Cypress vs Sin for Death
ROUND ONE
CYPRESS
CLARITY
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-1, you'll want to give some idea of the distance between them as this could affect some of the attacks. Doesn't need to be exact, just a general idea of how close Cypress is try to get before charging
-2 "He attempted to be angled with roughly half his body still directly facing Sin’s own." which half? what sort of angle?
-2 What was the feint? Did he move his whole body to the left, did he move back to realign with Sin or over to his right or did he stay on his left.
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Total: 5
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POWERPLAY
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-1 "As Cypress attempted to close in the last two feet of the distance between himself and Sin he would feint to Sin’s left." This is a minor pp and assumes that the distance is closed before the feint
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Total: 9
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DEFENSES
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+1 for each seen
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Total: 9
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ATTACK
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+2 shoulder slam -1 I'm unsure of the distance he's closing and what angle he's coming at. If he's off to Sin's left and crossing for the left forechest it seems unlikely he'd succeed in knocking the breath from the other.
+1 paw slam +1 maim attempt -1 a wolf's claws are pretty dull it's unlikely he could get his paw into a position to cut through the webbing of Sin's paw let alone build up enough pressure to slice through
+3 bite +1 maim +1 grip
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Total: 7
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INJURIES |
-first round
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Total: 10 |
Total for Round One: 40
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SIN
CLARITY
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-1 "and potentially dodge the upcoming charge" It's up to you to decide if an opponents attack hits or not unless it's a counter, minor
-2 what is the feint? How is he feinting? With body position? An attack? A feint is a deceptive movement and I'm not quite sure what Sin was trying to accomplish in this.
-1 "straight into Cypress' left hind knee where the joint connected." where the joint connects with the thigh or the lower leg?
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Total: 6
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POWERPLAY
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-2 "Jaws parted with a thunderous roar as he too kicked off to meet Cypress head on." Need to attempt to meet him and attempt to close the distance
-2 "With the last two feet, just like Cypress, Sin would feint to his own right," You can't assume your opponent let you get within two feet
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Total: 6
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DEFENSES
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+1 each seen
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Total: 10
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ATTACK
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+2 shoulder slam
+1 paw hook
+3 bite +1 maim -1 this would be a difficult move since he's throwing his left shoulder forward he'd need to reach his neck over his shoulder to get at Cypress also the testicles would be farther back so he'd have to twist pretty far under Cypress. It's a pretzely move.
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Total: 6
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INJURIES
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-first round
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Total: 10
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Total for Round One: 38
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ROUND TWO
CYPRESS
CLARITY
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-1 "There would be pain, igniting at his knee where the joint connected." If your opponent fails to specify their target then you should. Where the joint connected with the thigh or lower leg?
-2 "Cypress now stood with his right side two steps farther back than his left" "His left side, having been drug forward, had left him at a bit of an awkward position," Do you mean Cypress is turned away from Sin? Are his right paws just farther back than his left? I'm not sure what you mean by awkward position or what position he's in
-2 " His hind legs would dig into the earth, attempting to surge him forward and away from Sin’s grasp in a leap. While in the air Cypress would adjust his body to the left by forty-five degees" - which way is he leaping? A 45 degree angle compared to what? Is he leaping away? toward?
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Total: 5
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POWERPLAY
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-2 there's a lot of movement in that last attack and the confusing positioning doesn't help, he's leaping, twisting, twirling you need to give your opponent room to respond they could shift the position dramatically in the time it takes your wolf to do all these moves
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Total: 8
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DEFENSES
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+1 each seen
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Total: 9
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ATTACK
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+3 bite +1 maim +1 hold -1 clarity for confusing position regarding the leap
+1 paw slam, point not given for maim attempt, it is unlikely he could generate enough power to break Sin's hock
+1 tail flick to eyes -1 for positioning clarity
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Total: 5
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INJURIES
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-1 moderate bruising to knee
-2 moderate bite to lower belly
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Total: 7
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Total for Round Two: 34
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SIN
CLARITY
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-2 where on the ribs is Sin aiming? That's a fair amount of space, high, low in the middle farther back toward the hips, closer to the shoulder it could also effect what he might be able to break and what might be to solid
-2 where on Cypress' belly is he aiming to to bite?
