Reap Just What You Sow
06-22-2013, 02:15 PM
| Gabriel |
|
Gabriel closed his oculars, it was now the male that fell silent, the one whose name he still did not know. His mind supplied him words, jumbled phrases, thoughts and ideas, fragments of memories, pieces of pain. He had tried to please his siblings, he had tried to please him family, he had left because he had been so upset and he hadn't wished to worry them. He wasn't selfish, at least not in his own mind. He kept hurting people, but people hurt him. His siblings, he loved them, he loved Valhalla, he loved his parents, why did they all think he hated them? This was exactly why he was retreating further. No one understood him. No one could understand him. He didn't hate anyone, not even Epiphron, he merely didn't care one way or another if he saw her again, this was how he dealt with his pain, he had been taught no other way and he buried it. It wounded him when his brothers and sisters smashed him into the dirt because they knew how much he hated it, it wounded him when they called him coward and scaredy-cat, it wounded him when his parents did nothing, but he buried such emotions, hid them, locked them away. He had never stopped any of them, he had never stopped loving Valhalla, and yet they made him the villain, the evil doer, because he was subject he no longer wished to associate with Epiphron? Because he was tired of being taunted and teased. He didn't understand them and they didn't understand him and that hurt too... but he didn't know what to do about it, he had never known how to deal with pain, he had never been taught and like everything else, he shoved it down, sealed the box and drained every emotion from exhausted two toned orbs as his eyes slid open. The male stood silent, watching and for the moment Gabriel ignored him, eyes trained upon his mother, ignoring even his sister for now. He lowered his skull, his tail curling between his legs. He was right, he was the mistake, there was something wrong with him, not with everyone else. Tears flooded his young eyes and oozed down his maw. He was just tired of hurting. "I'm sorry mama for being so different... I try to be like you and papa, I try to make you happy but I...I don't know how. I'm sorry I'm such a failure mama." He trembled slightly, muscles quaking, voice cracking. He glanced to the side and down, hiding his eyes, hiding his pain. "Do you hate me mama? Would you be happier if I wasn't here?"
|