Onwards and Upwards [Challenge]

CLARITY

- “...his own lower jaw. If she were able to complete her bite and clamp her jaws shut…” No points taken off here, this is just a note while it’s on my mind. Just be careful of your use “if this than this” as it makes it sound like a conditional movement; something that will happen if the first movement was successful. A better way to word it would be “With her bite she hoped to cut through his skin, hoping to blind the man in the process with his own blood.”

Total: 10

POWERPLAY

- “She reared upwards only a breath before they might have collided, twelve inches remaining between her front paws and his…” You are assuming that his position has not changed, so the stopping right before him needs to be attempted. It’s right on the fence since you said before they might have collided, making it a minor pp. -1

Total: 9

DEFENSES

Hackles raised, shoulders rolled, chin tucked, eyes narrowed, ears pinned, legs spread, claws dug in, legs bent, tail aligned with spine. (Core muscles I do not count as a defense) -1 for not adjusting balance while rearing.

Total: 8

ATTACK

+ 2 leg wrap (+1 for each limb)
+ 4 bite to the left side of the face + grip attempt

Total: 6

INJURIES

- First round

Total: 10

CLARITY

- “Energy in his back legs springing him forward actually hoping to duck near her chest in his crouched motion - maybe even collide with her chest even if it would cause his own head some pain.” In a fight, you need to be clear on your plan of attack. Saying ‘maybe he could do that’ is not really an attack at all, you are leaving it fully up to your opponent to pick if it hits or nor without really having to describe a dodge. Your attacks need to be clear and precise, while still attempting them. Maybe is not an attempt. -2
- “Her paws would grapple a hold just beyond his shoulders, his head stuck slightly underneath her(approximately his eyes meeting up with her neck)...” This is not really too clear, using the eyes as a place of measurement isn’t the best. Is he looking straight ahead, up or down? And where on her neck? Left side, right, right under? -2
- “Keeping all four paws on the ground, his toes spread and his hackles still raised.” When did he stop rearing? You didn’t attempt to lower his body at all, except for tightening his core muscles. -2
- “...as he tried to thrust forward on them to send her back or topple her over.” What is he trying to push her over with? Are you hoping to push into the bite? Because that would be a conditional. Or is there some part of them touching? You never mentioned once if he was up against her chest. -2

Total: 2

POWERPLAY

- “Energy in his back legs springing him forward actually hoping to duck near her chest in his crouched motion - maybe even collide with her chest even if it would cause his own head some pain.” You need to attempt to rear, as your position has a direct effect against your opponent. -2
- There is a lot of movement in this post. He rears up, and then ducks near her chest, reach up to bite and push down, as well as ending up on all fours somehow. -2

Total: 6

DEFENSES

Legs spread, legs bent, chin tucked, tail aligned with spine, ears pinned, hackles raised, shoulders rolled, eyes narrowed. -1 for not adjusting balance while reared, tightening your core muscles is not enough to keep you centered, you must state somewhere that the weight is being shifted to his back legs.

Total: 7

ATTACK

+ 3 bite to throat
+ 0 for shove (Not sure what you are shoving with)
+ 0 for a possible head slam (Must be more clear on if it is an attack or not)

Total: 3

INJURIES

- First round
- (Moderate punctures to left underside of jaw and behind left ear)

Total: 10

CLARITY

- “Her jaws would lunge forward yet again, this time attempting to latch clamp down upon his ear, to twist and pull while she tightened the grip of her forearms, hoping to pin his head to her chest for a brief moment seeing as he had so generously placed it there, so that he could not bite anything else.” What ear is she trying to bite down on? -2
- “...his collision with her clavicle was somewhat mitigated.” Wolves don’t have clavicles. -2
-”...attempting to slide her forelimbs down and around his neck while maintaining contact so that she could shove off from Rivaxorus' chest…” What exactly is she trying to shove off his chest with? Her paws, her own chest? -2
- “She would twist her head to the left and aim a bite at his left flank, her top jaw hoping to find purchase in the muscle of his shoulder while her bottom jaws would hopefully catch in the space beneath his armpit…” This is your second attempted bite, you can only use a body part once per round and give your opponent more time to react. Also flank is the wrong word here, the flank refers to the sides of the wolf along the ribcage. -2

Total: 2

POWERPLAY

- “Her jaws would lunge forward yet again, this time attempting to latch clamp down upon his ear, to twist and pull while she tightened the grip of her forearms, hoping to pin his head to her chest for a brief moment seeing as he had so generously placed it there, so that he could not bite anything else.” You must attempt to tighten the grip on her arms, seeing as Riv could attempt to lunge forward to shake her grip or something else in the matter. Also, you must attempt to bite and hold before you can twist and pull, stating that you hope to do so is a conditional attack. -4
- There is a lot of movement quickly in this post. She tightens her grip and bites, and then let’s go, slides her paws down, and then pushes off of Riv. -2

Total: 4

DEFENSES

Legs spread, legs bent, claws in ground, ears pinned, eyes narrowed, head aligned with spine, tail aligned with spine, hackles raised, shoulders rolled.

