Hazy Shade of Winter

Their lives, and their very identities, had once been deeply intertwined. They walked the same path, two imperfect parts of a whole that had created such perfect love and harmony. Together, they'd felt unstoppable. It wasn't at all that they had been without fault - they'd had arguments and tribulations, but in the end they'd always worked through them. Zephyr was often more brash and sharp-tongued than necessary, while Caelum was a much gentler soul, though he'd always liked thinking he brought out a more primal side of her. He remembered briefly coaxing her to try new things, dangerous things.. though he'd never actually put her in danger. The thought almost brought a smile to his face, as he found himself transporting years into the past, but he shook his head abruptly and brought himself back to reality. His lips twitched, barely, as though torn between snarling and smiling - the pain ate away at him and he found his limbs quivering more visibly now.

She didn't answer his statement, which caused him unease. He half-expected her to berate him, to continue telling him he'd been wrong, to threaten to leave, to.. he didn't know what she was capable of. The last time had given her an idea what he was capable of. Such rage and lack of mercy, for a woman he'd once given his heart to. Did she fear him? Should she? Even Zephyr didn't know what he was capable of. The depth of hurt he'd harbored to himself, suddenly returning and welling up like an overflowing puddle, was hard to keep inside.

It was easier to react when she was predictable. When she cried, when she cowered - or even when she screamed at him as she had for a moment. But this... this was somewhere in-between and it left him stunned, helpless in the face of her composure. He was even more amazed when she held her ground, not moving as his nose grazed her own. He wasn't blind to the tears that spilled down her cheeks, though she still stood, for a moment at least. She felt like home, like a home that was no longer his, but one he had dreamed about many times. And yet she felt like a stranger - like something that didn't belong to him, but he wanted to take anyway. Was it because the thought of her spending time with someone else felt like a thorn in his heart? 'I felt so lonely,' she told him, and he inhaled sharply.

He didn't know what to say, but when she moved to press into him - such a simple touch, one that a friend might do toward another in time of need - he quivered, visibly now.  "Caelum.." he started, as though protesting, but her scent was too familiar for him to deny, her touch too warm and too tender.  "Don't.." They weren't thinking clearly. They were rushing things, and both of them were still brimming with anger and the need for answers. But... god, she fit against him perfectly. He hadn't been with another woman since her. He'd never had any interest, not until now. He felt her sag slightly against his chest, and tried to resist the urge to tuck her closer to him. His head finally fell, helpless, against her own as he took a deeper whiff of her scent. How had he ever let her walk away?

He felt weak, like a frail child as she moved away and beckoned for him to follow. Once he wouldn't have questioned her wishes. They'd been equals back then, but he wouldn't have denied her something so simple. But now each step felt harder and harder, though he moved toward her as she fell to the ground as though all her energy had been sapped away. She wanted him to talk, though he wanted nothing but silence, to feel her warm body against his and to feel her heart beating against his chest. Zephyr was enraptured by her familiarity, by the feeling she gave him that everything could somehow be forgiven and repaired. He knew the hope was foolish, but he was taken prisoner by it. Slowly he made his way to her, all but crumpling to the ground in front of her. His voice was hoarse when he finally spoke.  "What do you want to talk about?" he asked, uncertainly, his eyes closing as he pushed himself closer to her, wanting to feel her touch again as badly as he wanted to breath. He didn't care about being denied, about what anyone thought, or even about what he thought. Surely he would regret this later, would wish he'd yelled and screamed and blamed her for everything, but right now he wanted to forget all that and to remember how things had once been.