-2 You've lost me at what distance is separating them. Early in the post you say 6 inches but before he attacks it mentions three feet.
-1 Where on the throat is Bass aiming to land his upper teeth. That's a fairly wide area, up towards the jawline? mid-distance between head and chest?
-1 how did his weight shift to his right? Over just his right legs? Right foreleg and back legs?
Total: 6
POWERPLAY
-none seen
Total: 10
DEFENSES
+1 each seen
Total: 9
ATTACK
+2 shoulder slam
+3 Bite +1 grip
+1 paw slam
Total: 7
INJURIES
-first round
Total: 10
Total for Round One: 42
ZELL
CLARITY
-2 "weight shifting to his hind end" You've lost me on this motion, is he sitting down? Shifting all his weight to his butt? Did you mean his hind legs?
-2 "aimed to wrap around his right side." Where on his right side? The right side is a huge area.
-2 "Upper canines sought to wrap over the far side of Bass' jaw, and lower canines sought to wrap beneath his top jaw" I'm a bit lost what counts as the far side and what counts as beneath. Beneath could be where Bass' upper canine's are or the left side of the jaw, same for far side. Is the far side the left side of the jaw, where the canines are or along the bridge of the nose?
-1 "A grin split his maw as Bass' paw slammed back on the earth, and he quickly shifted his weight onto all fours again." How did he shift his weight between the legs? Is it equal? more front or back?
-1 "Bass rose his front right leg, shifting his weight to his own left to try and keep himself balanced" I'm a stickler for this. How the weight is distributed can effect movement and balance is he balancing on his left legs? Just bending them to take more weight? is it even between then?
-2 "as he shifted his weight to keep himself balanced." shifted his weight how?
-1 "His upper jaw was aimed for just below his sternum, lower jaw aimed four inches below his upper jaw" this is a case where it would be good to use names. On first read through I thought you were going for Zell's sternum and upper jaw. Not that Bass's lower jaw was aiming four inches below Bass's upper jaw. Be careful with that.
Total: 5
POWERPLAY
-none seen
Total: 10
DEFENSES
+1 each seen
Total: 8
ATTACK
+3 bite + 1 grip
+2 paw slam to nuts
Total: 6
INJURIES
-1 mild bruising to left shoulder
Total: 9
Total for Round Two: 38
ZELL
CLARITY
-2 what part of Bass is he trying to hit with his chest?
-1 what part of his chest is he trying to throw into Bass? if it's the whole thing say so
-2 I don't see how falling right into the attack is going to prevent a hold
-1 weight shifted slightly how? forward? down? back? I get that he's trying to drop the elbow but you'll want to be specific about how the weight is shifting. It will help decide how much power is going into the attack.
-2 upper ribs where? what side?
Total: 2
POWERPLAY
-none seen
Total: 10
DEFENSES
+1 for each seen
Total: 10
ATTACK
+3 bite +1 grip
+2 elbow slam -1 clarity
Total: 5
INJURIES
-2 moderate wounds to belly below ribs
Total: 8
Total for Round Two: 35
Totals:
BASS
80/100
ZELL
73/100
And the winner is...
BASS
Zell must give up by submitting, fleeing or passing out.
You both have been here long enough you know the drill. I don't really have anything to add that can't be picked up from the deductions above. I am a huge stickler about weight-shifting. This may change in the future but for this fight I'd say it's what jumped out to me the most. How weight is distributed plays a roll in balance, can affect the power generated through attacks as well as manueverability.