Total: 9

ATTACK

+ 2 bite to ear (-1 for placement and conditional)
+ 1 arm wrap (-1 for too much movement)
+ 0 bite to left shoulder (minus points for too many attacks)

Total: 3

INJURIES

- 1 for mild bruising to chest

Total: 9

CLARITY

- “Despite her attempts to keep his head pinned, adrenaline, will power and with the tilt of his head shifted his head enough to keep his ear safe with only slight bruising to his nose. With his ears pinned to the back of his head as far as they could her jaws would saw at the area between his two ears with his head tilted to the right pressed into her neck.” How is he tilting his head to avoid the attack? What did he bruise his nose on? How much damage did he take from her sawing the space between his ears? -4
- “Her teeth caused a half inch wound behind his head again, about two inches across however in a severe enough would to make it bleed out.” You said that she sawed between his ears, but then she bit down again behind his head? Also how severe is severe enough to bleed? You have to state more information on the damage, as half an inch can be severe on some parts of the body and mild on others. -2
- “...his upper jaw aimed for her right back leg where her tendon was and his lower jaw around the rest.” There are tendons all through the leg, what part is he on? Front, back, upper, lower? By the ankle, or the thigh? -2
- “Twisting his body to his right, lower half first for about an inch - “ I am not sure what you mean here. His lower half of what? An inch of what? Off the ground, moving? -2

Total: 0

POWERPLAY

- “His jaws would aim to severe her tendon and tug his head to his own right in an attempt to cause as much physical harm or even a maim to the girl.” This is a conditional. You must attempt the bite and the hold first before you can try to shake your head, or rip off like this. -2

Total: 8

DEFENSES

Hackles raised, legs spread, tail aligned with spine, toes spread, legs bent, shoulders rolled, lips snarling.

Total: 7

ATTACK

+ 3 for bite to leg +1 for maim attempt, -1 for clarity issues
+ 1 shove into mouth

Total: 4

INJURIES

- 1 mild bruise to nose
- 3 moderate lacerations to middle of head
- 4 severe lacerations to the back of head
- 4 severe wound to left side ribcage

Total: 0

CLARITY

- All clear!

Total: 10

POWERPLAY

- Again, you attempted to worsen the bite and then let go and tried for another bite. You have to give your opponent more time to react to the first movement. Rule of thumb is use a specific body part once per round. -2

Total: 8

DEFENSES

Claws in ground, legs spread, tail aligned with spine, head aligned with spine, legs bent, ears pinned, eyes narrowed, shoulders rolled, chin tucked, weight evenly spread.

Total: 10

ATTACK

+ 4 bite to left flank +1 worsening damage
+ 1 bite to left leg minus points for too many attacks (but still one because it’s a worsening damage bite, not two separate bites per say)
+ 1 paw slam + 1 maim attempt
+ 1 shoulder slam

Total: 7

INJURIES

- 3 moderate puncture to left flank
- 2 minor skin tear on left flank

Total: 5

CLARITY

- “The male felt her jaws snap shut on the area just between his rump and his tail.” This is still a pretty wide area, is it lower down his leg, right beside the tail? Also Pere is a lot shorter than him, it would be quite a reach for her to get to the base of his tail. -2
-  “Met with mere bruising…” Where did he get bruised? From what? -2
- “...her shoulder would collide with the upper part of his left side. Right in the middle of his ribs.” That is a pretty large area. In the middle of his ribs length wise, or vertically? Closer to his rump, or head? -2
- “He placed all of his weight into an attempt to fruitfully topple her over from jutting his left shoulder out into her right middle ribs and biting onto the base of her tail.” That’s a little unrealistic, to topple her over by a close range shoulder slam. -1

Total: 3

POWERPLAY

- There is a lot of movement here, from his shifting sideways, the paw slam, and then racing forward for the bite, and then the shoulder slam. -2

Total: 8

DEFENSES

Ears pinned, eyes narrowed, toes spread, legs bent, weight balanced, hackles raised, shoulders rolled, eyes narrowed.

Total: 8

ATTACK

+ 1 paw slam
+ 4 bite to tail + maim attempt
+ 1 shoulder slam

Total: 6

INJURIES

- 4 severe punctures to left flank
- 4 severe wound to left rump
- 2 moderate bruise to left flank

Total: 0

PEREGRINE

43/50 + 27/50 + 40/50 = 110/150

RIVAXORUS

28/50 + 19/50 + 25/50 = 72/150

PEREGRINE

Riv must give up by submitting, fleeing or passing out, and Myraid now belongs to Peregrine.

PEREGRINE

- mild bruise to chest will take 3 ooc days to heal
- Moderate punctures to left side will take 2 OOC weeks to heal
- Minor skin tear on left side will take 1 OOC week to heal

RIVAXORUS

- Moderate puncture wound behind his left ear will take 2 OOC weeks to heal.
- Mild bruise to nose will take 3 OOC days to heal
- Moderate lacerations to middle of the head will take 2 OOC weeks to heal.
- Severe lacerations to back of head will take 3 OOC weeks to heal, might scar.
- Severe wounds to left side of ribs will take 3 OOC weeks to heal, most likely to scar.

Fox

What really got you here was multiple attacks from the same appendage, as well as missing a few defenses. Other than that, you picked it up well in the last round, which is impressive! That is usually where the most mistakes occur. Good fight, and look above for more notes. I am always on skype if you have any questions!

Riv

First and foremost, I just want to say how proud I am of you, because I have seen some improvement here. There are still some things to work on, bu there were far less mistakes than there usually are. Great job! Just gotta make sure you are fitting those ten defenses, and throwing in some more varied attacks. Make sure that you are marking that damage, you only missed a few points here! You really did a great job, and I hope to see you improve more and more. If you have any questions, let me know. There are more notes above. ^^