Waiting For The Inevitable

*Erani* · 04-17-2013, 08:16 PM

Erani

Erani lay curled as far away from the entrance of the den as possible. She?d made Nova leave her be. She imagined he was out hunting. She knew she would pay for her angry outburst at the meeting. She would pay dearly. Honestly, she expected to be exiled at this moment. It scared her. She knew she?d gone out of bound, and that begging for pardon was not enough. At the least, she would be demoted. At the most, exiled. She could feel the anger in the land. And above all, she hurt.

Deep blues clamped shut, a soft whine bitten back to a strangled noise. If she could have, she would have taken her words back. Kept her muzzle clamped. Inside, her stomach roiled and clenched with uncertainty. The unknown was what scared her most. She curled tightly into herself, feeling the need to protect the life within. She had caught a glimpse of Cairo on her way out. How long he?d been there, and how she?d missed his arrival, she wasn?t sure. But the blatant rage in his eyes brought back the nightmare of Guinevere?s dying, and the furious, rage filled sapphires and flashing canines lunging for her.

His anger made her burn with disgust for herself. No matter how much she wanted, she could never truly claim Chrysanthe and Epiphron as her own. Nor Eos or Syrinx or Preston and Neo. Her throat convulsed as she tried to hold back another whine. She didn?t want Nova to see her like this. She wished Guinevere would never have become ill. That she had never died. That the children could have had their mother instead of herself. And it hurt, that wish. It hurt as though her heart were being twisted and squeezed. Beneath it all, she still felt guilty for Guinevere?s death. How could the children love her so much when she was responsible for losing the battle with Death for their true mother?s life?

Her cheeks were damp. The sounds of her tears she held back, but the scent of salt still stung her nose. The pressure was unbearable. All she could do was wait for whatever was coming for her. And take it like a Valhallan.

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