Good to be Home
08-21-2016, 10:26 PM
Sparrow didn't know what her father was about to say- there was no way she could have. As he began to speak, though, her smile faltered, and her face grew somber. She let him speak, her eyes falling to the ground so she could listen closely to his words. She felt like this was one of the first times they had really spoken. As he finished, Sparrow waited a moment, to make sure he was really done. She tried to keep her face neutral, but so many thoughts welled up in her mind.
"Father, I... think I understand. I- uh- am tired too, in a way. That's why I needed this vacation so badly. I can't take the pressure I feel in this pack to always try to be perfect."
Sparrow stopped, a funny smile crossing her face. She looked up towards her father, "Did you know Karabela calls me 'Flamingo' sometimes? I like her. She's never really been crazy with all the drama that keeps happening. Has she even really fought with any of the pack members? Maybe not, so I think she would be a good leader."
The small girl dipped her head again, "I don't know if I'll follow her, though, but not because I don't think she'll be a great leader, I just... Don't know. I feel bad that I couldn't step up and be the heir you needed. I feel like one of us should have and that it could have been any of us, but I don't think I'd be a very imposing alpha anyway."
Sparrow knew she couldn't mention Peregrine, or her pack just yet. Bass couldn't know how torn Sparrow had felt between the two, or that if Karabela got Abaven that she'd feel less at odds and could go join Peregrine's pack. Her father couldn't know about Peregrine and all the feelings that came with that name. Sparrow wasn't sure enough of her own feelings to even think about them, much less convey them to her father.
"I don't think you failed us. I think it's just been very difficult for all of us. I know you love me, and I know you know that I love you. If our family isn't the one in power, maybe we won't fight as much, and maybe Lillianna will settle for well, I don't really know..." Sparrow couldn't hide the small smile that tinged her maw as she thought of Lillianna being out of her life. The thought made her almost giddy.
"I think that this might be a good thing... I think maybe we can be more of a family if we aren't always trying to be the best alpha's child. It felt like no matter which way we moved, or which opinion we held, it was always wrong. I- I didn't even realize how terrible that always felt until-"
Oops, there it was again. That thought of Peregrine. Sparrow pushed it aside, "Until my vacation. Meeting wolves that had no idea who I was and just getting to talk normally and just- just not being wrong all the time. If I was mad, that was okay, we didn't all have to get along when I wasn't the alpha's kid. We didn't have to have the same views because we led different lives. It was... absolutely amazing, Dad, really."
Sparrow sighed, her smile softening, "I think that because of that, this isn't going to be so bad. I think we'll all have a lot more freedom to be who we want to be and that excites me more than I think anything else ever has."
"Father, I... think I understand. I- uh- am tired too, in a way. That's why I needed this vacation so badly. I can't take the pressure I feel in this pack to always try to be perfect."
Sparrow stopped, a funny smile crossing her face. She looked up towards her father, "Did you know Karabela calls me 'Flamingo' sometimes? I like her. She's never really been crazy with all the drama that keeps happening. Has she even really fought with any of the pack members? Maybe not, so I think she would be a good leader."
The small girl dipped her head again, "I don't know if I'll follow her, though, but not because I don't think she'll be a great leader, I just... Don't know. I feel bad that I couldn't step up and be the heir you needed. I feel like one of us should have and that it could have been any of us, but I don't think I'd be a very imposing alpha anyway."
Sparrow knew she couldn't mention Peregrine, or her pack just yet. Bass couldn't know how torn Sparrow had felt between the two, or that if Karabela got Abaven that she'd feel less at odds and could go join Peregrine's pack. Her father couldn't know about Peregrine and all the feelings that came with that name. Sparrow wasn't sure enough of her own feelings to even think about them, much less convey them to her father.
"I don't think you failed us. I think it's just been very difficult for all of us. I know you love me, and I know you know that I love you. If our family isn't the one in power, maybe we won't fight as much, and maybe Lillianna will settle for well, I don't really know..." Sparrow couldn't hide the small smile that tinged her maw as she thought of Lillianna being out of her life. The thought made her almost giddy.
"I think that this might be a good thing... I think maybe we can be more of a family if we aren't always trying to be the best alpha's child. It felt like no matter which way we moved, or which opinion we held, it was always wrong. I- I didn't even realize how terrible that always felt until-"
Oops, there it was again. That thought of Peregrine. Sparrow pushed it aside, "Until my vacation. Meeting wolves that had no idea who I was and just getting to talk normally and just- just not being wrong all the time. If I was mad, that was okay, we didn't all have to get along when I wasn't the alpha's kid. We didn't have to have the same views because we led different lives. It was... absolutely amazing, Dad, really."
Sparrow sighed, her smile softening, "I think that because of that, this isn't going to be so bad. I think we'll all have a lot more freedom to be who we want to be and that excites me more than I think anything else ever has."