Anything But Beautiful
Loneliness was her companion. It had been for a long time. And it seemed that Bass was no stranger to it either. She looked up at him as he spoke, and she wondered how he managed to cope with it. He had lost so much more then her, and despite all her abandonment, only two wolves had remained in her life. Her uncle, and Bass. Who when she thought about it, Bass was pretty much more of a father to her then her own father was. It was pretty sad when she thought about it. The fact that she wasn't good enough to her own parents...she felt like she had been dumped off on someone else. But she had been too afraid to voice that thought. What if she was a burden to Bass and her uncle? She could barely get herself out of her den most days, and when she did her time was spent moping around and just wandering around the territory and collecting random plants (even though she had no idea what they were for), all while avoiding her packmates. She had no friends. The one she did have, left. At least...she liked to assume that Starling was her friend as much as he had been her mentor, anyway.
She thought about what he said, and she knew he was right. It was just a matter of finding the will to do it. She looked away for a moment, a deep sigh slipping out. "You're right..." He really was. She just didn't know where to start, or when she would actually heed his advice. "Speaking of your family..." She looked up at him, confusion in her eyes. What about her family? Had he found them? No. What he said next was much more then that. She listened in silence as he told her the news. And when he finished and apologized, she continued to look at him for a moment longer before finally looking away.
So...Her father was...dead? He had a new family? New kids? A new life? Well, maybe not anymore, but he did. She had no idea how to feel. Her expression was unreadable, her thoughts hard to sort out. She was silent for a long while as she processed what Bass had told her. Her throat tightening several times, but she refused to let anymore tears fall. She knew now...how truly unimportant and unloved she was to her family. That thought made her the saddest. She sighed heavily, brows furrowing. "Don't be sorry...I know now how muchI really didn't matter to him..." She looked up at him, her gaze sad yet struggling to hide it. "I...I don't know how to feel...I always wondered where he was... when I would see him again...and all this time he was in another pack...with a new family...And he never came to see me...he just..." Her shoulders slumped, gaze turning away again. "I'm glad he's dead...he didn't deserve to be a father." She was very surprised by what she had just said, but she wasn't sure how else to feel. He left. Started a new life. And acted as if she never existed. "SPEAK" |
