BIRNA vs SERAPHIM for SPAR
ROUND ONE
BIRNA:
10 for clarity:
10 for powerplaying.
10 for defenses.
- +1 for each seen to max of 10.
6 for attack.
- +3 for bite
+1 for grip
- +2 for shoulder throw
- +1 for paw swipe
10 for injuries.
Birna's round one total: 46/50
SERAPHIM:
3 for clarity:
- -1 “Each paw was quickly adjusted...” How exactly are they being adjusted?
- -1 “As his mass moved, it seemed only natural to him to lift his left paw...” Fore or hind paw?
- -1 “He would aim vaguely at her eyes...” I'm going to need something more specific than that, I'm afraid.
- -1 “From the corner of his eye he realized that her left forepaw was reaching for his own, which had already become airborne in his swipe.” So what happened to the paw swipe? Presumably it missed, but I'd like to see that stated.
- -1 What happened to Birna's bite attempt? Same as above.
- -1 How does he intend to use his momentum against her? Is he shoving with his jaws?
- -1 “...while using the remaining momentum of his leap to topple her to the side, or at least throw her off balance.” Which side? And how exactly does this shove work?
7 for powerplaying.
- -1 “He would aim vaguely at her eyes...” If Seraphim is in a low enough crouch to avoid Birna's bite I can't see him being able to reach her eyes with a paw unless he moves.
-
- -1 “He could not avoid the blow, and felt the pain of it explode just behind his armpit on his left side, where the foremost of his ribs began.” The way you worded his crouching makes me think he's in a position very similar to a play bow, in which case Birna, who isn't crouching, would have a hard time reaching the space behind Phim's armpit with her shoulder. Also, if the blow was originally intended for the outside of his shoulder and all he did was crouch down, how did the blow get moved behind his shoulder?
- -1 What kind of damage did Birna's shove cause, if any? Even though this is round one and no points are deducted for damage, you still need to state it. Taking no damage is acceptable provided you can explain why a blow failed to create lasting damage.
8 for defenses.
- +1 “He centered himself, adjusting the way his weight was dispersed from head to tail...” and “Each paw was quickly adjusted so that they bore him equally” seem to counter one another so I'm only giving you 1 point
- +1 for lowered head
- +1 for rolled shoulders
- +1 for bunched scruff
- +1 for pinned ears
- +1 for narrowed eyes
- +1 for tensed body
- +1 for tucked chin
5 for attack.
- +1 for paw swipe
- +3 for bite
+1 for grip
10 for injuries.
Seraphim's round one total: 33/50
ROUND TWO
BIRNA:
10 for clarity:
10 for powerplaying.
10 for defenses.
- +1 for each seen to max of 10.
6 for attack.
- +3 for bite
+1 for grip
- +2 for shoulder throw
7 for injuries.
- -1 for mild bruising to right shoulder
- -2 for moderate puncture wound to left side of neck
Birna's round two total: 43/50
SERAPHIM:
7 for clarity:
- -1 What kind of damage was done to Phim's paw?
- -1 “He leaned forward, attempting to press more weight into Birna...” What's he pressing with?
- -1 “Next, he would attempt to drop his own right shoulder in the hopes it meet hers...” Birna is attacking his left side.
10 for powerplaying.
6 for defenses.
- +1 for widened stance
- +1 for flattened ears
- +1 for narrowed eyes
- +1 for tenses muscles
- +1 for rolled shoulders
- +1 for dug-in claws
- 0 for aligned spine – what is it aligned with?
5 for attack.
- +3 for bite
+1 for grip
- +1 for counter shove (this point is deducted in clarity)
6 for injuries.
- -3 for severe punctures to left forepaw (damage assigned by judge)
- -1 for moderate bruising to left side (damage assigned because of ineffective counter)
Seraphim's round two total: 34/50
Totals:
BIRNA: 89/100
SERAPHIM: 67/100
And the winner is...
BIRNA! Seraphim must give up by either submitting, fleeing, or passing out.
Damage:
Birna:
- Mild bruising will take 2 OOC days to heal
- Moderate puncture wounds will take 1 OOC week to heal
Seraphim:
- Moderate bruising will take 3 OOC days to heal
- Severe lacerations will take 2 OOC weeks to heal
Notes:
Tips for writing and some suggestions. (no points are deducted here):
For both: Nothing to note, good fight guys!
- By [Lazuli]
