See you later

She had to cringe at her own awkwardness here. She deeply regretted letting herself become so socially inept, not that there was anything she could do to alter this unfortunate reality at the moment. She'd let her thoughts return to the girl, who replied to her stammered words with amusement.

Cae grew a bit more cautious as she noticed the other woman becoming hesitant. She wanted to assure her that she wasn't trying to startle her, it was just that her mind was so intently focused on this girl that she couldn't get the words out. She didn't mean to come off so strange.

She couldn't believe this. She did, though. It was so unbelievable, how could she accept what was an increasingly obvious truth the more she looked at this girl. Guilt hit her with the force of a charging moose, sucking the air from her lungs, leaving Cae in a daze. Why? Had she done something that would make finding a lost loved one so troubling? In a way, yes. A self-hating part of the woman told her that she deserved the distrust and uncertainty she'd received from her child who still hadn't accepted what Caelum was also struggling with.

"I should have been there..." the thought stuck in her mind like claws raking into her flesh. Painful and far too real. There had been too many times she'd regretted parts of what she did that day... Normally it was the part where she hadn't been there when the attack began - now it was that she had taken off after the monster who had torn apart her youngest children, something that only led to her getting herself beat up while the horrible wolves she'd been after escaped, and apparently the other survivors were left in her dust. If she'd been there, if she'd stayed in the heart of their lands and remembered that Avani might have been off on one of her walks... She could have changed things. She could have still had one child, saved her from growing up without her parents. Why had she not stayed?

Her heart shattered when the child stepped back again. She couldn't blame her, they were strangers now. Reuniting with someone after so long... Well, Caelum already knew what that could feel like from her first experience. The second had been happier, and the meeting with Zephyr after their first encounter had been good, but still it remained a surreal feeling to know that those she'd thought died had in fact been alive all along. Avani probably was feeling lost, confused. Cae stopped advancing, trying to control her emotions, to let her daughter have some of the space she needed. It was so hard to not rush over and smoother her child, her baby, with all the love and affection in the world. Alive. Avani was alive.

Too long... A knowing sigh rushed from her lungs, laden with the weight of the world she seemed to feel pressing on her shoulders since... Since their lives were all torn apart. There were more tears, holding them back was impossible so she let them flow while she wondered what she could possibly say to that. Seeing this grown wolf, the mature version of a pup she'd raised years ago; it was too much. Cae had missed too much. Lowering her posture so she was laying with softer body language she murmured, "I know. Far too long."

What did she do now... Tell her daughter how much she regretted not being there for her? Tell her she was sorry? If normal parenting was hard, being a parent who wasn't there was a whole other level of difficulty. Now she was staring at a grown adult she didn't know, but oh how she wanted to. Difficult relationships seemed to be a theme in Caelum's life. Letting her chin rest on a gnarled tree root, the woman looked at her estranged daughter, seeing only the frightened child she'd consoled so many times in what seemed a whole other lifetime, "I've never stopped missing you, baby girl," she consoled, trying to soothe the upset girl. She glanced away, the tears coming faster. "You're pathetic, Cae. Get it together." Where to start... There was so much to say. A familiar feeling, much like how things were with Zephyr. Turning back to Avani she had a hard time picking her words, Cae was never good with them after all, "I know we've been apart a long time... But I'm here... We're here now. And I'm not going anywhere," she promised.