Steel had always liked the rain. It was somber weather and it often matched his own dreary state. It felt especially fitting now, as he and Esarosa lay together. Not only was it a perfect excuse for their closeness, if things got weird, but it also calmed the anxious fluttering he felt growing in his stomach. Why he felt nervous, he wasn't totally certain but the feeling was undeniable. As they fell silent for a moment, his ears swiveled as he listened to the sound of the steady rain pattering down on the ground and the gentle thrumming off the wind on the grass.
He didn't really want to argue about why he didn't deserve to be lying here with her. Steel was convinced he'd done nothing to deserve an ounce of kindness from her, and certainly no more; but she seemed to think he did. No, he'd never done anything particular bad, he could agree with her there - but he hadn't done anything good, either. A quiet, but content sigh fell from his lips as he leaned into her. "At least you don't think I've ever stolen milk from a pup," he'd tease, a rare glimpse of humor from the normally stoic man, and a sly smile fluttered across his lips in the near-darkness.
The thing was, though, that she really didn't know him well at all. His story was not a terribly long one. He'd kept to himself for most of his life; he was generally content to survive on his own and avoid others. But what didn't he know about her? He wondered this for a moment as she spoke up again, doing him far more justice than he felt he ever deserved. "I was joking about not hunting frogs tomorrow," he admitted quietly, as if it mattered at all. "We can hunt them if you want." He didn't really care, and he felt a sudden, aching desire to not lose her. Even if it meant hunting frogs on the mud, it was worth it for this. Not that he'd ever denied her silly ideas before.
Her next statement was painfully honest. 'I don't ever want to leave.' He didn't know if she meant she didn't want to leave tonight, or this week, or this year.. he wasn't capable of thinking much further ahead than tomorrow. Another quiet sigh fell from his lips as he considered what she was saying aloud. Was being alone really all that great? It had never been great. Just easier. Safer, with no chance of being hurt by anyone. Esarosa's words seemed far more poetic than anything he could come up with, so instead he would let his head lift and drape over the back of her neck. He had no idea why she wanted to spend time with him rather than someone else, but he felt the anxious fluttering in his belly calm slightly as he let his eyes close once again. He'd never been good with words, but he supposed silence was rude after what she'd said.
"I like the sound of that," Steel would breathe softly. "Just don't change your mind in the morning. That would really bum me out." Perhaps the self-deprecating jokes weren't the best for the mood, but he couldn't help it. "I like the idea of spending more time with you," he'd admit finally after awhile, a bit hesitantly, unused to sharing his feelings in words. "I'm just.." his voice faltered for a moment, his eyes still shut as he spoke. "..afraid. That you'll leave, like everyone does."
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