ARIAN vs SIN for DEATH
ROUND ONE
ARIAN
CLARITY |
- “Her claws scraping against the ground for traction as her head tilted to the right and aimed for his baby making parts.” Where exactly was she aiming? Top jaws where, bottom jaws where? -2
- “Using her right front leg as she reached upward she attempted to kick at his right back leg.” Where on his back leg was she aiming? What part of her front leg? Her paw, her knee? -2
- Your attacks all rely on her being able to actually get under him, which is quite a large movement. To assume that she would be able to reach all the way back there without him reacting to her getting underneath him is a pretty big thing, in my opinion. -2
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Total: 4 |
POWERPLAY |
- None seen
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Total: 10 |
DEFENSES |
Ears pinned, weight distributed, tail aligned with spine, chin tucked, hackles raised, shoulders rolled, narrowed eyes.
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Total: 7 |
ATTACK |
+ 2 bite to... manly parts. Minus points for clarity.
+ 1 for slam to leg. Minus points for clarity.
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Total: 3 |
INJURIES |
- First round.
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Total: 10 |
Total for Round One: 34/50
SIN
CLARITY |
- “Meanwhile, as her right foreleg shot forward, it would strike his right hind leg just below the knee, but with his weight focused on his hind legs,” What part of her struck him? Her entire leg just flopped on him? Her paw? Her knee? -2
- “As soon as her paw made contact, he lifted his right hind leg and aimed a vicious kick to her face, aiming mostly to kick her right eye and blind her for the fight.” It is unrealistic to blind her with just a paw slam, unless you are aiming claws into the eye itself, or hope for it to swell enough that it will be slightly closed. -2
- “And if he could, he would strive to keep her on the ground where she belonged.” How is he attempting to keep her on the ground? This isn't attached to any of your attacks but after them. -2
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Total: 4 |
POWERPLAY |
- “Should he attain it, he would strive to shake his head violently without releasing, potentially gaining control.” Conditional attack, you cannot assume that your bite landed. No if this than that. -2
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Total: 8 |
DEFENSES |
Eyes narrowed, ears pinned, lips snarling, tail aligned with spine, head aligned with spine, chin tucked, shoulders rolled, hackles raised, toes splayed, nails dug in ground.
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Total: 10 |
ATTACK |
+ 2 for bite to neck + grip attempt. Minus points for conditional.
+ 2 for kick to face + severity. Minus points for clarity issue.
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Total: 4 |
INJURIES |
- First round.
- (Minor bruise to right hind knee)
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Total: 10 |
Total for Round One: 36/50
ROUND TWO
ARIAN
CLARITY |
- “As his jaw came down her right back leg pushed into the dirt inching her up as they hit her right shoulder.” This doesn't make sense, it's a little hard to understand. What hit her right shoulder? His jaws? Where did they land? -2
- “Painfully she felt the teeth sink in deep.” How much damage did this cause? -2
- “His paw would hit her in the middle of her forehead.” Did this do any damage to her? Bruising? Cuts? Spontaneous combustion? -2
- “Immidiatly she would open her jaws as well and aim to snap right on the paw that had caused the bruising on her head and neck. Her jaws would aim to snap shut with as much force as possible.” What paw? I cannot assume, you need to state which one she is attacking. Where is she aiming? Ankle, right over the paw? Where are her jaws aimed? Did she raise her head to try and catch the paw that just hit her in the forehead, or was it magically by her jaws? -4
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Total: 0 |
POWERPLAY |
- None seen.
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Total: 10 |
DEFENSES |
Tail tucked, hackles raised, ears pinned, belly muscles tightened (only accepting because her stomach is exposed), eyes narrowed, toes spread.
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Total: 6 |
ATTACK |
+ 1 bite to paw. Minus points for many clarity issues.
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Total: 1 |
INJURIES |
- 3 for moderate bite to right shoulder. (Decided by judge)
- 1 for minor bruise to forehead. (Decided by judge)
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Total: 6 |
Total for Round Two: 23/50
SIN
CLARITY |
- “The male pulled his right hind leg towards his body, attempting to yank it towards him and her jaws with it to try and see if her head would follow so as to extend her neck for a more brutal bite.” Did this cause pulling on the wounds on his paw? Did the movement make it worse? -2
- “With a vicious snarl, he twisted his body like a feral cats,” How? In what direction? -2
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Total: 6 |
POWERPLAY |
- “Should he be successful in extending her neck when he pulled the trapped paw up, he aimed to slam his right forepaw upon the back of her neck and overextend the muscles there.” Another conditional. You can't assume that the first move worked, or that this would land. You need to give your opponent more time to react. -2
- “his jaws would seek to once again, lay claim to the already damaged right shoulder.” You never stated that you let go of your first hold. -2
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Total: 6 |
DEFENSES |
Ears pinned, eyes narrowed, hackles raised, tail tucked, lips curled, shoulders rolled, head aligned with spine, weight evenly distributed, toes splayed, claws in ground.
