- 2 “He launched himself at her” Are they facing each other? At an angle?
- 2 “should he succeed” In what? Does this bite only work if the shoulder throw does? If so this is an “If Then” situation, which is PP. If not, it is incredibly unclear.
- 2 “And retaliate by snapping down directly over his muzzle…” You need to clearly state what is an attempt. Saying where the teeth “would” rest is not an attempt.
- 2 “To bring it harshly upon the toes” I know you have an attempt in lifting, but you don’t attempt the strike.
+ 2 shoulder hit
+ 1 paw stomp
+ 3 bite to muzzle
+ 1 grip attempt
Total: 7
INJURIES
- RND 1
Total: 10
Total for Round One: 43 / 50
ROUND TWO
DIABLO
CLARITY
- 2 “mild bruise slowly but surely blossoming from her digging efforts” where exactly?
- 2 “upon her throat” “beneath her jaws” this could be multiple places. With a severe attack like this you have to be very specific.
Total: 6
POWERPLAY
- 2 “to place a bite upon the throat” this does sound fishy and not attempted. Be careful of you wording. “aimed” doesn’t always make an entire movement an attempt.
- 2 moderate bruise to jaw
- 3 minor fractures to jaw
- 2 minor lacerations to jaw
Total: 3
Total for Round Two: 31 / 50
Totals:
DIABLO
41 + 34 = 75 / 100
BERNIE
43 + 34 = 74 / 100
And the winner is...
DIABLO
BERNIE must give up by submitting, fleeing or passing out.
Damage:
DIABLO
- mild bruise to left chest - 2 OOC days
- Mod lacerations to left ear - 1 OOC week
- Moderate scratches - 5 OOC days
BERNIE
- moderate bruise to left shoulder - 2 OOC days
- Moderate slices to left cheek - 1 OOC week
- Moderate bruise to jaw - 2 OOC days
- Minor fracture to jaw - 3 OOC weeks
- Moderate lacerations to jaw - 1.5 OOC weeks
Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
BOTH
Great fight you two! All my notes are above. If you have any questions, please let me know. Also; remember realistic damage ;3
