These voices

*Elias* · (This post was last modified: 12-25-2016, 05:05 PM by Elias.)

His eyes were as wide as they'd ever been, it seemed.. and all he could do was stand in place as his mind reeled over the events of their last encounter. The voice that told him to leave her alone was getting stronger, but his determination to do the right thing still fought as strong as it could against that voice. He nearly jumped when she said his name, suddenly releasing the breath he'd been holding as he watched the fear change her. 'No, no.. don't fear me.' He shut his eyes, trying to imagine her standing tall and proud in an attempt to trick his mind. Something about cowardice in others made it so hard not to... give them what they wanted. A monster.

He wasn't a monster, he reminded himself. Though her pleading words followed the thought immediately as if to protest. His 'brows furrowed above his closed eyes as he focused on the image of her standing tall and proud, perhaps next to her sister.. anything to keep him from seeing her the way she was now just for a moment, while he gathered himself and fought off the demon that made his limbs shake with a lust for violence. He immediately lowered his frame, sprawling out across the cold mud of late winter as he nestled his huge head between his forelimbs. He completely surrendered, laying on his belly while avoiding looking at her. He took in a deep breath, keeping his father and Eliana in the foreground of his mind as an attempt to remind him that he had people who'd be upset with his actions if he were to hurt her again.

"I didn't come here to hurt you, Zuriel. I promise. I know you have no idea who I am, but if I could change everything- I would. I.. I just wanted to come apologize to you, face to face. I.. couldn't.. stop." The soft cooing of Katar's ghostly voice haunted his ears for the briefest of moments, her soft laughter almost mocking him during this moment. He flicked his ears before lowering them against his marred crown, nuzzling his maw in tighter toward his left paw. He didn't want to hear her right now.

Fuck, why had he come here? Why was he doing this to Zuriel all over again, and what had made him think that he could keep his head straight this time? No, no.. no.. that thought process is what led him to weakness, he reminded himself. He had to be strong. He opened his eyes slowly, his ruby gaze flickering as it shifted over to her feet.

"I know that.. nothing that I can say will change what happened, nothing that I can say will heal you from the trauma of what you've been through. What I did to you is a part of both of our pasts now, and it is all my fault. I can't begin to explain the amount of guilt and rage I've felt, rage toward my own self. You're not the first, and you likely won't be the last. I.. I need help. I'm the one who is weak, Zuriel. Not you."

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These voices

Elias