Dear Brother
08-22-2016, 11:44 AM
Lark didn't bring up Lillianna either. Sparrow was a little grateful, but it felt more like the subject was an abscess waiting to fester and pop. She was glad her brother didn't reject her touch. She didn't really know what she would do if he did.
Lark opened up to her, saying the whole situation sucked. He said that he didn't think Karabela deserved the pack, "Well, why doesn't she," Sparrow protested a little too fast. The small girl licked her lips, "Sorry... I do want to know your reasoning though. Father sought you to be the leader, so maybe you have another position on this that I'm missing." Her words were honest. She wasn't too keen on keeping so many secrets from her family at this point, but she was tired of dancing around feelings, too. If they had to hash things out, Sparrow just wanted to do it openly from now on.
"If you're not ready now, but Dad thinks Karabela is, then I really don't know what to say. I mean- You've always supported Dad, so I'm unsure how to feel now if you two are at odds. I'm usually the one who disagrees with him." Sparrow chuckled a bit. It was true, she thought. Lark and Bass were fairly alike in personalities.
"If you stepped up, I'm sure you'd be a fine alpha, but if you don't want to, then I guess whatever Dad decides is what we should deem as best... but maybe having two wolves compete wouldn't be a bad idea, either."
Sparrow shrugged, "I mean, Dad favors Karabela and you favor Tinaro. Why not, if the two are willing, have a competition of sorts?"
Lark asked what she wanted to happen, and Sparrow gave it considerable thought before speaking, "Really, if you really want to know," Sparrow began, a sotr of twisted smile coming up on her face, "I kind of wish the whole pack was just our family and no one else. If we never met anyone else, wouldn't we have stuck together, and been closer to each other?"
Sparrow shifted, her eyes dropping to the ground, "It's unrealistic. We were raised to be good and to be this or that, but every time we did something, the pack was there, judging us as the alpha's kids. Looking back, that really sucked. If we disagreed with Dad, then how dare we, but if we agreed with him, then we were blindly following him, it always seemed." The chocolate and cream girl sighed, "I don't think I even had any friends ever really. I thought having my siblings would be enough forever, but then even we grew apart. What about friends? Lovers? None of us have pups, Lark. I mean, that's fine, but I can't help but feel like we missed out on something crazy important.
"I really do love this pack, but when I left, when I met other wolves who didn't know who I was, when those wolves became friends, and when I realized I cared about them, it was a totally new feeling. I didn't care about them because they were in my pack or in my family. We even had different ideals and it was completely okay. We weren't competing to be the best or the most right because we were each separately in charge of our lives. It was... nearly intoxicating to have that freedom."
Sparrow thought about the pack. She had really liked it, hadn't she? There were benefits to being in a pack, sure, but she was unsure of how she would have felt if her father wasn't the alpha.
"You were always expected to lead and become the alpha, but I felt like I was always expected to just follow and any time I spoke my mind, I felt like someone was always behind me telling me I was wrong. For that, I hate this place, but because it's where I grew up, and where the ones I love the most live, that's home enough, pack or no pack. But also..."
But also what? How could she explain the conflict she felt thinking about choosing between here and Aerie? How could she possibly explain that? Her family, or some strangers that made her feel real and not like she was a huge mistake? Her blood, or some wolves that made her heart beat fast at times, and her blood boil at others? How could she possibly explain that?
"What if you fall in love with someone, Lark? What if Finch falls in love and she and her mate decide they want to live, or even run a pack of their own? Rhythm left our family. A lot of our family has turned away, but I don't think it was always a bad thing like we were led to believe. What if Starling found happiness when he left? What do we do or think then?"
Lark opened up to her, saying the whole situation sucked. He said that he didn't think Karabela deserved the pack, "Well, why doesn't she," Sparrow protested a little too fast. The small girl licked her lips, "Sorry... I do want to know your reasoning though. Father sought you to be the leader, so maybe you have another position on this that I'm missing." Her words were honest. She wasn't too keen on keeping so many secrets from her family at this point, but she was tired of dancing around feelings, too. If they had to hash things out, Sparrow just wanted to do it openly from now on.
"If you're not ready now, but Dad thinks Karabela is, then I really don't know what to say. I mean- You've always supported Dad, so I'm unsure how to feel now if you two are at odds. I'm usually the one who disagrees with him." Sparrow chuckled a bit. It was true, she thought. Lark and Bass were fairly alike in personalities.
"If you stepped up, I'm sure you'd be a fine alpha, but if you don't want to, then I guess whatever Dad decides is what we should deem as best... but maybe having two wolves compete wouldn't be a bad idea, either."
Sparrow shrugged, "I mean, Dad favors Karabela and you favor Tinaro. Why not, if the two are willing, have a competition of sorts?"
Lark asked what she wanted to happen, and Sparrow gave it considerable thought before speaking, "Really, if you really want to know," Sparrow began, a sotr of twisted smile coming up on her face, "I kind of wish the whole pack was just our family and no one else. If we never met anyone else, wouldn't we have stuck together, and been closer to each other?"
Sparrow shifted, her eyes dropping to the ground, "It's unrealistic. We were raised to be good and to be this or that, but every time we did something, the pack was there, judging us as the alpha's kids. Looking back, that really sucked. If we disagreed with Dad, then how dare we, but if we agreed with him, then we were blindly following him, it always seemed." The chocolate and cream girl sighed, "I don't think I even had any friends ever really. I thought having my siblings would be enough forever, but then even we grew apart. What about friends? Lovers? None of us have pups, Lark. I mean, that's fine, but I can't help but feel like we missed out on something crazy important.
"I really do love this pack, but when I left, when I met other wolves who didn't know who I was, when those wolves became friends, and when I realized I cared about them, it was a totally new feeling. I didn't care about them because they were in my pack or in my family. We even had different ideals and it was completely okay. We weren't competing to be the best or the most right because we were each separately in charge of our lives. It was... nearly intoxicating to have that freedom."
Sparrow thought about the pack. She had really liked it, hadn't she? There were benefits to being in a pack, sure, but she was unsure of how she would have felt if her father wasn't the alpha.
"You were always expected to lead and become the alpha, but I felt like I was always expected to just follow and any time I spoke my mind, I felt like someone was always behind me telling me I was wrong. For that, I hate this place, but because it's where I grew up, and where the ones I love the most live, that's home enough, pack or no pack. But also..."
But also what? How could she explain the conflict she felt thinking about choosing between here and Aerie? How could she possibly explain that? Her family, or some strangers that made her feel real and not like she was a huge mistake? Her blood, or some wolves that made her heart beat fast at times, and her blood boil at others? How could she possibly explain that?
"What if you fall in love with someone, Lark? What if Finch falls in love and she and her mate decide they want to live, or even run a pack of their own? Rhythm left our family. A lot of our family has turned away, but I don't think it was always a bad thing like we were led to believe. What if Starling found happiness when he left? What do we do or think then?"