Gotta stop holding me the way you do

*Mercy I* · 12-02-2016, 01:41 AM

Mercy could almost feel his exasperation with her, but honestly she couldn't help it. Anger was easy to feel, it burned all other emotions out of her so she could just be mad. She didn't have to feel pain or disappointment, nor her broken heart. It was just all fire and nothing else, and it made her feel better. She didn't have to deal with all this bullshit and yet here they were again, fighting the same fight. She was mad for the sake of it now, watching the set in his shoulders as he talked to her in a calm matter. It would seem that he learned that screaming at her just makes it worse. Clever boy. A loud sigh blew out of her mouth as she spoke, her head hanging slightly as if in defeat. He was right, she was tired about getting pissed over the same thing. It seemed like neither of them felt self worth, but being through the shit that she had, that they both had, she couldn't blame either of them. They both had fortresses of iron and steel that they promised no one would get through. And now this. She flinched when he called her out on being different, floating through the knolls and the range alike with one wolf in mind. Gethin wanted her to talk about it, to open up and let him in to the fucked up little world inside her head. Her whole body trembled at the thought, and still she didn't look up. What could she even tell him? Where to begin? Mercy knew that he had a brother, but the relationship that she had with Revenge was far different than most. A part of her didn't want to admit to it, to say out loud just how close they had been. But the bastard at walked her right into a corner. She stayed silent for awhile, looking at the poor grass she had killed in her fit of... whatever that was. At least it wasn't his leg.

Ever so slowly she lifted her head, gazing at those ruby red eyes that had haunted her in so many ways. She didn't look at him now, casting her gaze off of him. She didn't want to see him as she spoke, her ears clinging to her head. "Imperium gave me a purpose, a reason to fight and better myself. I had wolves to protect and a rank to fight for. But now... there is nothing for me to prove. I don't have anything to strive for anymore. Fighting is just for me now, still working to prove myself I guess. But no one is here anymore. My brother..." she grew ridged, a low growl vibrating in her throat. "He promised that he would be here for me forever, that no matter what he would be at my side. I loved him so fucking much, I wanted him all to myself but that stupid fucking Esti strolled in and was fucking my brother in front of our den. That was the last time I saw him, after we got into a fight over her... He just... left me. After everything, after how much he told me he cared for me. How could he do that?" she asked, not really looking for an answer. Her purple eyes squeezed shut as she pushed the red hot tears away, refusing to cry over him. "He was the only thing that kept me going some days. He left our parents after I did just to make sure I was okay. Revenge worked so hard to make sure I was okay after every fight, getting mad when I let wounds fester. But honestly... I liked it when he worried about me, when he fret over me. It made me feel wanted, like his words really were true. He was the only wolf that knew me outside and in, we could communicate with just a single look."

Mercy grew silent, the tears slipping down her black marked face as she looked towards the horizon. She grit her teeth together again, a snort pushing through her nose. "Now all I want to do if rip his fucking face off and get some answers. But I never do get them, I always am left wondering why. Is it me? Am I so terrible that I push everyone away that my own brother had to get away from me too?" the pale girl almost choked on the words as they left her lips, shaking her head ever so slightly. "I am always just left in the dust without so much as a single lead. No words, no clues. The just disappear without a trace, never to be found. My own fucking parents never gave me answers, and now I missed the chance. My mother is dead and my father is who the fuck knows. Probably found another poor bitch to impregnate and then leave to her own devices," Mercy laughed, but it was without humor as she finally looked over at Gethin. "Imagine that, I did end up like my bastard of a father. Imagine that."

"SPEAK"

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Gotta stop holding me the way you do

Mercy I