Winter Preperations

She stood with her legs halfway submerged in the sun-warmed water of the lake, staring absently out across the unfamiliar body of water. Once bright ivory fur, now dulled with dirt from a period of no grooming, curled and swayed in response to to a sudden gust of gentle wind. Caelum noticed how her body swayed slightly to one side in response to the push of the wind. Once upon a time she would not have been moved a single inch, but now was different. So, terribly different. She felt like a shell of her former self, like a failure. A small bitter chuckle escaped her ebony lips when she reflected on how he had though she was so weak and pathetic some time ago. If she was pathetic then, now she was mere dirt beneath the paws of others.

Younger Caelum had been so positive, so optimistic and gentle and unshakable. She had never panicked when things got bad and never given up. To think she was the same creature was to be too generous to herself. Just thinking about how she behaved now in comparison the her alpha self felt... Disappointing? Something like that. How she would move on she didn't know, but standing here in the water was no longer distracting. She'd hoped to keep walking, to run away and never look back to her past if only she could just forget it all, forget her family and her life before now and disappear into some future where she didn't have to think about it anymore. So far that wasn't working.

The thought of home made her feel weak in her limbs, like she might fall into the water from the stress of remembering. How such a simple thing as remembering could bring her down so easily both amazed and terrified her. And on top of that all this thinking about that time before was bringing up so much in her head she could almost smell home again, or something like home. Her nose twitched several times, taking in deep breaths several times. It... it wasn't in her head, was it? She turned towards the shore, looking through the reeds with a hopeful expression tainted by an undertone of fear. That couldn't be possible. They were dead, all dead and gone except for him. Right?

Slowly Caelum waded towards shore, cyan gaze searching for the source of the scent. She reigned in a surge of hopefulness, remaining cautious while she slowly trotted forward, tail stiff and raised slightly. Who could it be?