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Total: 10 |
ATTACK |
+ 1 head step, shove thing. Minus points for conditional.
+ 3 for bite to already wounded shoulder, worsening damage. Minus points for powerplay issue.
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Total: 4 |
INJURIES |
- 4 for broken right hind paw.
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Total: 6 |
Total for Round Two: 32/50
ROUND THREE
ARIAN
CLARITY |
- “The woman used all of her weight and rolled forward to her right, his jaws slamming shut just between the shoulder blade before she ended up on her right side instead of her left. Hissing at the pain of lost fur between her shoulders. Now hoping that she was directly beneath him in a cross like manner.” Okay, I am really confused here. So she rolled forward as in a somersault, but he still managed to bite her shoulder blade? Or do you mean between her shoulders? How did it knock her to the right? Did he shove her too? How did she end up getting under him with that movement? While he was biting her shoulder?-4
- “his jaws slamming shut just between the shoulder blade” How much damage did this cause? Did he get a hold? -2
- “Arian rocked herself to the left, to get herself into a laying down position.” Wait, she wasn't laying down before? This is a lot of movement here. -2
- “However her jaws opened and aimed directly for his tendon right below the elbow.” What elbow? -2
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Total: 0 |
POWERPLAY |
- None seen.
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Total: 10 |
DEFENSES |
Chin tucked, tail raised, hackles raised, ears pinned, belly tightened (only counting because belly is exposed), toes splayed, eyes narrowed.
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Total: 7 |
ATTACK |
+ 3 bite to elbow + maim attempt. Minus points for clarity issue.
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Total: 3 |
INJURIES |
- 3 moderate bite to middle of shoulder blades? (decided by judge)
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Total: 7 |
Total for Round Three: 27/50
Sin
CLARITY |
- “he would swing his hips to his left away from her, almost like a semi circle as he sought to align them up like a T so she wasn't beneath him.” It would take more than a hip swing to manage this, he would have to take a few steps at least. -2
- “her jaws would meet with the lower portion of his chest, the woman attaining a mild grip as her teeth dug in about an inch deep.” How severe is this wound? Simply stating that it is an inch isn't enough, because an inch could be nothing with fur and fat, but on a more exposed area like the belly it would cause more damage. Also, where on his lower chest? Left side, right side, middle? -4
- “He would coil his hind limbs, then kick forward as he attempted to throw all of his weight forward.” Into what part of her? Her side, front, chest, butt? -2
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Total: 2 |
POWERPLAY |
- “he released his hold on her shoulders, fur and skin ripping away.” She never stated that he had gotten a hold on her. Plus 'letting go' wouldn't do any more damage, and assuming that the fur and skin ripped away is for sure pp. -2
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Total: 8 |
DEFENSES |
Eyes narrowed, hackles raised, tail aligned with spine, shoulders rolled, head aligning with spine, chin tucked, nails in ground, legs bent.
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Total: 8 |
ATTACK |
+ 1 for shove.
+ 1 for paw swipe.
+ 4 bite to spine + maim attempt.
+ 3 for bite to neck. (Companion)
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Total: 9 |
INJURIES |
- 3 moderate bite to lower chest.
- 3 moderate lacerations to chest.
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Total: 4 |
Total for Round Three: 31/50
Totals:
ARIAN |
34 + 23 + 27 = 84/150
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SIN |
36 + 32 + 31 = 99/150
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And the winner is...
SIN |
Arian must give up by submitting, fleeing or passing out, and Sin may deal the death blow.
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Damage:
Arian |
- N/A, death is kinda worse than any of the wounds.
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NAME |
- Minor bruise to right hind knee will take 3 OOC days to heal.
- Broken right hind paw will take 1 OOC month to heal, and should be seen by a healer or it could be permanently crippled.
- Moderate bite and the moderate lacerations will take 2 OOC weeks to heal, could scar.
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Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
RIV | To be honest, I was a little bit irritated with this judging. I know that you wanted to play this out, but to me it seemed like there could have been more effort put into this fight. I know it's hard with a crippled wolf, but you didn't even list 10 defenses through the fight. As a judge it's just pretty frustrating to see that. Super easy points there! XD I do, however, want to thank you for playing Arian with her maims in play. There are times when I see people leave out old injuries for the sake of doing better in a fight, and I really appreciate that you stuck with your character. Just a bit frustrated is all, I feel like you could have done so much better! Just listing 10 defenses would have boosted your score and made this a much closer fight. Try to add in more attacks as well!
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DRAGON | I know from judging some of your past fights that you are making a few of the same mistakes, like conditionals and not listing damage properly. I know that you are on a phone but try to take what the judges say to heart! We are here to try and help you. You did a good job, just watch those clarity and power playing, you lost quite a few points there. Conditionals are big no-nos, the 'if this than this.' You have to give your opponent enough time to react to the initial attack/movement before you can try another one.
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TO BOTH | Remember that there is one more judging coming after this, this is not the say all end all here!
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- By [Evelyn]
