Hate Me
| Avalon |
|
She watched him carefully. Watched as he went from one reaction to the next. The flattening of his ears, to the obvious frustration he began to pour from him. And yet, all she did was watch him as his questions tumbled out of his mouth. And subconsciously, her hackles would begin to rise as each question was put between them. She fought herself, trying to keep the snarl and bared teeth from showing. It felt like she was warring with herself --Alphess and mother-- clashing on opposite sides. She hated this feeling, hated it with a passion. But which side did she take? Which side was the right one to choose? Between duty to the pack by dealing with what she felt was betrayal, and her duty as a mother to deal with this in a manner only a mother might be able to solve…
She was torn. So she let him say what he wanted, let his questions fall from his lips and left them unanswered until the end. Because she knew that if she answered in between, her anger would not allow him to finish. Finally, when he was done, she responded. “I care more than you think! I always have, and I've always tried to do my best for you all!” She spat, her emotions beginning to spill over and take control. “My shoulder is the least of my concerns! It will heal, and it will scar. That is what Mercy wanted!”
She was breathing heavily now. Not from pain nor exhaustion from her fight, no. But from the emotions that threatened to boil over the surface. “You ask me what is wrong with me, but I should be asking you that question, Lykos!” Her hackles were lifted, though she had tried to will them not to and failed. “Evidently you've told her things. What lies did you tell her? She strongly believes that you'd be a better alpha than I, so tell me. Have I been such a bad mother all this time to you? All the time I spent raising you alone because your father decided to leave and abandon us the moment you were born? I did everything I could to give you a good life, that is why Ivalice stands!”
She was failing. And she felt she was failing in more ways than one. Maybe she did fail as a mother. And maybe she was failing as an alpha, too. “Is this how I am repaid? Have I been so terrible that you'd follow in the footsteps of betrayers and wolves like Mercy? With little respect? Do you think I can be walked all over?” Her tail lashed, the anger clear. Never had she felt this sort of anger, not since the day Valentine had found her in a rage over Newol. “You spend so much thought on the chance that Vereux is a traitor, when he has done nothing to you or the clan! Yet here you stand...you're a contradiction to yourself.” |
