The Sun Will Shine Again
07-19-2016, 07:51 PM
Steel couldn't help but feel.. lacking. How had someone as beautiful, as kind, and as adventurous as Esarosa decided to be with him, of all wolves? Though he knew better than to admit it to her, for he was certain she might scold him for it, he felt like he had little to offer her. His companionship, and his devotion, but what was that worth, really? These thoughts were present, but not overwhelming - he never felt totally at ease, so feeling a bit of doubt was not unfamiliar to him. Her touch sent a brief jolt of electricity through him. It wasn't unexpected, but the pressure - coupled with her words of agreement - sent a rush of warmth through his very core. His smile softened, adoration shining in his eyes as he gazed at her, though not before leaning back into her touch lightly. "I'm glad," was all he could find to say, but it seemed appropriate for the moment. Briefly he let his eyes flutter shut, happy to be here in the moment with her, even though their new discovery meant they had quite a bit of work to do in the near future. Her attention seemed to shift slightly, and he eyed her inquisitively. Perhaps he shouldn't have been surprised.. she had never been that predictable, not to him at least, but he didn't expect what she had to say. First, she reiterated that she wanted to be with him for a long time. He'd somewhat agreed with her, though had avoided any real talk about the future. Until now, at seemed. She mentioned.. a family? His chest constricted at the thought. His smile drifted, though did not turn upside down entirely; the warmth that had once filled him seemed to fade, giving way to a colder feeling that shook him quietly to the core. "I.. no, not really," Steel admitted, carefully, cautiously. He, too, didn't want to upset her - or frighten her with his answer. "I'm not sure I can imagine myself being a father." He'd been abandoned, too much, to imagine another being depending on him - and he wondered if he could even provide something like that for another when he doubted himself even being enough for Esarosa, as a mate. Being a father was something else entirely. What if he failed them? Could he bring himself to such an obligation, knowing the sort of fate that his children could succumb to? He shuddered involuntarily, his gaze lifting to meet hers. "Why? I mean.." he shuffled his front paws, a bit uncomfortably, though didn't move away from her. "What about you?" |
