I could make you want me
01-10-2017, 05:33 PM
The warmth that she felt while they were in slight contact was something she never wanted to end. There was no doubt in her mind that he had her heart completely - a feeling that seemed to grow stronger with every interaction they had. Perhaps for a while her time with Inverno made her consider the idea that she could let go of her past, let go of any hope she had of returning to this relationship and fixing things, yet deep down she'd never truly let herself believe these things and she could not let go. That wasn't a bad thing in her mind. She didn't ever want to worry that she'd given up on something that could be saved, be it an individual, or a relationship that she'd nearly lost. Now was their chance, a fresh start - however tentative and fragile - was here before them and all they had to do was take hold of it. At first she wanted to be hurt by his reply, face revealing the uncertainty that struck her plain as day. Then again, there was so much heavy stuff standing between the couple, it seemed like a mountain, or maybe several of them, stood between these wolves and any sense of wholeness they might hope to achieve. Shaking her head, Cae looked at him with pleading cyan eyes, hoping to see into his very mind if she just looked hard enough. Did he really feel that way? Sure they'd had more troubles than others... Not everyone experienced the kinds of things they'd experienced. But were their poor reactions to such adversity reason enough to give up on their being together, despite having promised to spend their lives together? Brows knit together as she searching gaze faded into a thoughtful frown. His reaction to her last words answered the question, at least in her mind. The uncomfotable posture that seemed to realease some tension she had failed to see coupled with his admission... He really meant it. It seemed they were both at a loss for where to go next, and how they should repair the damage done. There was a pause as she considered how best to respond when she was in the same predicament. She wanted to try and salvage things so badly, but the tasks seemed monumental. After considerable pondering she slowly responded, "Well... I can't say if this is good or bad. There's so much that seems to stand between us, it feels overwhelming," She mused, hoping that thinking aloud and letting him hear her thought process might make the words come easier, "I can say that after not knowing what to do with myself, feeling so lost and helpless for so long, now that I've finally found you again I have a reason to keep trying. To better myself for not only my benefit but yours as well. I have this feeling like I've got something outside of my own survival to be thinking about and living for. Before I think I didn't try to compose myself, had no reason to want to be myself again. Since We've found each other again... I feel stronger and better for it. If that isn't good I don't know what is. So for me, despite all that leaves me hurting this is something I need." Her words had a weight to them, as though each was a rock falling from her maw with a thud onto the ground. "And how we proceed... I don't really know. If we look at all that there is to do and say it seems like an impossible task, doesn't it?" She added quickly, a smirk tugging at one corner of her mouth. Having breifly thought of her mother before, she now found herself recalling her father. He was a stong man, and though he gave off the air of a tough guy when you first met him he was always so intelligent and amazed her with his insights into many issues. Features softening as she recalled these warm memories, Cae's tail tapped the ground tentatively. Whenever she felt lost it seemed like her parents managed to help her out, even if it was just through her memories of them, and that was something she was endlessly greatful to them for. She made a mental note to one day try and find out where they might be if that was possible, then she spoke with strong, certain words, "When we're faced with impossible tasks, it's easier to try and tackle the things that are possible about them first rather than the whole issue all at once, so it's less daunting and easier to accomplish." She announced this with a hopeful smile, standing up in her excitement. Her tone became a bit more serious when she added thoughtfully, "Maybe we start slow... Talk about the easy stuff. And try to see each other more, talk a little more and work things out as we go... Like when we met. We used to just see each other every so often, spend time together and stuff..." While Caelum wasn't sure what else to add, or if there was more they should do, she was glad that she'd at least tried to find a starting point. There was no sense in moping and worrying that they didn't know what to do. It was best to at least throw something out there, make an effort and see where things went. |