we're smiling but we're close to tears
Her heart constricted around itself. Her smile disappeared the moment his heavy aroma met her nose. The world seemed to go still around her, the sound of the waves crashing up against the shore becoming a mere blur of incomprehensible noise in the background. She could only smell him. Not the salty water that wrapped itself around the island, not the grainy sand or the frosty smell of winter but Bass and only Bass. She didn't tear her eyes away from the water. She just stared, her ears twitching aimlessly as she felt the presence of her The day he found her was the day she had been both equally anticipating and fearing. She longed to see him again, the man she married and still loved to this day. But she acknowledged that he probably would not feel the same about her. She acknowledged he most likely hated her for leaving him with their kids, leaving him alone without a word countless times now. No; she realized there was no way he could feel the same about her now than he did several years ago. Over time she had coped with that fact. Crying for hours, dealing with dreams that warped her so severely she refused to sleep for long periods of time, running and pacing back and forth until sores had covered her paws and she was exhausted: she's coped, yes, but not completely. Any mother, no matter how long she is separated from her kids, still loves them and wishes to see them grow. Her poor children. Her youngest didn't even know her because she had disappeared only a few months after they were birthed. Many would ask why the fucking fuck she left. Not only leave, but leave without saying anything to anyone, not even her own husband. The answer: she didn't know. She'd first left due to being absolutely overwhelmed, then left several other times for selfish reasons. She wanted to see her parents, she wanted to see the world, she wanted to have a break.. selfish reasons. Selfish, disgusting reasons. Bass, all of her children, all of Abaven had to deal with her mistakes and actions and the effect they left on everyone who loved her. She was getting older. Weary, tired, and she decided to come home. She hoped to at some point see her kids again while she was here. She hoped to see Bass; maybe not while he was aware of it, but still.. see him, and see how he was dealing with everything. Mostly to see if he had moved on. In some ways she wouldn't have minded if he'd found another women to be with. If it made him happy it made her happy. But she still loved him. She'd just have to move on herself. Wren finally turned, her minty stare landing on the crumbling form of what used to be her husband. Her ears pinned back against her head. She bit her lip, her body swaying as she fought to keep her emotions under control. Every time she had come back and begged Bass to forgive her she had cried and whined at him. They were always real tears - never to manipulate him. But maybe they were. Sometimes she was unaware of her own cruel actions, just like how she had been when she first left and came back months.. no, years later.
"Burn Baby Burn" |