Breaking Me Down
Tanaraq waited as the girl set off after listening to her request. She wasn't sure if she should follow or not, so she remained where she was. She didn't have to wait long for the girl to return, and quickly the out of breath Finch explained to her what each herb did. Tan listened carefully to the instructions, sharp eyes watching carefully to make sure she didn't miss anything. It sounded easy enough, surely there would be no problem. She nodded her head in thanks to Finch, "Thank you. You're a real life saver." She didn't wait any further as she grasped the bundle carefully and securely in her talons before making her way back to the pair of wolves.
The touch from Bass was comforting. With his head resting over her, she felt a little better. A little safer. But her heart still ached, and she didn't know when that would ever heal. Betrayal seemed to be a constant part of her life, first Newol, and now her kids. Or at least, one of them so far. That was how she felt. The loneliness she often felt was too much, and all she truly wanted was a family that would stick by her, maybe not forever, but longer then they were now. Was that too much to ask? Perhaps. Perhaps she was setting her dreams too high. But that's what she'd always been, a hopeful dreamer. It was all that had kept her going, and even when it wasn't quite what she wanted, she still kept that hope. She felt like she was calming a little as he comforting licked her. It was...strange. Nobody had really ever tried this much to really comfort her, and it was so new to her that she didn't know what to think. But she allowed it, and she wouldn't pull away too much. It felt...nice. To feel like someone truly cared instead of just saying things that might or might not help. Honestly, she didn't think anyone in Ivalice had the kind of wisdom and experiences that Bass did. Half of them didn't even have kids. And Vereux? He hardly ever talked about his, so she felt like he wouldn't really understand.
She then felt him move, her head pulling up to look at him as he growled at her. Her ears flattened, wanting to look away but she knew she needed to look at him as he talked. He told her she did nothing wrong. But if that were true, why did she always feel like she was doing everything wrong half the time? Maybe deep down, she still had those insecurities she thought she had gotten rid of. Maybe she expected too much, and because of that, always got hurt in some form or another. She would look away as these thoughts came to her, question after question flooded her head.
She remained quiet until his next set of words, amber gaze returning to meet his. "All my life I fought for myself. I fought and I struggled to survive, Bass. Never have I expected anyone to carry me through anything, and nobody has even to this day." When she thought about it, it was pretty much true. She thought Newol would be the one, especially after that bond she felt they shared the first time they met, and then the spark when they had found each other again. But that had all been a lie. And then now with Vereux, he wasn't exactly the most stable wolf around. He always seemed to be depressed, and just took things as they came. Accepting whatever he thought he 'deserved' which was far from admirable. She felt like she was the only one ever comforting him, and never the other way around. And while she didn't mind comforting him, she just wished it had been reciprocated when she needed it. But of course, he wouldn't know that unless she told him. Until then, he would remain oblivious. Maybe that was why she ran away instead of going to him after the fight and everything. Starting her pack had made her feel confident, until half of the members decided they didn't need to do anything let alone listen to her. That was when her confidence began to wane, it made her really think that she was unsuitable for the position...there were many things she started to think about, but before she could voice them, Tan had returned.
"Sorry if I took longer then expected. Here are the herbs." The white bird unrolled the bundle, carefully spreading out the materials for them. "Your daughter said this can be used for the lesser wounds if they're still bleeding. The horsetail must be crushed, and then applied to your shoulder." She pointed at both in turn, moving them a little closer to Bass. The other two she pushed towards Avalon, "And you, need to eat the flower plants. Lavender and meadowsweet, they'll help you." Looking between them, she was sure they'd be able to manage now. "I'm going to go find some food for us." She eyed Bass then, the way a mother looked at her daughters guest as if judging him with a sharp look. "Hm.." Without another word, she took off into the sky again until she blended with the stars.
Avalon watched as Tan flew away, a sigh escaping her. "She's been more help to me then anyone else back home." She returned her gaze partly to him, partly to the ground between them. "It doesn't even feel like home anymore...I'm living with a group of strangers." |
