Breaking Me Down
She only responded to his question with a grunt. Not really wanting to answer. She knew she was getting grumpy, mostly because of her Rollercoaster of emotions and everything that had been happening. She must look and sound crazy. This was hardly a side she wanted others to see...much less another alpha. She began to think that she must look weak in front of him. Yeah...this was totally a side to show someone else. Would the word spread that she was weak and vulnerable now? Or would it remain a secret atop this cliff? She supposed time would tell. She also knew she was probably being unfair to Bass too...after all, he was just trying to help and she was practically chewing his head off like some crazy black widow or something. "I'm sorry for getting snappy..." She would say quickly, her words sincere. She forced herself to try and relax as Bass came to sit next to her, and like him she lowered her hackles and took deep breaths to try and calm herself. How long had it been since she last felt like this? She had done so well to keep a reign on her emotions for so long. The depression, the anger, the torture had been nearly absent from her life for some time, and then it all seemed to return in a flash.
When Bass gave the go ahead, she would look from the sky to the ground between her paws. Her tail curled around her feet, body shivering slightly. She had been battling with her heart for a long time, and it never seemed to settle quite right with her. "I'm not...sure how to say this...I just...it's been bothering me for some time..." She sighed, throat tightening a little as she tried to figure out how to say it. "I don't think I love Vereux like I thought I did...I feel like....like I was in love with the thought of being in love...and I realize that the more time passes, the more my feelings about this grow...I can't shake the feeling, Bass. I feel stupid...I was so sure that this was it. But...it just doesn't feel right." She shook her head, amber gaze returning to the sky once more. "I've fought hard to keep him safe. Protecting him as much as I could. But I...can't do it anymore. We're too different. I want to feel like I can depend on someone to actually stand up and fight with me, not stand behind me. I don't want someone who will just lie on their back and accept whatever happens. If Katja comes for him, I don't know what I'd do...I can't keep trying to save him when I feel like he doesn't want to be saved." There. She said it. It was a mouthful, but she had been wanting to get it off her chest for the past few weeks. "Avalon"||"Tanaraq" |
