firm hand, he needed someone to point out that he was being a right ass. "But you are acting like them!" And she meant it, whatever lead their parents to toss them out it was parallel to giving up. They gave up on them, they let them go as a loss cause... And that is what is happening with little Illume. "You are giving up on her like they did with us! Do you not see it? She may be gone because of a accident but the end result is the same, she is out there ALONE, and you have given up on finding her!" And again Astrea had no doubt in her mind that little Illume was alive, no doubt that she was fighting to get back to them... The Star Dreamer had to believe that, she had no other choice. "Instead you turn into this sad creature that I do not recognize. You are not acting like the energy our family is built on..." Sadness again filled her voice. "Do you not see Volt? Do you not see that if you give up we are ALL lost!? You build us, gave us purpose, kept us sane. You showed a little girl lost in the shadows that she could shine as bright as the sun... Without you I would still be there, I would still be lost in the shadows and I would have already flown away to be with the stars." And that was true, she was lost those first few years, so lost. None of her siblings even realize how close their youngest sibling was to just stop resisting the pull that even today tugged at her. "You where the only one that kept me grounded, YOU. And what do you think will happen when more of our family are born? We need you to not give up, little Illume NEEDS you to NEVER stop looking for her, even if we are old and on our last legs, we should never stop looking..." Astrea felt the sadness pull on her again as the anger seemed to bleed away from her. She was about to start crying again when Voltages next words hit her... She did not understand the ever crushing emotion of loss? She narrowed her eyes at him, anger again blazing in her. "Tread carefully brother, for nothing is as black and white as you seem to think it is." Her voice has grown cold in that one instant. Never before has she gotten that tone before, before her journey she did not even know how to make her voice so cold. Things have changed her, things that both strengthened her light and then the darkness in her. "Did you not even wonder what happened to me when I was away from the family?" And that was the rub frankly. No one has truly asked what happened when Astrea was away, no one. They all seemed to take things at face value, they all seemed to think that she had not seen or done anything dark. "I went to that island, Volt. I smelled the blood... Saw the violence..." Saw it in the very air around the home that she once ran in. She may not have seen the blood with her eyes but saw it in the energy of her puphood home. Then she had passed out, just keeled over in the very cave they had been killed in. That was where the nightmares she had came from, she could feel the energy that went into the night, she felt the darkness of those who committed the crime. But she would not tell her brother that, he did not need anymore darkness from her, did not need that worry that the youngest of them was silently waging a war against herself. "You do not have a monopoly on loss Voltage, you are not the only one who feels that a piece of themselves are gone. Do not pretend that for a second. I have lived my whole life with that feeling..." And she had, She felt that disconnect, felt alone in the world even though she was surrounded by family... "But despite that I fought the urge to just toss myself into the air and fly to the stars because I KNEW my family cared for me. Knew they would be sad if I was gone... But yet the strongest one of us has given up, seemingly without much of a fight because she has not even been gone a whole season..." She had came down from her anger but it still simmered, the darkness still shadowing her pale eyes. "I do not see the brother I adore when I look at you, Voltage." And then her mind changed from the one who did not seem to want her help to the child that others have given up on. "If you wont do anything, I will. I will find her and bring her back home." Why did it seem that Astrea was the only one out of all of them that believed in others to a fault, she believed their parents loved them to the day they died and now it seemed she was the only one who thought that little Illume was still out in the world, the only one who believed that she was alive. "I cannot force you to live, Voltage." She was back to being cold with him, not using the familiar nick name. "But I do know that if you give up to your sadness and let the waves wash you under than not only did we lose little Illume, but we lost the ground work that holds this family afloat, you wallowing and giving up on life not only condemns yourself but every single one of our family. I never thought of you as weak Voltage, but all I see now is weakness." Astrea turned then, nodding to her bird companion, knowing that she was still going to go and find little Illume. Her niece needed her and it seemed that Volt did not. No he was committed to willow in his darkness, only thinking about himself, letting not only his daughter down by every single wolf in the family down. |
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