I could make you want me

Zephyr wish he knew why this all was so difficult. He'd spent years building a life without Caelum. He'd been okay without her. That didn't mean he didn't spend part of each day wishing that things weren't back to how they had once been.. just that he was surviving. For so long he'd cried over her. The sadness had shifted to blame over time, and now all that was left was.. what?

Nothing but pure, aching confusion.

It was difficult - no, nearly impossible - to deal with now. At least, that was how it felt to him. But something inside him did want more. He didn't want to yell or to force her to run away from him, not really, even despite the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that warned him of losing grip on himself. He was strong. He'd gotten through this so far without her. He didn't need her now, but somehow she had enchanted him into wanting more. Part of him felt as helpless as he had when he'd first met her. Maybe he hadn't seemed as shaken up by his feelings for her when he'd been young, but he had been.. and he felt the same kind of lack of control now as he gazed at her.

He hadn't used the shortened version of her name in awhile. It fell easily off his tongue and instantly his face contorted, just slightly, to something that betrayed his sense of wariness. Her words resonated with him and he'd nod slowly, agreeing silently. It did feel overwhelming. But to hear that.. seeing him again gave her reason to keep trying.. made his chest clench, almost painfully. "Things are easier without you," he breathed softly. The words were honest, not meant to hurt - for he knew just because things were easier also didn't mean they were better. Wanting things didn't make them good, either. He didn't know whether to focus on what was best for him; or if he even had half a mind about what was best for him or not. His brows furrowed, expression tightening again as he sought to find words to express himself. It had never been a hard thing for him but now it seemed only silence came when he finally parted his jaws to speak.

She seemed so different now that, as she spoke, far more easily than he could seem to. Zephyr knew she was stronger.. he couldn't deny it, hearing her now. No longer did she cower or cry. She was simply speaking to him, as they used to. It brought back so many memories and he found his posture slackening without meaning to. She'd always spoken as an equal to him and it was strange now to have such little to say in response. Perhaps it was just that he had too much to say that it threatened to overtake him, and the only way to control his emotions was to start simple for now. "But.. I don't think you've known me to take the easy way out," he said, slowly, after a long moment of consideration, as his tail curled around his hindquarters. They'd faced enormous challenges in their lives together, and they'd conquered every one of them until that fateful day.

There was so much left to discuss and to face. Where he had been, and what he had been doing, was something he wasn't looking forward to discussing. Perhaps he didn't have to at all. But no.. she'd seen a change in him. Lying to her wouldn't be a good start. His gaze fell from hers, heart lurching at the smirk that tugged at her lips. "Starting with the small things.. sounds nice. By the way, my name's Zephyr," he'd quip lightly, trying to ease some of the tension. But he really did like her idea. Perhaps his heart much more than his mind, but fighting her was hard when her presence itself felt like sunlight on a winter day. He wished they could start over, in a sense, but he knew their stories were far too entangled to even pretend they could begin anew.