I Am Forever Yours, Even If You Hate Me
12-23-2015, 04:13 PM
She was at the crest when she felt him. Her ears flicked, knowing that if he was up and about that was good, it was the right step in the right direction. But she did not want to talk to him, she was scared that he would rip her now scared heart from her chest. She was afraid that for his pain he would request double back, and he would get that, she would let him rip her to shreds if that was what he needed... So instead of fallowing her first impulse to turn tail and run she turned slowly, plastering her ears to her skull. She was so tired, she had no more fight in her really, she was easy pray if he was going to rip her soul to shreds. Astrea knew how she must look to him, she had not eaten much in the past weeks, and had barely even slept, her fur must have dust rubbed so hard into it that she may never get it out, her stars had dulled and most likely couldn't be told apart from the black of her pelt. The feathers hung limply like the wind knew that she was already wasting away, but even thought she felt terrible, even though she was pushing her body to the limit she would not stop looking, she would look till the day she died if she had to, but she would not give up. She looked at him, her eyes drawn and saw into his soul. He felt as dead as she looked. He may be up and about now, he may be moving but this was not living. Existing was not life... She had failed him again. She had put her soul on the line and had gotten nothing for it... Her soul cried out, the pain she felt for calling him out on his behavior was for nothing... The smile he plastered on his face was a fake, she could see it, knew that he did not feel the life that he was pretending to lead... Astrea said nothing, it seemed that he was ripping her soul apart but not with his anger... Instead he was ripping her heart out with the shadow he had become... She may not understand the loss of a parent for a child, or fully know what happened at that island of their birth but she knew what it felt like to be a shadow in life, knew what it was like to just exist and not to live... And her empathy was like no other, she felt his soul calling out in the dark as hers was, felt his pain even behind the smile, she saw the darkness in his eyes... Her life was spiraling slowly out of control like none of the others seemed to understand... They had not seen the darkness that she carried with her after her journey, they had not seen the change that she hid behind her mask of calm. Astrea had hoped that her family would pull her back, would balance her again but instead she felt even more lost then she ever did before, not one of them seemed to see just how lost she was, as much as Volt was, and most definitely as lost as little Illume was... "Yeah... I was not sure either... But I needed a safe place to rest before going further away," She finely answered him, her eyes not turned away from him as she continued down the path and she sat in her normal spot, but instead of looking at him or to the sky she just looked down at her paws. Her body was slumped and her ears back... She was so tired... She was losing that battle against the darkness, and not one of her sibling seemed to see it. |
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