Hate Me

Her words made him stiffen. So, just because it was a different pack meant that it didn’t matter? That she would trust him unconditionally? Where was the intelligence in that? “So just because he’s done nothing to us yet means we should have given him our trust off the bat? No - that’s sheer idiocy.” Which, apparently, she didn’t understand. She was going to get herself killed one day, or hurt so badly she wished she was dead with the belief of that. She’ll pick up some stray outside a pack who had a history of betraying others, and will just go ‘oh it was the past’ and then they’ll betray her with no hesitation.

When she growled again, he glanced up at her face. Seems like he hit a nerve, huh? Didn’t like losing to Mercy. ‘Weak’. It was wrong for him to think that, but the thought flitted through his mind anyway. He knew, consciously, what it as; it was a subconscious yearning to grasp onto anything to keep himself in control - even contempt, if need be. He knew that later, he would think no such thing, but right now he was a creature filling up with contempt and ice, of cold steel, and so it went through his mind, and he made no move to stop it. Not yet. He needed this layer, to stay in control. He needed it to remain steel.

It was good, too, that he did so. Her next words would have angered him, but now they were merely irritating. “Do recall that this was shortly after the meeting in which you publicly chastised us for mistrusting Vereux. You in fact told us to not talk like that again - voicing our doubts and concerns about wolves. Therefore, I felt I could not go to you without being told the same thing you already told us once before. It was only natural and reasonable that I would expect a reaction all four of us had received before.” His voice sounded strange, even to him. Robotic, even. Flat, emotionless, coldly logical - not a shred of feeling was in it. It was utterly foreign; even when he was holding the shell up there was some shred of emotion, even if it was just a non-hostile neutrality. It was still something… here, right now, there was nothing.

And she moved on to threats. Still, he watched her. Almost casually, he wondered what happened. Was he just so drained from the amount of emotion that it was just… gone? It was certainly a curious phenomenon. It caused… reactions he would not otherwise have had his mind not apparently gone into lockdown mode. “Then so be it.” He sounded almost callous, uncaring. And truthfully, he was, about that. This thread about the past being held against him… as if it wouldn’t have anyway. It would have regardless. This threat was meaningless and pointless. Even he, were he not suddenly numb, would have been aware of that.

Her next words, though, did get through the boy, and he tensed, ever so slightly. Bitterness flooded his mind, and his eyes narrowed. It seemed her words before were lies. About how it was his choice, and that she supported it. It seemed that it was indeed used against him. That he was not a loyal creature because he did not abandon the pack he had pledged himself to when he was younger. Because he did not blindly follow the family, instead choosing the pack - which had been a much better family, or so it was becoming apparent. On top of that, she claimed that she believed that the others would be better at the rank. He chuckled mirthlessly. “Then give it to them,” he answered dismissively. If she wanted to give them it so bad, then so be it. He never asked for the position. He felt like he had no choice but to take it, because he had to choose on the spot - and he did not want to be a disappointment by not taking it. He also did not want to lower Avalon’s credibility publicly… of course, she turned around and ruined their credibility. Him, and his brothers’. He saw, now, that perhaps he should have rejected it, without giving any fucks towards what the pack thought about her and her decisions.

It was clear her words hit a nerve when she froze and an ice entered her demeanor. He watched quietly, simply staring at her. A stupid whore? No, that involved screwing every male she ever saw, not just the ones who wanted to screw her. Know her mates she claimed to, but apparently not well enough to know that one would ditch her, and the other was a traitor and oathbreaker. It was obvious that any words to clarify his words would not be listened to, so he said nothing… even when she compared him to a traitor and someone who ran. Anger crossed his face, though none of the hurt did; if she thought that he took after either man she took as a mate she was highly mistaken.

More anger could be glimpsed when she went on about him not caring about family. Since fucking when? Was it because he believed two of his brothers were idiots? How the fuck did that mean he did not care? He growled low in his throat, his eyes fixated on her, like pieces of sharp flint. More of it - her, not being the alpha he wished for… which in turn made him disloyal? The fuck? If she wanted to insult him, that was certainly the way to do it - the low, warning rumble had not eased, and still sounded deep in his throat as he was stripped of the Heir title. That he actually did not give a damn about… but he sure as hell cared about what she said before.

It was that realization that made him realize - he did care, and he was currently letting his guard down. Abruptly, the growl stopped, and the anger disappeared in a rush as a suspiciously blank face smoothed across his face. She went on to say he was demoted to Insubordinate - and it was there he laughed. Derisive, almost mocking (but not quite) laughter. “No, mother, I will not be demoted to ‘Insubordinate’. I will not be demoted to anything, for as of this moment I declare that I am leaving Ivalice. I thought you’d hear and understand what I was saying before - again, you are not the sort of leader I want, or the sort of leader I want to follow. Have I made myself clear now?” He certainly hoped so. And if she dared stop him, if she dared to forbid him from leaving, then she would grow to regret such a decision.

"Speech" | Think