Jar Of Hearts
Who was he even kidding, he needed her. He had been trying to separate himself from her before he had gotten sick to try and sort through all these feelings that had been running rampant within himself. He had been torn between having his freedom stripped of him and falling for this woman he barely knew. But in his weeks being sick he had wanted nothing more then to have Aislyn next to him, to have her at his side even if she was unable to help him. Just her presence made him feel better, lifted his spirits. He could never leave her, could never be away from her for more then a few days. He never wanted to have to again... She nestled into his ruff and he curled his neck around her's tenderly as she spoke. Yes he could have called to her, god he couldn't even express how much he had wanted to call to her. It had taken every fibre of his being to not call out for her, to get her to chase those fevered dreams away. "I don't think that half trained pup would have been much help..." he murmured with a sigh. The only healers he had heard mentioned was Erani and that youngster she had been training before being demoted. She turned around and pressed her body into his, her curves somehow seeming to slot perfectly against his own form. "I don't know if I've ever told you, but my mother was an amazing healer. People used to come from every pack to seek her advice even after she lost her sight. I grew up with everyone telling me stories of my mother before she lost her sight... Not that she wasn't just as amazing when she was blind, she just couldn't travel as much" he said with a wistful sigh, gazing at the lands as he spoke. He had grown up with such huge expectations, he had been in line to take over his mothers pack when he turned 3 or when she thought he was ready. He was to be the next healer after Lux lost interest in learning about herbs. Friction had wanted nothing more then to make his mother proud, to follow in her paw steps and be the Vale's next big healer. All those dreams that would never come to light... He sighed softly, returning back to the present as she pulled her face away from his, shying away from his touch. A frown drew his brows together as words fell from her tongue mournfully. It was true, he had been an awful husband and and even worse father. After Liberty's birth he had been particularly scarce, the appearance of the founder of this pack at the birth had instilled too many concerns in his mind. She had moved away from him... Cairo had appeared and she had put space between them almost like she was ashamed of him. Would this pack always just see him as Aislyn's baby daddy? Was that all Aislyn saw him as? And then came the whopper of a question. Was this real? "Sometimes its almost too real..." he murmured, tipping his nose to bump hers tenderly. "I never want to have to be away from you again but Aislyn I can't stay in these lands for the rest of my life." he said softly, hoping she would understand. He didn't want to leave her but he wanted these chains gone, this weight that made him want to leave. He would have stayed with her forever even without promising to join Valhalla and never leaving the lands. But now it was that promise that terrified him, his inability to come and go as he pleased. He knew for a fact that if he had to ability to come and go his desire to leave would probably vanish... "I feel like a kid again when my mother always told me not to leave the cave, I would't leave because she told me not to but I wanted nothing more then to leave and adventure. Then once i was old enough and we were allowed I never ventured far from home" he said with a chuckle. He had always been a bit of a mixed up pup, but it seemed like he was still like that even as an adult. He would love to be able to bring his daughter to the lake and fish or to bring her to the place where he had met her mother. He took a step around her, coming to stand before the white female he had fallen so hard and so fast for. Those blue eyes of hers that their daughter had inherited were sorrowful and full of questions. He didn't want her to ever have to question this again, he didn't want her to worry about him not being there for her when she needed him. Whenever she called he would come to her, it was as simple as that. So maybe it was time to try this again... "Aislyn... I don't think you'll ever know how much I love you, but if I could spend the rest of my life trying to show you then I would be the happiest man alive. I want to be there for you for everything, I want to be a bigger part of this pack as well. I tried this once before and failed, we got kind of interrupted... But Ais... I would love if you would carry my sire name just as our daughter does." he said, words strong but slightly hesitant. What if she said no? He drew in a deep breath, trying to summon up the courage to ask what he really wanted to ask her. What he had wanted to ask her since they had met almost. But it had seemed too soon then. "Will you be my mate?" he finally asked, eyes holding her gaze as he waited for the answer that would make or break him. What would he even do if she said no? |