Lay down your old chains
10-11-2016, 08:56 PM
She wished she didn't have to feel this way, wished she could finally live her life, and Caelum honestly couldn't decide if it was her inability to do this or the fact that she even wanted to move on that made her so despise herself at times. Often the woman found herself wondering if perhaps it was all her fault. Maybe if she'd been there... It was all in the past now though. Now she was left to pick up the pieces of herself, she knew that she needed to put herself back together soon because she really couldn't keep going like this. It was just that knowing where or how to start seemed like an impossible task at the moment.
Quiet sobs continued to break up the relative silence of the cave for a long time. She didn't want to move, didn't want to do anything. It was only when she heard the sound of familiar paw-steps that she would consider rising from the cold floor of the cave. Her body didn't seem to agree that she should leave her spot, her shoulders shaking still from her lamenting. Only when she heard the deep voice, surprisingly soft and gentle now, that the pale woman would raise her head, looking at him with shining blue eyes so filled with sorrow one might think the emotion itself would begin to overflow from them. For a few moments she lay there in silence, staring at the only other being in this land that she knew and trusted and not knowing how to express what she felt.
Her words were so quiet they would likely not have been heard if it wasn't for the quiet that the cavern offered, and an occasional sniffle would interrupt her as she spoke, "I... I feel so... weak. Have I failed you? Everyone trusted me and I wasn't... wasn't there in time. And I don't know what to do now. I'm no good as a leader, am I?"
Self-disparaging thoughts plagued her mind so frequently and unlike when she was out in the open, when she sucked it up and bottled up her feelings in the hopes that she would forget them for a little while, right now she was having a hard time even speaking. She missed her old life, missed how content she had felt most days. Of course Caelum also desperately wanted to move forward, needed to. She just didn't know how or if she even deserved it.
Quiet sobs continued to break up the relative silence of the cave for a long time. She didn't want to move, didn't want to do anything. It was only when she heard the sound of familiar paw-steps that she would consider rising from the cold floor of the cave. Her body didn't seem to agree that she should leave her spot, her shoulders shaking still from her lamenting. Only when she heard the deep voice, surprisingly soft and gentle now, that the pale woman would raise her head, looking at him with shining blue eyes so filled with sorrow one might think the emotion itself would begin to overflow from them. For a few moments she lay there in silence, staring at the only other being in this land that she knew and trusted and not knowing how to express what she felt.
Her words were so quiet they would likely not have been heard if it wasn't for the quiet that the cavern offered, and an occasional sniffle would interrupt her as she spoke, "I... I feel so... weak. Have I failed you? Everyone trusted me and I wasn't... wasn't there in time. And I don't know what to do now. I'm no good as a leader, am I?"
Self-disparaging thoughts plagued her mind so frequently and unlike when she was out in the open, when she sucked it up and bottled up her feelings in the hopes that she would forget them for a little while, right now she was having a hard time even speaking. She missed her old life, missed how content she had felt most days. Of course Caelum also desperately wanted to move forward, needed to. She just didn't know how or if she even deserved it.