These voices
12-26-2016, 01:38 PM
His eyes remained determined not to make contact with her own, keeping to her paws and scanning along idly at indentations in the mud. Hunting had always been his go-to when he needed to calm down, so really looking for other tracks in the mud was just another way to calm his anxiety as he waited for her reply. His ears began to grow impatient and indecisive about their placement, flattening and lifting slightly just to check the air for her breathing if he could hear it. He remembered being able to hear her faint breath during their last encounter, was she still just as scared?
When she finally spoke, he lowered his ears down flat and kept himself against the mud, though his muscles seemed to tense along his back beneath his short coat, causing them to prickle slightly out of frustration rather than a threatening display. 'Of course she wouldn't have anything to say,' he thought to himself.. silently going over his options on where to go from here, how to get away from her without her being scared of him, or risking letting his guard down long enough for the darker side of his heart to take over.
For a moment, his thoughts drifted back to the night after he'd killed Katar and ran to the Volcano where they'd buried his father. He wanted to throw himself in that night, having nearly lost hope. He wanted to cure the world of the chaos his mind spurned on a whim, but Boreas was his last hope. Now that he'd fucked that up... was it time to face the truth? That death was the only way to kill the beast within?
Then, she spoke again... in her kind and articulate way of speaking. He felt his heart in his throat as she asked if he'd let her help him, and then confessed that she didn't even know how. The strength in the woman before him astounded him, and this certainly was not something that he'd expected. He reflected on his own words, and he recalled admitting that he needed help but.. to receive it from one of his own victims? His 'brows furrowed as he closed his eyes again, his face tensing some as he thought this over. Was it possible for a healer to heal his mind, just as they heal physical wounds? Was there even a cure outside of death or... did.. did she mean death? Would she kill him?
He opened his eyes slowly, his features softening into his usual look of neutrality as he let them finally lift and settle upon her own intoxicating blue stare. He looked up just enough to see that blue necklace sway along her chest, the delicate piece of jewelry nearly acting like a hypnotizing pendulum while it lulled him into a state of calm. The action was brief, only lasting until it stilled within the clutch of her fur but it left him with enough clarity to speak up again.
"But what if it's not possible, Zuriel? What if healing scars on the mind is no more possible than healing this scar on my chest. It's there, what if it always is? I would let you help me.. I would try to be strong.. I'm just.. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Again." He was quiet for a moment, reflecting.. his eyes drifted down to the swell in her stomach and he flattened his ears again. "I'm sorry.. for this. I don't think they won't all be like me, at least.. I hope not. My brother is the sanest person I've ever met, and my sister although hot-headed at times as the strongest sense of responsibility and heroism I've ever seen in a wolf. Any wolf of my father's bloodline is a strong wolf. We used to be good.. I was supposed to be.. good. Are.. you keeping them?"
Disclaimer: Elias suffers from schizophrenia and occasionally has violent outbursts.
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