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Total: 6
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POWERPLAY
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-none seen
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Total: 10
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DEFENSES
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+1 each seen
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Total: 10
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ATTACK
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+2 shoulder to ribs +0 maim attempt, they're to close in range for Sin to generate enough force to break the ribs -1 clarity
+1 paw wrap
+3 bite +1 hold -1 clarity
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Total: 5
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INJURIES
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-5 broken hock…. ow dude xD
-3 severe puncture wounds
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Total: 2
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Total for Round Two: 33
Totals:
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CYPRESS
CLARITY
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-1 "At best the other man {Sin} had caused some mild bruising with the bony part" You don't seem to certain, you need to be certain with the damage if it caused bruising then say so if it didn't then don't.
-2 where on Cypress' belly did Sin's jaws land?
-2 which leg is he trying to slam his paw into?
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Total: 5
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POWERPLAY
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-2 "Cypress had, from the last round, successfully managed to get legs over Sin’s head" I don't remember any mention of legs over Sin's head being successful did Cypress leap over Sin in that last post? Is that what you mean?
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Total: 8
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DEFENSES
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+1 for each seen
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Total: 9
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ATTACK
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+3 bite +1 maim +1 grip
+1 shoulder push
+0 paw stomp for clarity issue
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Total: 6
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INJURIES
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-3 severe gut wound
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Total: 7
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Total for Round Three: 35
ROUND THREE
SIN
CLARITY
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-3 I'm lost on the positioning and I'm wondering if you've goofed up your left and rights on a few of these. In my notes I have Sin's left side along Cypress' left. They're parallel but opposite. I'm not sure how they ended up facing the same way out of the yin/yang position It's goofed up quite a few of your attacks
-2 Where on Cypress throat is Seifer's claws attempting to land? The side? The underside? What about it makes it potentially fatal? Shredding the windpipe? A vein?
-2 where on Cypress spine is he trying to bite? That is a long target and can affect the likelyhood of a maim being possible.
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Total: 3
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POWERPLAY
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-2 I find it unlikely he could support himself on his front legs and a broken hind leg
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Total: 8
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DEFENSES
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+1 for each seen
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Total: 10
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ATTACK
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+3 claw attack -1 clarity, uncertain of severity as attacking the side of the throat wouldn't be as life threatening as the underside near the windpipe -1 remeber that Seifer is only 25" tall I'm not sure if he could drag his right paw all the way up to the corner of Cypress jaw without rearing
+2 shoulder slam +0 for maim attempt, at this close distance it is unlikely that Sin could generate enough force to break the knee.
+1 kick +1 maim
+3 bite +1 grip
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Total: 9
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INJURIES
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-2 moderate lacerations to gut
-4 tail fracture
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Total: 4
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Total for Round Three: 34
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Totals:
And the winner is...
CYPRESS |
Sin must give up by submitting, fleeing or passing out and Cypress if free to administer the killing blow
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Damage:
Cypress |
-moderate bite to belly will take 2 ooc weeks to heal
-severe bite to gut will take 3 ooc weeks to heal
-minor bruises and scraps will heal in a few ic days
(if I missed any wounds let me know, I took ill the last round of this)
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Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
| Holey close fight, Batman! You both were very evenly matched.
Keno you do quite well in your first rounds just work on keeping that quality through the other two posts particularly when it comes to positioning. Watch some of the fancier dodges and the aerial moves they don't currently translate well and can make positioning tricky to follow.
Dragon you do pretty well in general just watch the clarity on your attacks and while it was awesome to see someone take some serious damage in a fight I think you sort of shot yourself in the foot with the amount of damage you took.
Good fight guys!
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- By [Lunarcat7]
