ardent

Gotta stop holding me the way you do



Gethin


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12-02-2016, 01:11 AM
#9


You've got a hold of me, don't even know your power.

If he could throw his arms up in exasperation he would have. He didn't know how else to get what he was trying to say through her head. He wasn't talking about physically seeing him. He knew she could see him. It wasn't like he had been fucking hiding. In fact, he had been trying to do the exact opposite. What it had ended up being was him following her around like a lost pup. This wasn't what he wanted. Watching her self destruct, throwing herself into violent fights, all the yelling and screaming. He didn't know if she had been with anyone else and he honestly didn't want to ponder it.

He wanted to shake his head at everything she said about being the broken one here and how he deserved so much more than her. How could she not get it? It wasn't until she kept going and talked about his "ugly mug" floating through her head and how she had poured out her heart that he could stop for a moment and feel like he wasn't just alone in this. She was still furious and stomping and yelling, but that was Mercy. He knew that. Every time he yelled back she was just going to yell more. He had learned that a long time ago.

He took in a deep breath and let it out through his nose, making himself pause for a second longer to calm down. On the outside at least he appeared a bit more calm, but his shoulders were still tight with tension and inside he was fucking terrified. His gaze never left her face while he tried desperately to come up with something to say. "We can't keep living our lives feeling like we don't deserve eachother. We can't keep thinking that we're pieces of shit and that the other one can do so much better. Every time you talk about how you're not good enough for me... That's how I feel about myself toward you. We can't keep living like that."

He wanted to reach out to her so badly. He wanted to press his face into her fur, but he held himself back. He didn't want to push her any farther than he already had. "I just... I just want you. And I know you're going to tell me I have you and I've bled you dry, but I don't. I've seen you. Walking around the same haunts over and over, searching for something, obviously upset, obviously thinking about someone or something else. Ever since I found you after your pack disappeared... Something changed. Something changed and you haven't told me what." His jaw tightened as he forced his emotions back into check. "Just let me be here for you. Just fucking hear me when I tell you how you're the only one I need and the center of my world and believe me."

I stand a hundred feet, but I fall when I'm around you.

"SPEAK"